Funny Things Heard On A Trip

FlyChicaga

FlyChicaga

Vintage Restoration
Here are a few that made me laugh out loud on my last trip. What have you got?

ATC to a very light CAL 757: "Continental 123, contact departure, enjoy your trip to the moon."

Me to my Capt after a Mesa CRJ-900 was cleared for takeoff in front of us: "Check it out, there goes our career, up up and away."
 
Something I heard on our local CTAF at KCNU.

"Chanute traffic this is Mooney 123, inbound for landing"
3 minutes later.
King Air:
"Chanute Traffic this is King Air 456, holding at 18. Mooney what is your position?"
Mooney:
"King Air 456, I am trying to figure that out myself"

King Air:
"Chanute Traffic, umm Mooney 123 we have you on TCAS, you are 5 miles Southwest, Do you think you can find it now?......King Air 456 will be straight out to the South. Good Day Chanute"

I was amused by that, I guess I am easily entertained though.
 
FlyChicaga said:
Here are a few that made me laugh out loud on my last trip. What have you got?

ATC to a very light CAL 757: "Continental 123, contact departure, enjoy your trip to the moon."

Me to my Capt after a Mesa CRJ-900 was cleared for takeoff in front of us: "Check it out, there goes our career, up up and away."
Click to expand...

LOL...:)
 
Coming out of the backside of the Charlotte E gates, and one of the remaining Air Shuttle ERJs was requesting taxi.

"Ramp, Airshuttle XXX ugggghgghhh ready to taxi."
"Roger, take it to the line Elmer Fudd."


Same trip, flying with a captain who just upgraded to the CRJ from the Dork (he was active duty military and was gone for 2 years).

Doing 250 just outside the marker
Me: "We might be a bit fast..."
Him: "That's alright... we'll just flatten the props.... oh... yeah... slowing now."

We made it but it wasn't pretty.
 
BobDDuck said:
Doing 250 just outside the marker
Me: "We might be a bit fast..."
Him: "That's alright... we'll just flatten the props.... oh... yeah... slowing now."

We made it but it wasn't pretty.
Click to expand...

Oopps!! LOL I am a 20 hour student and can see the humor in that.
We all have our days I guess.
 
3 days ago the tower controller requested how many birds that were coming at our plane from all directions. I reported "Tower, it's like world war two up here, and non of them have an IFR clearance!" Without missing a beat she then asked the species, which I thought was a rather interesting question to delve into when past the FAF... "geese, but a unique plumage."

Ok so that wasn't funny but it has had me cracking up about it the past few days.
 
My student was taking the active with me in the right seat in an airplane with a bubble canopy. Procedure is to ask the other pilot "rail clear?" over the interphone before motoring the canopy closed to ensure the other guy doesn't get his hands or anything else caught in the canopy. The other pilot then responds back with "Rail clear".. if it's clear. Student makes the following radio exchange:

Tower: "Raptor 62, cleared for take-off, 13C"
Student: "Raptor 62, cleared for take-off, rail clear sir?" (with his finger on the transmit button for the entire exchange)

Tower: "Rail clear"
Some smart-ass flying in the pattern: "Rail clear"
Some other smart-ass flying in the pattern: "Rail clear"

Me: ...no response... to busy laughing at my student.
 
Waiting for IFR release from an uncontrolled airport...

FSS lady: "Expect a 20 min. delay for inbound traffic"
Me: "Roger"
FSS: "Can I get you anything while you wait, like a weather briefing, orrrrr... a burger?"

Every morning about 4-5 of us freighters from different companies land at an uncontrolled airport at about the same time. Recently got this:

Center: "You're #4 for the approach, expect to hold at ABC, and say approach request."
Me: "VOR-B"
Center: "Oh well, expect the VOR/DME-A, all the cool kids are doing it!"
 
LOL those are some great ones!

i really look forward to gettin into some controlled airspace and a towered airport!

but, today i heard someone do a quagmire (sp?) giggidy giggidy on the radio. i got a laugh out of it
 
fish314 said:
Procedure is to ask the other pilot "rail clear?" over the interphone before motoring the canopy closed to ensure the other guy doesn't get his hands or anything else caught in the canopy.
Click to expand...
Got to love the training environment. That answeres a question for me. I flew with an F18 guy when I was getting him his civilian ATP in a seminole. I couldn't figure out why he would verbalize "rail clear" everytime I would shut the door when we were cleared on to the runway. Makes sense now.
 
On ops the other day in LAX I asked where our next aircraft was going to be parked.

Me: "Ops do you know where St. George is?"

Smartass pilot: "Southern Utah"
 
On NY Center earlier today:

SWA: "Got any corners we can cut today?"

Center: "I've got your request."

Unknown A/C: "You guys are always cutting corners Southwest. How those TR's working today?"
 
The really funny stuff I've heard I'd be afraid to put on a website because I'd get flamed for sure. Or sued for even repeating it! :)

Probably the one I can talk about is there was a crew waiting for a gate and one pilot said to the other one:

Pilot A: "What's he got, gerbils pushing the plane back?"
Pilot B: "Richard Gere would be proud!"
Pilot A: "Is that true about Richard Gere?"
Pilot B: "I doubt it. I should look on snopes"
Pilot A: "Do gay guys really do that?"
Pilot B: "I don't think so. Hey, let me SMS one of my gay pals and ask him"
 
Doug Taylor said:
The really funny stuff I've heard I'd be afraid to put on a website because I'd get flamed for sure. Or sued for even repeating it! :)

Probably the one I can talk about is there was a crew waiting for a gate and one pilot said to the other one:

Pilot A: "What's he got, gerbils pushing the plane back?"
Pilot B: "Richard Gere would be proud!"
Pilot A: "Is that true about Richard Gere?"
Pilot B: "I doubt it. I should look on snopes"
Pilot A: "Do gay guys really do that?"
Pilot B: "I don't think so. Hey, let me SMS one of my gay pals and ask him"
Click to expand...

LOL...;)
 
out at gky last week, a guy was on his commercial checkride and was monitoring clearance or whatever you do for that, and was xmitting on arlington's traffic channel. He ran thru his clearance twice before he realized it. it was really funny. what a great way to start a checkride!
 
I was sitting in the jumpseat of a DC-9 last year. It was night over western PA/Ohio area.

Dinner had been served and the captain pulled a ziploc bag of almonds out and started munching. He turned to the FO and I and offered us some almonds. I said no thanks and he said "they'll be right here if you want 'em" and dropped the sealed bag onto the center console.

At least five minutes later, "Ding" from the ACARS.

YOU HAVE STUCK MIC. CNTCT CLE CNTR ON 123.45.

All three heads turned to the bag of almonds that had landed squarely upon the mic button and had been holding it down through five minutes of conversation.

Took a minute or two for the laughter to subside for the radio call to be made!
 
There was a big fire yesterday off the end of the airport in EWR. Everybody and their brother was asking about it.

CAL: "Continental 26 Heavy, DOIN for 4R."
TWR: "Continental 26 Heavy, 4R Cleared to land."
CAL: "Pretty big fire out there. What is it?"
TWR: "Brush fire."
CAL: "Didn't think there was that much to burn in Jersey."
TWR: "Yeah, we call that Urban Renewal."
 
Another one while we were taxiing in after arrival in EWR. We had landed on a different runway.

"Continental 123, cleared to land runway 22L, caution windshear on short final plus or minus 10 knots, caution balloon reported on the final at 2000."

"Ok cleared to land, oh yeah, look there, theres the balloons."
 
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