Funniest thing you have heard over the radio?

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ChasenSFO said:
Oh really? I heard my old school was in trouble guess they sold it off. Did my first solo and have over 90 hours in that airplane. Don't break it. :)
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Yep, based at KSAF. I rarely fly the thing, but I'm checked out in it. It was actually purchased from a flying club after the 172 I did my first solo in became a pile of junk on the side of a mountain (fortunately no injuries).
 
I was flying over PHX a couple of years ago and some Johnny-Private-Pilot was on frequency making extremely lengthy transmissions, asking about his heading and altitude to be sure he wouldn't enter the bravo airspace. Approach kept reassuring him that he wasn't going to enter the bravo, but the guy wouldn't stop rambling about how concerned he was. I think the approach controller eventually just gave him a class B clearance to shut him up. Anyway, after several minutes of this guy's terrible communication and SA, I had to chime in. So I just said "Get a chart."
Guy comes back: "Sorry."
 
ChasenSFO said:
For some reason, that last one reminds me of my long solo XC, the only time I got nervous on the radio and said something I didn't mean to broadcast.
Me: "Ok, sorry, 134.5 for 04P. Sorry, student pilot".
MER: "Jesus, now you tell us. Good night sir."

:(

But hey, if you can't laugh at yourself right?
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Pretty funny, but the guys at my field would have ripped you to shreds after you did a 180 on the runway.
 
As an IFR 135 pilot I had been landing at an airport at the same time every day, five days a week. One day I was never switched from approach to tower and never realized it. I proceeded to land (without a clearance) and didn't realize my mistake until roll-out.

Me: xxx tower, Starcheck xxx on runway whatever, just realized I never checked in - my apologies.
Tower: Starcheck xxx, cleared for the visual runway whatever, cleared to land runway whatever, taxi to the ramp with me.
 
Screaming_Emu said:
We were coming into Dulles on an afternoon that was starting to get busy. They were landing on runway 1C and 1R. They ended up having us fly (what seemed like) damn near half the way to Richmond on the downwind before offering us "You guys can stay on 1C but you won't turn downwind for another couple minutes, or we can let you turn in for 1L and you'll be number one, your choice". We opted on the left side, which means there's a bit longer of a taxi, but it should still be faster. Which lead to the check in with the female tower controller:

Captain: "Dulles, tower, Acey XXXX number one on the visual approach on one left"
Tower: "Acey XXXX runway one left, you're cleared to land."
Captain: "Cleared to land, runway one left"
Tower: "So nice of approach to let you fly so far south before finally offering you this runway"
Captain: "its ok, its a beautiful day to sight see"
Tower: "DID YOU JUST SAY ITS A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO BITE ME!?!?"
Captain: "No no no...Sightsee....sightsee!"
Tower: "Oh, ok...either one is fine"

Tied with
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Sounds like NY. Did the controller happen to be the one that does the epic SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYUHs? Her name is Megan, best controller to work/drink with ever.
 
JumpWake said:
Sounds like NY. Did the controller happen to be the one that does the epic SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYUHs? Her name is Megan, best controller to work/drink with ever.
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I think it was actually someone else, but I do know who Megan is. Sometime last year I was going through security and someone with an FAA lanyard started talking to me which of course made me nervous. I told her that her voice sounded strangely familiar, and she said that's because she was a controller up in the tower. Seemed really nice.

Also had a jumpseater one time who told us to call her "sir" over the radio and that she would find it funny. She claims that a lot of people mistake her voice for a dude.
 
This was her fb status a couple weeks ago:

[h=6]Airshuttle- tell Megan to be quiet we can hear her in the background."
Acey- We don't know Megan but she sounds hot."
(both aircraft switch to tower)
Me-"AirShut, that's big talk for someone who can't make the first highspeed. And Acey, I am hot."[/h]
Also, next time you talk to her (she'll be the loud one) tell her go Red Sox...that may or may not get you some time in the 30 pad :)
 
I don't really have any good stories as I only have 100 hours, but I have heard some funny atc stories over liveatc.net, anyone ever heard of boston john? Pretty funny stuff.
 
