How to Annoy your First Officer

Tld said:
I've seen it once. "...I'm retiring in really soon, I'm gonna to miss it sooooo much....mind if I fly it?" (On every leg)

Turns out he'd been saying that the last 10 years. He is now retired, most were not sad to see him go. In my short trip with him, he accomplished most of the above bullet points.
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Don't even get me started on his PAs.
 
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I'm going to second the taking control at high speed. I understand that there are some airplanes that have no directional control from the right seat (e.g. SF340), but most of our airplanes have enough directional control to take the airplane down to 10 kts on ANY landing. When I have guys taking the control from me as we pass 90kts it simply drives me crazy. There is just no reason for it. It also usually results in all sorts of anti skid issues because there isn't really a good way of smoothly transferring brake pressure.

Excellent write up! Especially #5.
 
Dang who have you guys been flying with?? Honestly, I'd rather no one knows if I'm annoyed. It's distracting. Just don't be mean to me or anyone that does not deserve it, especially if it's distracting. I've seen enough ASAPable moments caused by someone h-bent on airing their sudden grievances to encourage me to check myself.
 
Man, some days I worry about our profession.

Reading this thread is one of them.

While we are worried about hurt feelings, someone else is out there attempting to do your job for cheaper. CRM is fine and well, but lets not get carried away trying to analyze our own emotions in the cockpit. Go to work. Work. Be safe. Go home. Enjoy life.
 
Autothrust Blue said:
Takeoff, no blue.
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These days it's "Takeoff, no blue, except signs"

That's been the case since the domestic PED rule came into play. Some planes have been programmed that seatbelt on and PED off will still be all green, no blue in the TO memo. But a majority of ours haven't been fixed yet hence, the "signs" does have blue in it due to the PED being off.
 
Of the list, ive only seen 7. And thats because the CA was bored and wanted to program the box while i do my lunges on the walk around.
 
pierre said:
Getting on the brakes before controls transferred fully or always taking control at relatively high speeds. The first ca I had that told me I had the controls until I was ready to transfer them to him I realized I didn't really know how to bring the speed down to taxi speed because no one had let me do it before
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Agreed,

I brief the FO's I fly with to bring it down to taxi speed and initiate transfer when they are read, but I notice a number of them turn off runway center line and attempt to take high speeds taxi ways at like 40+ knots (we have a 30kt taxi limit and FOQA tracks it), then I end up initiating the transfer because we are going just too fast for the taxiway and with little turn authority. I was an FO for 9+ years, and like letting the FO have some autonomy and letting them turn off as much as able.

I had a CA try to take a high speed at 60 knots while it was wet out and I ended up intervening on the brakes. I mean it says highspeed, but you still need to be at a safe taxi speed for the thing.
 
BEEF SUPREME said:
Have you ever played the dim the PFD game? Just dim the PFD a little bit more than the captain, until no one can actually see the PFD anymore. It was my fave at my last job.
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Haha, on this last trip I caught myself doing this. If the other guy dimmed his PFD, out of habit, I dimmed mine. Maybe he was playing the game and I was the sucker!
 
On the 135 side of the world, captain sits in the FBO while you (the F/O) file & check weather, get the clearance, program the box, check performance data, fuel the plane, preflight, set up the cabin and your ten minutes into this routine when the CA walks out with a cookie and says "why isn't this or that done yet, did you program my iPad??"
 
BlueMoon said:
Agreed,

I brief the FO's I fly with to bring it down to taxi speed and initiate transfer when they are read, but I notice a number of them turn off runway center line and attempt to take high speeds taxi ways at like 40+ knots (we have a 30kt taxi limit and FOQA tracks it), then I end up initiating the transfer because we are going just too fast for the taxiway and with little turn authority. I was an FO for 9+ years, and like letting the FO have some autonomy and letting them turn off as much as able.

I had a CA try to take a high speed at 60 knots while it was wet out and I ended up intervening on the brakes. I mean it says highspeed, but you still need to be at a safe taxi speed for the thing.
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The high speed turn offs are actually designed for up to 60kts.
 
surreal1221 said:
Man, some days I worry about our profession.

Reading this thread is one of them.

While we are worried about hurt feelings, someone else is out there attempting to do your job for cheaper. CRM is fine and well, but lets not get carried away trying to analyze our own emotions in the cockpit. Go to work. Work. Be safe. Go home. Enjoy life.
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Jeez. Pilots bitch, it's what we do. At least this is one of the more productive bitching sessions.
 
Here's a fun one. Get the headsets on and for those of you that talk over the inter-phone, look at the captain and move your lips like you're talking but don't press the transmit button or turn it off randomly. Very subtly turn it on for a word or two and then back off. See how many times you can get him or her to check their plug in connections or convince them it's their headset. I drove a guy crazy once for four days with him thinking his new noise canceling headset was defective.
 
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