Funny/Interesting things heard on the radio.

BenWlson

BenWlson

Well-Known Member
Saw this topic on another inferior forum, and it looked like a good idea.

What funny and/or interesting things have you heard on the radio?

I heard this about 10 years ago on tower frequency at Dupage Airport in West Chicago, IL.

Pilot: (Thick southern accent) "Tower, Cessna XXX, 10 miles to the south inbound fer landin"
ATC: "Cessna XXX, do you have information Mike?"
Pilot: "Nah, Mike couldn't make it this time, he was sick, but I got George here with me."


Woohoo! 100 posts!
 
BenWlson said:
Saw this topic on another inferior forum, and it looked like a good idea.

What funny and/or interesting things have you heard on the radio?

I heard this about 10 years ago on tower frequency at Dupage Airport in West Chicago, IL.

Pilot: (Thick southern accent) "Tower, Cessna XXX, 10 miles to the south inbound fer landin"
ATC: "Cessna XXX, do you have information Mike?"
Pilot: "Nah, Mike couldn't make it this time, he was sick, but I got George here with me."
Click to expand...


If that is true, that is hilarious!
 
Heard over the summer somewhere over the middle of the country at FL390.

Southwest female pilot: Center, short cut for southwest 5764?
silence.......
Crusty Old Male Voice: Lady.................your whole lifes been a short cut!
Silence.........................................................................
 
At 3 a.m. one morning a few years ago while cruising over eastern Washington...

The radio had been dead silent for about 10 minutes.

American 123: Seattle Center, this is American 123.

SEA CTR: American 123, Seattle Center, go ahead.

American 123: We need a six letter word for a city in Illinois, starts with the letter "M".

[ten second pause]

SEA CTR: Hmm...try..."Moline."

[another brief pause]

American 123: That works, thanks.



Also heard this one on a nice Sunday morning a few weeks ago....

Cherokee 234: [in a shaky student pilot voice that sounded like a teenage girl] Approach, Cherokee 234, umm, we'd like to climb up to five thousand five hundred...can we get permission?

Approach: [in the goofiest, cheeziest, most excited, most sarcastic voice I've ever heard a controller use] Cherokee 234, you'd like FIVE thousand FIVE hundred?! That's my FAAAAAVORITE! CLIMB and maintain five thousand five hundred.
 
Ahh DPA...
After working line service there for 7.5 years I heard many a nut que up when they ought not have. This incident happened one slow day about two and a half years ago. The line service guys are all in the "dome" (a super nifty all glass line shack) filling out service logs and completing our morning checklists... (a.k.a reading news papers and sleeping.)

I can't exactly quote the transmissions but to paraphrase:

Green pilot: "Dupage Tower this is Cessna ***, do you know where I am?"

Usually somebody VFR is just having trouble picking out the field coming in from the west or the south. They are asked to ident. then a landmark like Fermi lab or the Fox River is given along with a rough heading. For some reason all the usual pro controller stuff didn't work, Hmmm. Well this dude missed the airport all together on the north side and continued EAST! For those not familiar with the area, DPA is about 32 miles west of Chicago. Guess what other airport(s) are on the west side of Chicago?

Tower: "Cessna *** Dupage, what can you see around you?"

Green pilot: "Well I don't know if this helps but I can see a 747 on the runway below me." :drool:GASP!

The controller never looked at the airspace over ORD (well to the east of DPA) because most 'lost' pilots are students returning from the farm country to the west of DPA. The entire line service erupted around the scanner shouting obscenities and laughing. I was actually terrified by the thought of all the ##### that was about to rain down on this poor turkey.

If this thread takes off for you, I'll rattle off a few more gems...
 
Oh the funny things heard around GFK:

A student pilot tried to skip the outer reporting point (East Ponds) and head stright for the inner reporting point (lagoon):

ATC: Green XX enter at East Ponds
Green XX: Enter at East Ponds

a few minutes later as he was at lagoon...

Green XX: Green XX at lagoon, can I switch to tower?
ATC: Green XX, did you go to East Ponds?
Green XX: Sure did
ATC: You know we have Radar right?