Me: "Tower, is the traffic we're following off our wing now?"
Tower: "No, you're following the second seminole, running close behind the first one."
Tower: "Seminole 12345, cleared to land."
Tower: "Seminole 67890, you're number 2 behind the seminole, cleared to land. S turns are approved for spacing"
Seminole 67890: "They must be granny-shifting instead of double-clutching."
 
B767 said:
Me: "Tower, is the traffic we're following off our wing now?"
Tower: "No, you're following the second seminole, running close behind the first one."
Tower: "Seminole 12345, cleared to land."
Tower: "Seminole 67890, you're number 2 behind the seminole, cleared to land. S turns are approved for spacing"
Seminole 67890: "They must be granny-shifting instead of double-clutching."
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Wow I feel honored to have made JC fame. Seriously OHPilot you were doing slow flight on final I swear.
 
i had a VFR request a class B clrn through the Chicago B over the top of ORD at 3500 feet during the after noon arrival depature rush.......... i thought that was real funny.
 
Got three more from ATL APP.

One from Buzz: On a late afternoon, hazy day, running visuals to the west. Buzz asks a DL if they have the field in sight. The captain says, "The FO has it, but I can't see it."
Buzz's repy? "Very good. Tell the FO he is cleared for the visual, you fly 320 degrees, join the loc, cleared for the ILS."

One plane, on being switched to tower, apparently forgot the freq they were just given. They asked, " Hey approach, what's the tower again?"
The controller replied, "It's the big tall white building in the middle of the field, but that's not important right now."

Coming in from a nap one morning in an E-120, we were on a high, downwind for 27L. There was a DL 737-200 chugging up from SINCA. The controller gave us a short approach in front of the FLUF. We got dirty and turned in. The movement startled the DLs and they started sqawking about being cut off. The controller told them, "Quit complaining, the Acey is doing 100 knots over the ground faster than you. I don't think you'll catch him." We landed, cleared the inboard, and were taxing into the ramp when the 737 was finally in the flare.
 
ASpilot2be said:
The 88kts on final does feel like slow flight somedays.
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Or legitimately putting that badjohnny in slow flight on final..

TWR: seminole XXXAT be ready to go around.. spacing doesnt look good with that TBM that turned final ahead of you.
ME: Listen, we're gonna strap in with the traffic on the road.. hows a groundspeed of 55 sound?
TWR: Looks like this might work
 
This was last week:
Airline 123: Center, Airline 123 requesting lower, we've got continuous light chop here are 340
MEM Center: Airline 123, unable, you've got a bunch of airplanes coming in your face.

I swear to the higher power, that was the exact phrase he used. I looked over at the captain and we both starting tearing up we were laughing so much. It took a lot of restraint not to key the mike and ask if MEM meant bukaki.
 
BTpilot said:
Or legitimately putting that badjohnny in slow flight on final..

TWR: seminole XXXAT be ready to go around.. spacing doesnt look good with that TBM that turned final ahead of you.
ME: Listen, we're gonna strap in with the traffic on the road.. hows a groundspeed of 55 sound?
TWR: Looks like this might work
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Hahaha, awesome! Tower here sent us on a very long downwind at 600'. We had the props full forward, so I doubt the people down below appreciated it. :)
 
trickeriche said:
This was last week:
Airline 123: Center, Airline 123 requesting lower, we've got continuous light chop here are 340
MEM Center: Airline 123, unable, you've got a bunch of airplanes coming in your face.

I swear to the higher power, that was the exact phrase he used. I looked over at the captain and we both starting tearing up we were laughing so much. It took a lot of restraint not to key the mike and ask if MEM meant bukaki.
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awesome response would have been "ahhh my face"
 
"We've got Light to moderate chop here at 350, request 360"

"Ok, but there's occasional to continuous severe mechanical turbulence at FL360..."

"Say again center?"

"If I give you 360 you're going to run into that 747 8 miles at your 12 O'CLOCK!!!"
 
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