Anyone doing this?

[Edward]

Bringing my fiancée and daughter with me is not an option for us for many reasons (school, good career, house, etc). It will probably be the longest 3 months of my life, but we both agree that it is for the best. We believe that the few month sacrifice apart is definitely worth the return of a great career.

I do want to mention though, that if it were possible to bring them, I would. This is a big step in my life and having family there with me would make it much easier. If people are worried that their family will be a distraction during the academy, what will they do when they go to their facility and continue training? From what I hear, OTJ training is more difficult/stressful than OKC...where will you send your family then so you can concentrate?

 

[Sunburn]

... From what I hear, OTJ training is more difficult/stressful than OKC...where will you send your family then so you can concentrate?

Very good point Edward!

 

[esw2005]

The thing is, I have talked to some people in OKC and they say that there are a lot of guys that argue "no time for family" yet they have time toparty and get drunk on the weekends.quote]



Lets play Family Feud!!!

What do you want to do while in OKC?

Answers:
not wash out (79)
meet new friends (11)
party on the weekends after studying(10)
see the family (0)

 

[csavage]

Assuming I get to go, I will not take my husband and 4 year old son. My husband is well established in his career and there would be no way he could take off for that long. We have a mortgage and 2 cars pymts so will have to stay here and man the fort My son in my rock, but I know in the long run it will be beneficial for my family.

So I guess what I am saying is that...I think it just depends because everyone's situation is different. I think you have to evaluate your own situation and make a decision that is right for you and your family.

 

[wve_iii]

My wife will most likely be there too. She has some tech ops classes, Mark 20 ILS and something else. But since we both have school we have to let my parents watch our son for 3-4 months in IN. That sux. But well try to make the most of it. It will almost be like going to college except not having to work nights and weekends and not having to pay tuition.

 

[ATCproMatt]

Puleeze...ya'll are like "3 months is nothing because we'll be together forever." Reality check...you know you're gonna get drunk and hook up with some fat chick.
Also, you know she's gonna get lonely(unless she has kids then she'll get upset AND lonely) in either case, she'll go out with her girlfriends, they'll get drunk, and she'll have a few side affairs. You'll both probably stick together for a good year before either 1) she admits these to you, 2) you find out, 3) she gets ticked off because your RDO are on Tues/Wed and you're training too much, and you're working overtime trying to learn everything, in which case she'll get pissed that your schedules don't work and she never has alone time with you (or you don't help with the kids), in which case, she'll AGAIN go have an affair. All-in-all, why bother?

Seriously. Stop with this lame "I can't leave my 6month girlfriend for 3 months because I love her" BS. OKC is the LEAST of your problems. Put your relationship on hold for life. First there's OKC, then OJT, then IF you become a CPC you're still working odd shifts every week and crazy times. All your girlfriends are gonna leave you.

You have a slightly better chance if you've already got kids and a marriage in the loop now. If you've got just a girlfriend, give up. Maybe you'll meet a hot ATC female.

 

[Sunburn]

Puleeze...ya'll are like "3 months is nothing because we'll be together forever." Reality check...you know you're gonna get drunk and hook up with some fat chick.
Also, you know she's gonna get lonely(unless she has kids then she'll get upset AND lonely) in either case, she'll go out with her girlfriends, they'll get drunk, and she'll have a few side affairs. You'll both probably stick together for a good year before either 1) she admits these to you, 2) you find out, 3) she gets ticked off because your RDO are on Tues/Wed and you're training too much, and you're working overtime trying to learn everything, in which case she'll get pissed that your schedules don't work and she never has alone time with you (or you don't help with the kids), in which case, she'll AGAIN go have an affair. All-in-all, why bother?

Seriously. Stop with this lame "I can't leave my 6month girlfriend for 3 months because I love her" BS. OKC is the LEAST of your problems. Put your relationship on hold for life. First there's OKC, then OJT, then IF you become a CPC you're still working odd shifts every week and crazy times. All your girlfriends are gonna leave you.

You have a slightly better chance if you've already got kids and a marriage in the loop now. If you've got just a girlfriend, give up. Maybe you'll meet a hot ATC female.

Not all of us are like you, some of us have.... what are those things called.... Morals! So, you go to OKC and you party on the weekend, and I will stay in and I will study with my girlfriend and "de-stress" sometimes. While you are out getting drunk and trying to remember the difference between a VOR, a VORTAC, a TACAN, a VOR with DME, and a NDB and how to navigate using them.

