Best Way to Pay for a Large Purchase?

deadstick said:
And his wife is super-duper-mile-high freakin' maintenance.

My sis-in-law spent (or he parents did) more on her dress than we spent on our wedding. The ring I gave my wife wasn't big, but there isn't another like it in the world. I took a setting, changed the metal and a little here and there, and got a nice little rock for it. It's not big and flashy, but it is from the heart. Nobody ever asked "How much?"
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She's not really high MX... They are both hot-shot $400/hr lawyers barely out of law school. They can afford $30k, I can't. I can barely afford $5k.
 
SpiceWeasel said:
The fact that I'm almost 10 years into a career and didn't get a job where I could make over $4000 a month gross until last year is just terrible.
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Come on. Nobody who has enters this industry in the last decade should be caught off guard by the low QOL and compensation.
 
deadstick said:
Come on. Nobody who has enters this industry in the last decade should be caught off guard by the low QOL and compensation.
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Doesn't make it right. You take your services in other industries to competing companies when they low ball compensation. In the last 10 years, I was already highly committed to it already.
 
SpiceWeasel said:
She's not really high MX... They are both hot-shot $400/hr lawyers barely out of law school. They can afford $30k, I can't. I can barely afford $5k.
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Your fiancé to be's family should factor almost zero into your relationship decisions.

It's great if you guys can get along and be just like them, but in the grand scheme of things, it's really not that important. Especially if it's just a piece of jewelry.

I was already head over heels in love with my wife when we were ring shopping. The one she wanted was $900...not the one that was "good enough" but the one she actually wanted. I actually felt that the diamond was a little too small in that one, so I had a bigger one put in without telling her. In the end I think it was a little over $3,000. I did it not because this is some competition, but because I could afford it and I thought it would be a great surprise.

I strongly believe in doing whatever it is that I can in order to make her happy, but (and I don't mean to get too personal or judgmental here) if your fiancé knows your financial situation and would even let you put yourself into that kind of position...you're gonna have challenges.
 
Screaming_Emu said:
Your fiancé to be's family should factor almost zero into your relationship decisions.

It's great if you guys can get along and be just like them, but in the grand scheme of things, it's really not that important. Especially if it's just a piece of jewelry.

I was already head over heels in love with my wife when we were ring shopping. The one she wanted was $900...not the one that was "good enough" but the one she actually wanted. I actually felt that the diamond was a little too small in that one, so I had a bigger one put in without telling her. In the end I think it was a little over $3,000. I did it not because this is some competition, but because I could afford it and I thought it would be a great surprise.

I strongly believe in doing whatever it is that I can in order to make her happy, but (and I don't mean to get too personal or judgmental here) if your fiancé knows your financial situation and would even let you put yourself into that kind of position...you're gonna have challenges.
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She asked me what I was willing to spend . She had to talk me down from $30k. I don't think she cares. But I do. Alas, $5000 seems not quite doable unless the financing is awesome.

I have been pressuring her to get a better job because I don't like the dollar amount her career will bring in.
 
SpiceWeasel said:
As @Groundpounder said, "to each their own". Why would I change my mind - I grew up in Orange County.
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I grew up in SoCal, too. Actually, born in LA, grew up in San Diego. Don't use your upbringing to excuse poor choices.

I'll be honest: I spent 10 years living paycheck to paycheck. Last year though, I made more than I ever have (a solid, upper middle class income), and you know what I learned? It didn't make me any happier. In fact, it was a pretty big let down, since I always expected that once you made a certain amount, life would suddenly be great. Well, it wasn't.

You know what I really learned? What really created happiness was friends, family, being out in nature as much as possible, and simplifying. Lots of people don't really get it (most people think that a fulfilling life is measured by a big house, nice cars, and lots of gadgets), but really step back and watch those people go through life. They're not any happier than anyone else, and in fact, they're often less so. I feel bad for the guy fuming in traffic on his way home from work, aggressively driving his $120,000 BMW. He "made it," but really didn't.

Like I said though, lots of people will tell me I'm wrong, but I'll just say this: Being fulfilled by your life, as it is today, is a choice. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try to find a better job, or better provide for your family; it means that instead of fretting over acquiring things that you think might make you happy in the future, step back and realize that life is happening all around you today.

