My story is a military one as I am a military aviator but we have the same issues, though ours is often being outranked by the aircraft commander. Back in 1999, I was flying in the right seat with the then Executive Officer (XO) who was a CDR or O-5. I was a new LT/O-3 and we were scheduled for a cat/trap/cat, switch and then night CQ for me. This means we were flying out to the aircraft carrier at night, the XO would get a trap, we would launch and I would night CQ as I needed 2 traps and 2 touch-n-go's as I recall. It was winter time and the weather was not great in the whiskey areas off the coast of San Diego.
A little background on the XO...he was a former SH-3 Sea King pilot who had transitioned to E-2C Hawkeye's and now C-2A Greyhounds. To be honest, he was considered a sub-par aviator and leader. However, he did not see that, he saw himself as a top gun, could do no wrong flyer. Ask anyone who flew with "Hatch"...well, that was the callsign he gave himself. We all called him by what others gave him, "Beef-dart." He was a bad pilot, bad aviator who got to where he was because of what he did, screw people from behind. He wanted 4000 hours and he would often add up to an hour of flight time on flights. I know this as I saw. He was a weasel IMO. He was known for confusing callsigns, following directions of other aircraft, etc.
So on this night, we are at Angels 6.5 (6,500'), heading out to the boat. Along with us is an entire airwing, Tomcats, Hornets, Vikings, Prowlers and an E-2 heading to marshall on this dark night. We check in with strike (100 miles out) and then marshall (50 miles out) and marshall reads us our holding instructions. We were to marshall (hold) on the 180 @ 21 Angels 6. At the time we get our marshalling instructions, an E-2 Hawkeye, callsign "King" is getting vectoring instructions down to 1200', along with a few jets. Of course, "Beef-dart" hear's King 604, descend and maintain Angels 1.2, heading XXX. Afterall, our callsign of "Password 30" is so freaking similar. So he starts down even after I've just read him the marshalling instructions. He tells me we are on vectors. I keep quiet for about 30 seconds and repeat the marshalling instructions. He forcefully now tells me we are on vectors. I don't fear flying into the water but a mid-air as it's ass crack dark, no horizon and Strike is not known for excellent air traffic control capabilities. I let it go another minute and tell him "sir, we are to marshall, etc, etc" and I he explodes on me, telling me to shut the f' up, we are on vectors. I explain in a calm manner that we are not and we need to climb to altitude now and call marshall again for confirmation. As he starts in on me, Strike finally comes up and asks what we are doing, we are now descending below Angels 3. They sternly tell us to climb immediately for marshall and repeat the instructions.
Beef-dart starts in with the excuses immediately, never apologized, never admits a wrong doing. Afterall, he is an aviator with 4000 hours, granted, the last few hundred are BS but he is a top gun pilot. With another pilot not so long after, he almost got violated for veering off course while listening to instructions for a Southwest jet. I flew an FCF B flight with him, he in the right seat and he skipped over a very important piece of info, to swith rudder from 2 degrees to 20 during single engine flight. We almost departed. He flew into Class B airspace without permission from the boat, I think he may have been violated on that one. He never stuck his neck out for any one person in his squadron, he could lead children to the bathroom and IMO, he survivied his "4000" hours thanks to luck and decent co-pilots.