On a seperate occasion a foreign student was flying IFR and the controller was having a hard time getting through to him:

ATC: Sioux XX, cleared to "fix", hold as published, cleared VOR approach, after completion of the low approach proceed direct GFK.
Sioux XX: Proceed direct GFK
ATC: Proceed after the low approach, can you read back the clearance please?
Sioux XX: Direct GFK
ATC: Negative Sioux XX, cleared to "fix", hold as published, cleared VOR approach, THEN after completion of the low approach proceed direct GFK.
Sioux XX: We will proceed direct GFK
ATC: That's enough, put your instructor on please.
 
Here's one from my days in bethel alaska. There was a pilot that flew for another 135 op that we called the *kamikaze, he got the nickname for two reasons, one he was of asian descent and spoke with a heavy asian accent, and two he was one of the craziest/worst pilots I ever saw flying. So this guy is flying a C207 VFR only stuff and out in Bethel there are 2-4 Alaska Airlines flights per day. When they come in the tower pretty much just clears out the vfr traffic until alaska is on the ground, so I am hanging just outside the class D surface area and hear Alaska 123 on 10 mile final and the rest proceeds like this:

Bethel Tower: *kamikaze123 make a right turn, break of final, traffic is a boeing 737 6oclock and 4 miles

*Kamikaze123: wookking fo twaffic
Bethel Tower: traffic is at your 6oclock and 3 miles now. Turn right and break off final
*Kamikaze123: Stiwl wooking fo twaffic
Bethel tower: traffic you're looking for is just about to run up your A$$ turn right immediatley
*Kamikaze123: rowjoe wiwco wight tuwn twaffic insight.

*hopefully this doesn't offend anyone, real names of operator not used to protect the innocent and the temporarily insane
 
I was recently heading back from a long cross country. We had taken 6 of our Seminoles to New Orleans for our Swiss contract students.

We were on the way back home, and we had decided that it would be a good idea to order pizza ahead of time, so when we landed at we could have lunch at our fuel stop. So enroute I try calling the FBO on their unicom frequency.

After several calls I got no response. I thought maybe the unicom frequency had changed and hadn't been republished. I attempted to call FSS in the area. No response there either! Hrm. Flight Watch is the next best thing I suppose.

After getting ahold of flight watch I asked for the published frequency they had, and it matched what I had. Well that's no good. I've got 5 airplanes behind me and 18 people that are counting on ME to have hot pizza waiting...

"Flight Watch...UH, I've got a really strange request..."

"...Go ahead..."

"Will you order me six pizzas, half cheese and half pepperoni?.."

"...(laughing)...that IS a strange request for flight watch..."

I gave him the FBO's phone number and he called them for me!
 
While on one of my first solo's in the circuit I was on short final (in a C-152), when the plane at the hold short line radio'd:

"Lining up behind the flexible wings behind"

A hint for not having a stable approach perhaps?:crazy:
 
newty said:
Here's one from my days in bethel alaska. There was a pilot that flew for another 135 op that we called the *kamikaze, he got the nickname for two reasons, one he was of asian descent and spoke with a heavy asian accent, and two he was one of the craziest/worst pilots I ever saw flying. So this guy is flying a C207 VFR only stuff and out in Bethel there are 2-4 Alaska Airlines flights per day. When they come in the tower pretty much just clears out the vfr traffic until alaska is on the ground, so I am hanging just outside the class D surface area and hear Alaska 123 on 10 mile final and the rest proceeds like this:

Bethel Tower: *kamikaze123 make a right turn, break of final, traffic is a boeing 737 6oclock and 4 miles

*Kamikaze123: wookking fo twaffic
Bethel Tower: traffic is at your 6oclock and 3 miles now. Turn right and break off final
*Kamikaze123: Stiwl wooking fo twaffic
Bethel tower: traffic you're looking for is just about to run up your A$$ turn right immediatley
*Kamikaze123: rowjoe wiwco wight tuwn twaffic insight.

*hopefully this doesn't offend anyone, real names of operator not used to protect the innocent and the temporarily insane
Click to expand...

