Not being an idiot, never going alone with anyone anywhere and not going in someone's room. Those were the three rules passed down to me by some very nice FAs when I first arrived at the Eskimo.
2018 was right in the middle of the me too thing and I had just left SkyWest where oddly enough this never seemed to be an issue at all. But anyhow. 4 very nice mid to high seniority FAs asked the captain and I to get tacos with them. The captain dashed for the elevators without saying anything lol. It was super embarrassing. The guy couldn't even muster a "hey thanks but..." He just scurried like a sad, pathetic crab to the elevators without a word.
I was like sure and on probation I bought them a round of margaritas. So after that nice gesture they asked me how things were going on probation. I let them know that nearly 8 months in this was the first time I'd ever done anything as a crew, well without captain vanishing act of course but you get it. I mentioned that at SkyWest this had never been an issue. So I asked them why captains were so weird at my new place of employment. Some very funny stories ensued and after the laughs I asked how I could stay out of trouble. Thats when they let me know the two rules: don't go alone with anyone, anywhere and don't go in anyone's room.
"That's it?" I asked. Yep. "Wow you'd really have to be an idiot. I mean we are at work." And the third rule was born. It shouldn't need to be said but there are some without any kind of social filter, who were never socialized and since they completely lack empathy they don't understand how to relate to other people. Sadly, a lot of them seem to be captains at my airline, like
@Cherokee_Cruiser
I've put in another bid for captain and I was discussing that with the crew at Ray's. That's when they asked me about low time pilots. It was fun listening to the perspective from the other side of the door. More mental notes of how not to act at work. Which makes it sad and in a way it makes life even harder for guys like
@Cherokee_Cruiser. The more you interact with the FAs the more you learn about how to be a good captain. I'm constantly learning from other captains mistakes and I don't even have to fly with them. But holy hell some of them are so full of themselves. I couldn't imagine treating flight crew in such a demeaning and condescending manner.
If you don't have empathy and you can't imagine what it's like to be in someone else's shoes I'm sure it would make it difficult to imagine why mostly women seem to get so upset with you. For no reason at all. It must be profoundly disturbing maybe even frightening to interact with someone and not be able to understand why the interaction went so sideways. Being socially clueless must be at times extremely difficult.
“Being socially clueless must be at times extremely difficult.”
At a fictitious airline, there was a made up pilot who publicly threw a CA and FO under a bus by publicly calling out their names on a pilot forum for not having the APU during boarding and it was hot. At a fictitious airline, there was a separate thread about two pilots who couldn’t get along and a made up pilot commented how he has on numerous occasions wished he could walk off on his CAs. At a fictitious airline, a made up pilot commented how he had CAs who would refuse to deice and takeoff with contaminated wings. Said pilot writes he was fed up with CAs and couldn’t wait to take the first upgrade. Of course this is a fictitious airline and a made up pilot, so none of these happened. But imagine if they did, and then I could imagine a CA not wanting to hang out.
Anyway, away from that fictitious example and back to real world, I’ve been doing 121 longer than you. I know about proper etiquette, and I have hung out with my crew before. I find it extremely ironic you writing about “being a good Captain.” Let’s just say, it isn’t only the FA crowd you truly have to endear yourself with. It’s the guy sitting next to you. And if you end up with a reputation of sorts, that’s not a good thing.
Overnight stories are countless.
I’ve hung out as a crew of 5 at JFK when I was a FO for dinner when the bill came and the FAs glared at the CA. CA ended up paying $182 for dinner and drinks. 1 FA didn’t even bother saying thank you to him.
I knew a CA who went out for dinner with the 2 FAs, had food at the hotel restaurant. CA never hit on any of them. Just a normal dinner. One FA went to bathroom. Came back about 10 minutes later. Remaining FA said nothing that night, but then complained to her mgt that the CA had hit on her and made her uncomfortable. CA is a nice married guy who did no such thing. So an investigation happens and in the end nothing happens. Still, the incident shook the CA.
I’ve flown with a FO who told me he was hoping to hook up with a FA and then claims he did after an overnight. Nothing came of this situation but it’s just one more thing that I’ve been privy to and if something did happen, I’m a party of that investigation where the line of questioning won’t be pretty.
My goal is being able to claim I have no clue what’s transpired, who did what, or who went where with who, during an overnight. The less I know, the better.
I’m a grown man with young kids who simply wants to enjoy his own personal time OFF from work doing stuff by myself. Somehow, that became a bad thing. I’m making an exception for
@///AMG but if I saw you today for 7 hrs in a pressurized metal tube, why would I want to see you again that day? It’s not like we didn’t already see each other enough.
Lastly, I’d be wary of FA sole-source info on CAs you haven’t flown with.
“lack empathy they don't understand how to relate to other people. Sadly, a lot of them seem to be captains at my airline, like
@Cherokee_Cruiser “
Hmmm. More examples of CAs ditching you? And then I have to think of the numerous complaints you made about CAs at your Corpie job. They were all racist and bigots right? And now here they don’t seem to want to hang out?
You are correct. The problem is 100% all the CAs you’ve flown with.
