Wow, alright a lot to reply to. I guess I'll go and answer some specific people first and then answer some general questions.
Kristie - Finances are actually something I'm taking into consideration here very much. Rent is a lot cheaper on my parents couch than it is in Jersey. At least until April, I was going to be paying about $750 a month with the room mate I found out there. I was looking for about 3 weeks, but he was the only guy I could come up with. After that who know's, it could have been the same or less, but I'm not the kind of guy that likes to make bets on being able to find a cheap room.
I'll tell you that week of sitting on the couch with no students and no pay gave me a lot of time to think (40 hours and some change) about what I want to do with my life, and I realized that this career isn't going to give me what I want out to life. Even when I look to the end of this career, it still looks like it sucks to me. That's a real kick in the pants, and I had some time to really dwell on that.
Further I'm trying to not screw the FBO by getting a few months down the road, finally accepting things and then hosing a bunch of students. I have no students, and hence neither students nor the FBO have any liability in me. I figure it's better to be up front and honest now than tell them this a few months down the road when it WILL be a problem.
Ok some general things.
-There seems to be this idea that I'm scared of this change with my life with moving to Jersey, but it seems obviously evident to me that the real big change here is me not wanting to pursue this career and I'm alright with that fact. Moving to the east coast isn't a huge deal for me. Sure, Jersey seems weird and I don't feel like I fit in, but I felt the same way about college (I grew up in a town of 2,500 people and moved to a town with like 120,000 people in for college, talk about culture shock!). Simply said, it's just taken me some time and some experiences to realize that this career isn't going to give me what I want out of life.
-I'm not getting out of flying. The topic of this thread, "I'm out," refered to me pulling myself out of the career track. I'm just not interested in retiring doing this. Again, hard to explain all this without the nitty gritty details of my life.
-Ryan you're a taint. And you're training was great! This has so little to do with the FBO I was with, moving, or anything else like that. It has to do with this career as a whole and the end result still not being what I deem to be acceptable to me as far as pay and quality of life go. Oh speaking of, the pay doesn't mean much to me; I'm going to be poor getting started in ANY career, just kind of a fact of life.
-And I didn't do that great in my undergraduate work. I graduated with a 2.9 overall, but I plan to destroy the LSAT (I'm fairly confident in my ability to do so) and if I don't? I'll go to a low level masters program and 4.0 it there, then give myself a better shot at moving on. To be honest, I didn't take my undergraduate years very seriously (as many have done) and I won't be getting into a top 10 law school or philosophy program. I'm cool with that, I'll just have to start a little lower on the totem pole.
Thanks for all the well wishing AND the critiques everybody. I appreciate that ya'll are so critical of everything, all the time. Seriously! It really makes me think before I make posts on here. I'm just trying to make as much of a response fo ya'll as I can. I figure ya'll have spent time thinking about my situation long enough to reply and that deserves a response, so don't think i'm trying to back talk anybody; I just like to make things as clear as possible! Also thanks to everybody that's called me up in the last day to make sure I'm alright, I really appreciate it.
Also, I'm trying to figure out which one of you know a CHQ first officer based in Buffalo. He won't tell me who knows him, but he called me up a few minutes ago and was like "John what are ya doing here," and I haven't told him anything yet.
Oh and lastly, just remember; NOTHING IS F***ED! I'll keep flying, I'm keeping my options open, I might come back to this career later, but I've realized that there ARE indeed other things that make me happy in life and it's not always flying. For the time being, I almost have to flight instruct simply beacuse I don't know how to do anything else. I mean seriously, I graduated with a degree in...philosophy.