While there are undoubtedly some jerks out there, I think most of the Captains who push FOs are doing that intentionally, hoping that the FO will stand strong. I think what you might be missing is that those Captains are not doing that to be jerks, but rather, they are looking for the FO to push back confidently and competently. If you watch carefully, you might even see them grin and nod just a bit when the FO does.Being a good FO doesn't equal being a doormat. Believe it or not, there are some Captains out there that like to see how far they can push someone, and sometimes throwing it back at them works wonders. We had two at QX that were both just raging hemeroids to fly with (both were BOI based).
It's really easy to just listen on freq, and see what everyone else is reporting. In fact, in most center's...when you check on, they tell you what the rides are like. You know why they do this...to stop everyone clogging up the frequency with "how are the rides".
Stop making mountains out of mole hills, and you'll be less likely to end up like Todd.
My first Captain was considered a total ass by many folks who didn't last. To those of us who grokked what he was asking of us, he was one of the greatest mentors ever. We all learned much and advanced beyond our expectations... because that's where he pushed us.
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