Why is this one extremely funny to me? I couldnt contain myself here at my desk!
I
 
newty said:
Here's one from my days in bethel alaska. There was a pilot that flew for another 135 op that we called the *kamikaze, he got the nickname for two reasons, one he was of asian descent and spoke with a heavy asian accent, and two he was one of the craziest/worst pilots I ever saw flying. So this guy is flying a C207 VFR only stuff and out in Bethel there are 2-4 Alaska Airlines flights per day. When they come in the tower pretty much just clears out the vfr traffic until alaska is on the ground, so I am hanging just outside the class D surface area and hear Alaska 123 on 10 mile final and the rest proceeds like this:

Bethel Tower: *kamikaze123 make a right turn, break of final, traffic is a boeing 737 6oclock and 4 miles

*Kamikaze123: wookking fo twaffic
Bethel Tower: traffic is at your 6oclock and 3 miles now. Turn right and break off final
*Kamikaze123: Stiwl wooking fo twaffic
Bethel tower: traffic you're looking for is just about to run up your A$$ turn right immediatley
*Kamikaze123: rowjoe wiwco wight tuwn twaffic insight.

*hopefully this doesn't offend anyone, real names of operator not used to protect the innocent and the temporarily insane
Click to expand...

For some reason, this reads like Elmer Fudd...lol
 
on my xc solo, i was in a 152 and I got real bored, so I decided to climb as high as I could... in like half an hour, i was at 12,500 lol

I contacted miami center and went 'miami center, cessna 123 is at 12,500, by PHK, like to get flight following'

she goes 'say type'

so I said Cessna 152...

she goes 'HOW DID YOU GET UP THERE!?' her voice was the funniest haha, i was crusing along at like 70 indicated haha.

that was my funny story of the day

on sat, i asked center what my GS was. center goes 'i see you at 98'

I said 'ALRIGHT! almost mach 1 there! you want me to slow down for spacing?' he replied with a laugh :p
 
One of the guys that flies out of my airport (WHP) is the voice at the end of game shows that says " Louie Anderson's Wardrobe is provided by xxx in Beautiful Beverly Hills!" and that sorta stuff.

Funny to hear him calling up the tower occasionally in his game show voice.
 
I heard this while taxing in at the end of a four day in Newark. We were hunkering down Alpha behind a Kalitta 747.

Ground: "Connie 1234 taxi alpha to the ramp have a good night"
*15 seconds go by*

Ground: "Connie 1234, it looks like there's more smoke than normal coming out of number 4"

Connie 1234: "Standby one sir

*about 10 seconds go by*

Connie 1234: "Yeah sir could you roll the trucks please?"
 
Continental 111 is a B-757-200.



NY approach: Continental 111 heavy, err, medium, five thousand.

CAL111: Down to five thousand Continental 111 medium.
 
heard last week while listening to LAS Approach control:

LAS: cactus 123, cleared down to 12000

cactus 123: cactus 123 leaving 15000 for 12000

....couple minutes pass....

cactus 123: LAS, just an fyi we had some moderate turb all the way through 13000

LAS: thanks cactus 123.....

cactus 123: (with stuck mic) ladies and gents, we apoligize for the bumps, it has been a rough ride tonight. try as we may, sometimes we cannot get around the bumps. thanks for flying with AW tonight. we'll be on the ground soon.

LAS: (with some chuckles in the background) cactus123, thanks for the info, but it is actually pretty smooth in here tonight. :D

cactus 123: oops, 10 years and it finally happens....
 
Me flying into VGT asking if I was number 1 for landing.

Me "North Vegas tower, is amflight 121 number 1?"
Tower "Amflight 121, you're always number 1 in our hearts. Cleared to land.":)
 
I heard this once on Norcal Approach:

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable
to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our
nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I,
education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the
Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they
should, uhhh, our education over here in the US should
help the US, uh, should help South Africa, it should
help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be
able to build up our future, for us."
 
cfii2007 said:
I heard this once on Norcal Approach:

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable
to do so because, uhmmm, some people out there in our
nation don't have maps and uh, I believe that our, I,
education like such as uh, South Africa, and uh, the
Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that they
should, uhhh, our education over here in the US should
help the US, uh, should help South Africa, it should
help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be
able to build up our future, for us."
Click to expand...

I don't know how many people will get this one (her 15 mins of fame is over), but I thought it was hilarious!
 
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