Funny Things Heard On A Trip

Heh.... I made that same call into DCA in October or November. We were doing the Mount Vernon Visual, circle 33 and were warned about kite activity over the naval base. The captain makes a 500 foot call for me and then transmits, "kites in sight for bluestreak". Of course, I had to look around for the kite and overshot the turn a little. At least, that's MY excuse for the bad landing:)
 
Here are a few funny ones...enjoy!

Tower:
"Hawk 20, is this the same aircraft declaring emergency about two hours ago ?"
Pilot:
"Negativ, Sir. It's only the same pilot."

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Tower:
"Delta Oscar Mike, squawk 0476."
Pilot:
"Say again."
Tower:
"Squawk 0476."
Pilot:
"Four, zero...? "
Tower:
"Would you like an easier one?"

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Tower:
Mission 123, do you have problems?
Pilot:
I think I've lost my compass.
Tower:
Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel!

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Tower:
Do you have enough fuel or not?
Pilot:
Yes.
Tower:
Yes what??
Pilot:
Yes, SIR!
 
I was in the FBO the other day watching a newer student do some crosswind landings. One in particular involved some side loadings lets just say. A moment later, after passing behind the building and blocking my view, I hear....
"Chanute Traffic, Cessna 37 Quebec is off the runway."

I replied from the FBO "Cessna 37 Quebec...do you need assistance?"

Reply "Why would I need assistance??"

I replied:
"You did say off the runway correct?"

Pause.....

"Cessna 37 Quebec is CLEAR the active....giggle giggle"
 
Air Wis: "Center Wisconsin XXXX requesting direct Bradford"
Center: "Direct Bradford"
Air Wis: "Thanks a lot we appreciate it"
Center: "I'm here for ya"
 
Experimental xxx: Approach, I'd like to change my destination.
Approach: Rodger experimental xxx, ident
Exp: ..... 4376
App: No sir Ident please
Exp: (long pause) I don't know what that is
App: It's the little button on your.... there you go!
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And for you Super Troopers fans, heard over Louisville

App: UPS xxx cleared direct meow(unsure of intersection spelling)
UPS: Rodger, uh, direct meow?
App: Afirm, direct meow
UPS: Direct meow, how do you spell that
App: (gives spelling)
UPS: Ok, rodger direct meow
 
I was in CLT last week on the North Ramp control and the controller was having a tough time shuffling all the inbound and outbound traffic. (Its only one taxi lane for in and out).

North Ramp: "Air Shuttle xxxx taxi over into that cubby hole and hold there."

Air Shuttle xxxx: "Uh, we don't see a cubby hole depicted on the chart"

North Ramp: "I know, I just made that up"

Unknown: "You know...Cubby hole has a whole different meaning down in Key West"

North Ramp: "Yeah..uh...lets not go there"
 
Neither the captain or I paying attention to our distance from the airport, coming through a cloud deck. All three of us just wanna get in and go home. 6000', 6 miles from the field, and I ask for the ILS.

Tower: Your a little high there, are you sure

Me: (in my best Water Boy movie impression) WE CAN DOOOO IIIITTT!:nana2:

I guess you had to be there, the engineer and captain had tears running down there face.
 
Yeah what is it with this ASAP, FOQA program stuff? I was reading that article in the Airline Pilot and couldn't make heads or tails of it.
 
frog_flyer said:
meow what is so funneh boy?

do see me moving all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?!

do you see me drinking milk!?
Click to expand...


We had one of the Ramp Controllers doing this in IAH one day (as he'd hand you from East to West side). It was one of our better ones. He also says "Good day, eh." to the Air Canada flights.
 
one day when i was sittin up at kdal with my scanner i heard a netjets dyslexify and butcher his ground clearance. ground was like 'wtf mate.' the pilot responded with,

"whoops, had a senior moment"

maybe 60 is a good age to retire :)
 
Mr_Creepy said:
Yeah what is it with this ASAP, FOQA program stuff? I was reading that article in the Airline Pilot and couldn't make heads or tails of it.
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ASAP is like the NASA program, but done internally. You are mostly protected from inadvertant regulation violations. We also use it to track odd events like RTOs and low fuel diverts.
 
BobDDuck said:
ASAP is like the NASA program, but done internally. You are mostly protected from inadvertant regulation violations. We also use it to track odd events like RTOs and low fuel diverts.
Click to expand...
Thank you!
 
FOQA is basically your aircraft's telemetry information uplinked live to the company to track exceeding tolerances, operational parameters, etc.

Luckily, it's "de-identified" by a third party at my employer before it's looked at. But companies that have it and don't de-identify the data pretty much know off the bat when you're exceeding flap toleranes, pulling too many G's on the aircraft and flying unstabilized approachs.

More or less like having a snitch on the jumpseat.
 
I dunno! I've never seen a circuit breaker for "FOQA" (Flight Operations Quality Assurance I think).
 
Just because it says "RAT" might not mean that it is the one you are looking for. That would sort of suck if you lost your gens.
 
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