Best Way to Pay for a Large Purchase?

z987k said:
Oh god. That's got to be the worst investment ever. Setting the whole it's a woman/divorce whatever thing aside. You're paying thousands of dollars for one of the most common elements on the planet. And I don't just mean carbon. Diamonds are intrinsically worthless. The gold is worth something, and the stone cutter's time is worth something, but the resale value is roughly $0. Diamonds have no value at all.

In fact, here's a snarky smartass video about it. Nothing he says isn't true.

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As most things in a relationship you don't do them out of logic or financial savvy.


Il admit I bought my wife a fat diamond. Why? Because she wanted it and I haven't regretted the decision once.
 
If it is an engagement ring you're considering, look online. Seriously. I bet I saved 50% buying my wife's ring online. There's absolutely no way I would ever consider spending $7k on a ring.
 
Groundpounder said:
Spending $7000 to $10000 on a wedding ring when you are pretty much living paycheck to paycheck is one of the most foolish things I've heard in a very long time. If she "needs" a ring that expensive when she knows how much (little?) you make, you're in for a hell of a ride.....
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It's not what she wants. It's what I want to spend if I can. It's all about the image man. Silly yes, but $10k is still less than 1/3 of what her sister got from her fiancé. So I'm the poor schmuck of the family.
 
SpiceWeasel said:
It's not what she wants. It's what I want to spend if I can. It's all about the image man. Silly yes, but $10k is still less than 1/3 of what her sister got from her fiancé. So I'm the poor schmuck of the family.
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Look man, it's awesome that you want to spoil her with a big rock, but have a little reality check. A way better way to spoil her is to make the start of your marriage easy by not having a financial crisis caused by overspending right away.
Oh, and the second you start trying to live up to the way other members of her family (eg, sister) do things is the second your relationship is doomed. I think @Derg wrote about it pretty at length in the vacation thread, but the whole marriage thing is about starting your own life together and if it doesn't match what her BIL provides with his investment banker salary, tell him to "KMBA" because you're on the couch making sexy time with your gal on long-call reserve while he's working 80 hours a week in a suit and tie saying "hi sweetie, bye sweetie" in between business trips. Or something like that.
 
SpiceWeasel said:
It's not what she wants. It's what I want to spend if I can. It's all about the image man. Silly yes, but $10k is still less than 1/3 of what her sister got from her fiancé. So I'm the poor schmuck of the family.
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Who gives a crap what her sister got? Who cares that you are poor? If any of your relationship is being decided on how much you make, or how much you spend, you're screwed. If I lost my job and couldn't work for whatever reason, and all I could afford is a cardboard box under a bridge, my wife would be right there with me.
 
Groundpounder said:
Who gives a crap what her sister got? Who cares that you are poor? If any of your relationship is being decided on how much you make, or how much you spend, you're screwed. If I lost my job and couldn't work for whatever reason, and all I could afford is a cardboard box under a bridge, my wife would be right there with me.
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This. Being married is just about "love". If your spouse isn't the person you would want to have your back in a knife fight in Tokyo. You married the wrong person.
 
Well I want to clear up this misconception: none of the monetary aspect is something that she cares about.

I am the one in the relationship who expects a high QOL and that QOL is only made with money.
 
Groundpounder said:
That is very sad. I hope you never run into financial hardship in your life.

I'm not going to say money isn't important, but you shouldn't base your life around it.
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Money is the only important thing. Financial hardship is living paycheck to paycheck. I didn't get into flying to do that.

All I know in life so far since I've left home (13 years ago), is financial hardship.

The fact that I'm almost 10 years into a career and didn't get a job where I could make over $4000 a month gross until last year is just terrible.

If I could go back and do it again, I would have gone to UCSB like my buddy. He made $40k his first 2 years out of college before hitting pay dirt.

The mistake I made was thinking that laboring for my money was a thing to do. The way to make money in the modern world is to have people work for you.
 
SpiceWeasel said:
Money is the only important thing. Financial hardship is living paycheck to paycheck. I didn't get into flying to do that.

All I know in life so far since I've left home (13 years ago), is financial hardship.

The fact that I'm almost 10 years into a career and didn't get a job where I could make over $4000 a month gross until last year is just terrible.

If I could go back and do it again, I would have gone to UCSB like my buddy. He made $40k his first 2 years out of college before hitting pay dirt.

The mistake I made was thinking that laboring for my money was a thing to do. The way to make money in the modern world is to have people work for you.
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To each their own.....good luck.
 
Careful financial decisions are how you avoid financial hardship. With that kind of attitude, you'll still be living paycheck to paycheck when you hit 10k a month.

Buy a fake rock, and tell her you care about your future together too much to waste money on the real thing.
 
Dugie8 said:
This. Being married is just about "love".
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SpiceWeasel said:
Money is the only important thing.
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This is the smartest thing you've ever said. :D

Now, keep this thought in mind when your idiot emotions tell you to waste $10k on a ring.

Oh, one last thing: if your soon-to-be brother-in-law spent $30k on a ring, then he's the schmuck, not you.
 
dasleben said:
That's really no way to live. I hope you change your mind on this sooner or later.
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As @Groundpounder said, "to each their own". Why would I change my mind - I grew up in Orange County.

I don't know where the peak is - but I do know that being able to buy something without having to do the above math is where I want to be. Having to lord over a bank account just to see if you're in the proper shape to buy something is no way to live.

You showing up to Vegas tells me you like to do fun things too. I'm still paying for Vegas. I would like to be secure enough where a 3-day weekend with my friends isn't something I have to say no to. By the way, this is my advance notification that I won't be attending NJC '15.
 
ATN_Pilot said:
Oh, one last thing: if your soon-to-be brother-in-law spent $30k on a ring, then he's the schmuck, not you.
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And his wife is super-duper-mile-high freakin' maintenance.

My sis-in-law spent (or he parents did) more on her dress than we spent on our wedding. The ring I gave my wife wasn't big, but there isn't another like it in the world. I took a setting, changed the metal and a little here and there, and got a nice little rock for it. It's not big and flashy, but it is from the heart. Nobody ever asked "How much?"
 
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