 

[justme62]

Well, if/when I get down to OKC I will not be taking my husband, son, or dogs with me. Husband will be "over there"/deployed and I know I will not have the right resources to take care of my son while in OKC (such as childcare at night if I am in night classes) SO he and the dogs will go to live with my sister while I'm in OKC. I know he will get the attention and care he deserves while living with my sister and nephew.

I also know that I will be able to concentrate on studying a lot better if I am alone than having to worry about tending to a two/three year old, finding the proper daycare/nanny, and taking care of a couple of dogs while going through school.

Separations are something my family is very used to by now and three months is a drop in the bucket compared so some of the deployments we have gone through.

Sure, some people may go there and party and get drunk in their off time, but there are plenty of us that actually take it seriously and know that failing is not an option because we have families and understand our responsibilities to them.

 

[K-Dog]

Wow, talk about opposite sides of the spectrum on the morals issue. I hope I don't wind up working with the people who are first to step out on their wives and girlfriends. That just tells me that whenever anything goes down they are gonna be the ones to throw you under the bus first. Hey maybe we will get lucky and they will accidentaly miss class a couple times from their partying and get thrown out of OKC anyway?

 

[BoomerSooner77]

 

[gimpfest]

Wow, things really got interesting in here. I was hoping for some varied opinions and got everything from "just get drunk and collect STDs" to "it wont work and your wife will have multiple affairs".

Unfortunately, my family just can't come with. My wife has to stay here with the kids, because without her second income we would lose our house. I suppose bringing the dog with is an option, at least then I know SHE is not sleeping around.

I just wanted to know if I was the only father/mother "of the year" leaving my children behind, and wanted to see how it was working for others. My wife's family has already started to hint that they think I am about to do a really horrible thing.

thank you all for your opinions - hopefully we will share a six pack together sometime in the future (but not an STD)

 

[Sunburn]

Wow, things really got interesting in here. I was hoping for some varied opinions and got everything from "just get drunk and collect STDs" to "it wont work and your wife will have multiple affairs".

Unfortunately, my family just can't come with. My wife has to stay here with the kids, because without her second income we would lose our house. I suppose bringing the dog with is an option, at least then I know SHE is not sleeping around.

I just wanted to know if I was the only father/mother "of the year" leaving my children behind, and wanted to see how it was working for others. My wife's family has already started to hint that they think I am about to do a really horrible thing.

thank you all for your opinions - hopefully we will share a six pack together sometime in the future (but not an STD)

Honestly Gimp, it is just how much you trust your wife, if you know your wife will not cheat on you, then piece of cake it will be hard but a necessary "evil", if you are going there to study and actually graduate, great you won't have to worry about it, and I'll share a 6 pack with you as we study. But no, you will not be alone there will be others that just can't bring their loved ones. Do to reason outside our control my girlfriend will be coming with me, luckily we do not have any debts or really anything that can't be handled in OKC.

 

[Wyopoke79]

My wife's family has already started to hint that they think I am about to do a really horrible thing.

Your wife needs to understand that this job will hopefully improve your family. I was 8 years old when my dad left for OKC. Its unreal, but I really do remember him going. I remember coming out there with my mom for the last month that he was there. I remember sitting off the end of a runway watching planes come in and out while he identified them. I remember him studying with people in his class....I remember the pool at the apartment complex we were in.. I dont remember the first 2 months he was there.

I'm 29 now....and you know what I remember most... The life he provided me with his hard work....and for that I will always be greatful. Do whats best for your family in the long run... 3 months isnt squat..when you consider that you will have a 25 year career in the government with one hell of a retirement and benifits...But if 3 months will tear you guys up....then...I dont know what to tell you.

good luck

ps....you know what is a long time....100 years without a world series...stupid cubs.

 

[gimpfest]

Honestly Gimp, it is just how much you trust your wife, if you know your wife will not cheat on you,
Not a concern, really

then piece of cake it will be hard but a necessary "evil", if you are going there to study and actually graduate,

That is the plan - got kids to feed, right!

great you won't have to worry about it,



and I'll share a 6 pack with you as we study.