And that's your moment of zen for today, kids. ;)
 
ATN_Pilot said:
The hell you aren't! I swear, if you waste money on a ring and then don't come to NJC because of money problems, I will kick your ass.
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Well between the money required and the desire to do other things, probably not. Her sister's wedding is October as well. Since she's not in aviation, her schedule is pretty rigid. Think 9-5 can't really be taking more than 2 5 day vacation blocks in a year rigid. We also go to Sweden again, so that's a priority.
 
Don't listen to him, @SpiceWeasel. He's one bad life circumstance that costs some serious cash away from not being so happy, while the rich guy who he thinks isn't so happy won't even by fazed by such a circumstance.

Money = security = happiness.
 
ATN_Pilot said:
Don't listen to him, @SpiceWeasel. He's one bad life circumstance that costs some serious cash away from not being so happy, while the rich guy who he thinks isn't so happy won't even by fazed by such a circumstance.

Money = security = happiness.
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Nah Todd, my life is simple. I could take a bad hit (which I have), and be just fine.

Your brand is toxic, but you'll learn that as you go.
 
SpiceWeasel said:
I have been pressuring her to get a better job because I don't like the dollar amount her career will bring in.
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dasleben said:
Nah Todd, my life is simple. I could take a bad hit (which I have), and be just fine.
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Many have said the same, only to discover otherwise. Imagine having to put a loved one in a nursing home, for example. Prices start at about $2,500/mo for a semi-decent place, up to well over $5k/mo for a nice place. The rich guy doesn't even notice. Cuts the check to put the loved one in the best place money can buy and goes on about his business. The middle class guy struggles to afford the semi-decent place, or worse, puts the loved one in a crappy place because it's all he can afford and worries constantly about the conditions.

Money = security = happiness. Period.
 
SpiceWeasel said:
Well hopefully she will come to her senses @Screaming_Emu.
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We actually ended up doing the opposite. When Amber and I met she was bringing in about as much as I was. We lived comfortably, but it ended up being a pretty miserable situation. She worked Mon-Fri 9-5, I was junior as hell so I was working weekends.

We decided to take a chance and have her take up dog grooming. That didn't bring in as much money, but the hours were more flexible and we were much happier. Then we moved to an area where dog grooming isn't really a thing. She branched out into dog walking and it has gotten even better, despite making even less money.

It's more of a financial struggle than we'd like, but we are much much happier overall now that we see each other. Dog walking has been great because now I can go with her on my days off.

But then again relationships are different for everyone.
 
SpiceWeasel said:
She asked me what I was willing to spend . She had to talk me down from $30k. I don't think she cares. But I do. Alas, $5000 seems not quite doable unless the financing is awesome.

I have been pressuring her to get a better job because I don't like the dollar amount her career will bring in.
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Even if you spent 1/4 of that on a ring, I will choke you.

And not even that autoerotic asphyxiation choke with the safe word and all that. I will straight up choke you until you start seeing sparklies and lost dead relatives, release my grip for a few moments until you almost recover, and tighten my grip again. Then it's time for disco lights and long dead Uncle Pete and Mr. Tinkles the hamster telling you to walk into the light. :)
 
ATN_Pilot said:
Many have said the same, only to discover otherwise. Imagine having to put a loved one in a nursing home, for example. Prices start at about $2,500/mo for a semi-decent place, up to well over $5k/mo for a nice place. The rich guy doesn't even notice. Cuts the check to put the loved one in the best place money can buy and goes on about his business. The middle class guy struggles to afford the semi-decent place, or worse, puts the loved one in a crappy place because it's all he can afford and worries constantly about the conditions.

Money = security = happiness. Period.
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My family is close enough where we could make it all work rather than leaving it to one person to shove someone into a home. That's really the point.

Beyond that, I could lose everything, and life would go on. I have family and friends I could depend on in such a case, but again, I live so well within my means, there's not much that could put me on the street. There's no need to be rich, because I find ways to be happy with the simple things.

And you know, in 2008 when I literally lived in my training hotel with a car packed with all of my belongings sitting outside, I still managed to be happy. My life wasn't over; the person who believes money buys happiness will be much, much worse off.
 
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