Decision to make......

M

mshunter

Well-Known Member
I was offered a job last night and have till tomorrow to make a decision. It will be a good steeping stone, but will involve some MAJOR sacrafices. I will have to be away from my wife for about a year, and my son, and my new baby, and my dog. The pay is enough for me to send money home so my wife won't have to move, and I'll still have enough money to durvive on. I will be building turbine PIC time, but will more than likely live in PoDunk nowhere. I have been flying contract work since October, and it's just not keeping me busy enough most of the time.

WWYD if you were in my shoes? Take a job that you know would be a good career builder, or stay home with the family and wait it out for something else to come along? I will not be able to resign from the position for a year, because there is a training contract that is prorated for a year. So I am torn. It's one of those kind of jobs that once you're in, you're in.
 
Unless the pay is RIDICULOUSLY good, stay at home. By good I mean the equivalent of 3-4 years of pay in 1. Then it might be a good kickstart. If not, stay home. Raising your kid will be the best thing you ever do in your life. Go ask the Astronauts that landed on the moon.
 
Personally I wouldn't do it. But I'm also not in your shoes. To me (and I'm sure to you) a year away from my wife would be unbearable and no job would be worth that. But I know everyone is different. This is a decision that really only you and your wife can make. The JC community is a good sounding board though. Best of luck with your decision though! I'm sure whatever you make will be the right one.
 
Screaming_Emu said:
Personally I wouldn't do it. But I'm also not in your shoes. To me (and I'm sure to you) a year away from my wife would be unbearable and no job would be worth that. But I know everyone is different. This is a decision that really only you and your wife can make. The JC community is a good sounding board though. Best of luck with your decision though! I'm sure whatever you make will be the right one.
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The only problem is that if I choose not to be away from my wife, there is little chance I will be gainfully employed for at least the next year.
 
What happens at the end of a year? Do you get to move to a better, more family friendly place? If there is no "end game" and you are simply looking for a years worth of income I'd turn wrenches until something came up. If the job is that you could go to BFE for a year, but get to a better domicile and have advancement, then it is worth thinking about. But, if there is no advancement available, and the job is not really upwardly mobile or only lasts for one year, I'd pass on it.
 
If it was me, I would sacrifice a year to guarantee a better job in the future. But I know little about raising a family.
 
If the job is really that good, your wife should be moving with you. If its not good enough for your wife to move and quit her job, than I would say its not worth it given your situation with a family and what not.
 
mshunter said:
I would get 4 days off a month. But the places where I would be based at, I could airline my wife up at least a few times a month.
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Well, I guess it's not contract work in Afghan then. I would only take it if the money and experience would offset the hardship's that a year away from the family will cause. I was gone for a year back in 2008 and, without getting into too much detail, there are still family issues from that experience that we haven't gotten over yet. Furthermore, you can't predict the future and saying to yourself "we will be fine" is only your hopes and expectations talking to you.
 
Reading what your situation is, I'd pass man. There's more than life than just flying. Take your own advice and read your signature.

I will have to be away from my wife for about a year, and my son, and my new baby, and my dog... and will more than likely live in PoDunk nowhere.
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You only have one life to spend. I'd spend it with the son, wife, and new baby. I think she could use all the help you can give her in your free time.

Like Waco said, I'd look into turning wrenches until something better than this comes up. Good luck man.
 
I hate to say it, but have you thought about applying to the regionals? I know it's not optimal, but if you're looking to fly airplanes and be home every 4-5 days, it'll work for you until something else comes along.
 
If there's no other option, yeah, I suppose I'd do it. Better to make the $ and be apart than have zero income and be together. My dad missed the first 2 years of my brother's life while he was at Ubon in Thailand during Vietnam. Families "should" be together, but goodness knows we don't live in a perfect world and sometimes we have to do drastic things to support our families.
 
If it was me, my first thought would go to my kids and their future. If this new job would better support them and their future, I would take it.
 
mshunter said:
It will be a good steeping stone, but will involve some MAJOR sacrifices.
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Stepping stones aren't worth major sacrifices. Stepping stones can be found with less disruption. With the strings attached you have mentioned, there is no way I'd waste brain cells thinking about it.

mshunter said:
I will have to be away from my wife for about a year, and my son, and my new baby, and my dog.
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Not worth it. The wife and kids need you more than you need the "possible" benefits that you most likely can find closer to home.

middies10 said:
... my first thought would go to my kids and their future. If this new job would better support them and their future, I would take it.
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If he takes the job, there might not BE a future with the family. I know guys that took the "Whale" jobs flying the Pac-rim and it pretty much destroyed the marriage. Families are permanent, jobs are temporary.....especially one you know going in are temporary. Why jeopardize the family structure for something you know is temporary. If this were a "lifetime" opportunity it might be another issue.
 
If your son is very young and your wife is strong and has a good support system along with being amicable to the idea then I might consider it. I don't have a family but I really commend you for putting yours first in the decision making process. A year however can go by rather quickly and if you make a solid effort to communicate and support your wife and son then being gone isn't always the a bad thing. My dad was deployed a good deal when I was growing up and while it wasn't easy I know my mom actually enjoyed being PIC of the house and we all knew it was the job he did and loved that provided us with a comfortable life. Either way, glad you have an offer, sorry it's not more aligned to your situation.
 
If it was me, I'd look at things from a year down the road. Say you take the job, a year down the road will you regret being away from your wife, regret moving, regret not seeing your kids, etc.? Would this be something that would bother you on your death bed? If it's something you'd look back on and say you wish you would have zigged instead of zagged, then don't do it. If you're honest with yourself, the answer should be pretty clear and you should make your decision off of that. Good luck.
 
SIUav8er said:
If the job is really that good, your wife should be moving with you. If its not good enough for your wife to move and quit her job, than I would say its not worth it given your situation with a family and what not.
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+1

The only thing I would add is:

-What does Ms Hunter say/think/feel? Your marriage comes first...ALWAYS. Your boy needs that stability.
-How old is your son now? Your presence in his life is more important in some yrs than others. <3 yrs...you take the job; 3-7 yrs...you stay to be his father; >7 yrs, he could understand your absence with occasional visits/reunions.
-like WACO said, there is no end game. This decision will come again. So...the Q is, will this job move you forward commensurate to the sacrifice of separation?

So you ask a question and get more questions...Styker, the decision is yours...is yours...is yours. And Ms H.
 
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