Looking forward to it -

 

[gimpfest]

Your wife needs to understand that this job will hopefully improve your family. No, she does understand....

I'm 29 now....and you know what I remember most... The life he provided me with his hard work....and for that I will always be greatful. Do whats best for your family in the long run... 3 months isnt squat..when you consider that you will have a 25 year career in the government with one hell of a retirement and benifits...But if 3 months will tear you guys up....then...I dont know what to tell you.

THIS is a cool story- it does put things into perspective

good luck

ps....you know what is a long time....100 years without a world series...stupid cubs.

Big lead in the central, could be this year.....

 

[teetee]

Don't feel guilty and ignore your wife's family. You are providing for your family, which is your job. When you start going to your wife's family asking for help providing for your family, they then have a say, and even then a small one! You could always be snide and ask them to pay for everything your wife is for the 3 months in OKC plus the time it took for her to find a new job once back so she can come with you! You are not a horrible father for trying to improve your situation for your family. If anything, that makes you a better father. If you and your wife feel good about this then it is right for your family and that is all that matters. When you enter the secret service, you have to leave your family for 3 months and you don't even have the option of taking them with you! My husband applied and almost had the job until he decided that $30k/year would do NOTHING in the D.C. area and he better pass the opportunity up.

 

[MrFent]

Luckily, my wife's family lives in Oklahoma, about 75 minutes from OKC. So she & our two daughters are going to move in with them while I'm in OKC. I will get to see them on the weekends. We're going to be shutting down all of our utilities at home, & just be paying the morgage. Shouldn't be a problem if I can get cheap enough housing in OKC with the per diem. Still it's going to be aweful only seeing them once a week. I feel bad for those who are going to go without for the whole 3 months. It'll all be worth it in the end. DON'T WASH OUT.

 

[K-Dog]

I don't want to leave my wife at home for 3 months, but you gotta do it. And if my wife's family said anything about it I would just let them know that unless they were going to pay my bills and fund my retirement for the next 25 years then they should keep their mouths shut.

My other career choice is to go to work for the highway patrol. They have a 7 month academy and it is in Northern Cal. I am in Southern Cal, so N. Cal might as well be Oklahoma. You still aren't going to drive home on the weekends.

3 months sounds bad and may be no fun, but think about the soldiers in Iraq that leave their families for a year at a time.

If you have any morals at all and your relationship is fine now 3 months really won't be a problem.

 

[csavage]

I don't want to leave my wife at home for 3 months, but you gotta do it. And if my wife's family said anything about it I would just let them know that unless they were going to pay my bills and fund my retirement for the next 25 years then they should keep their mouths shut.

My other career choice is to go to work for the highway patrol. They have a 7 month academy and it is in Northern Cal. I am in Southern Cal, so N. Cal might as well be Oklahoma. You still aren't going to drive home on the weekends.

3 months sounds bad and may be no fun, but think about the soldiers in Iraq that leave their families for a year at a time.

If you have any morals at all and your relationship is fine now 3 months really won't be a problem.

I completely agree!

 

[AFTOFAAATC]

Puleeze...ya'll are like "3 months is nothing because we'll be together forever." Reality check...you know you're gonna get drunk and hook up with some fat chick.
Also, you know she's gonna get lonely(unless she has kids then she'll get upset AND lonely) in either case, she'll go out with her girlfriends, they'll get drunk, and she'll have a few side affairs. You'll both probably stick together for a good year before either 1) she admits these to you, 2) you find out, 3) she gets ticked off because your RDO are on Tues/Wed and you're training too much, and you're working overtime trying to learn everything, in which case she'll get pissed that your schedules don't work and she never has alone time with you (or you don't help with the kids), in which case, she'll AGAIN go have an affair. All-in-all, why bother?

Seriously. Stop with this lame "I can't leave my 6month girlfriend for 3 months because I love her" BS. OKC is the LEAST of your problems. Put your relationship on hold for life. First there's OKC, then OJT, then IF you become a CPC you're still working odd shifts every week and crazy times. All your girlfriends are gonna leave you.

You have a slightly better chance if you've already got kids and a marriage in the loop now. If you've got just a girlfriend, give up. Maybe you'll meet a hot ATC female.

What an ignorant and retarded thing to say. If you are immature and can't exhibit some self control then yeah you will probably have an affair. You can be objective about it all you want but it is a subjective issue.