To all CFI's: Stupidest student questions.

Taxied by a BE-76 with both main tires blown that had pulled off the runway. I stopped my aircraft and picked up the student and the instructor to give them a ride back to the the flight school. Neither of them were real chatty so later I asked the IP what had happened. He told me the student (*on a commercial MEL checkride...) was doing a short field landing. After touching down, he floored the brakes and pushed the yoke full forward. Before the instructor could react, both mains blew. After coming to a stop, he asked the student about his..."procedure". The student explained he pushed the yoke forward to "maximize the nose wheel braking....". Oops

I thoght only the 727 had those...

None of my students have said anything incredibly stupid...I feel left out :(

Give it time, just give it time...
 
I was getting ready to fly the girlfriend back from dinner last night when she points down under the center of the panel and asks "Why does it say Mike and Jack down there?" "Those are the two guys that built it, they do that at the factory."To be fair she realized it was a misspelling of mic before I could come back with my smartass reply. But I couldn't help myself.

Every time I see "Mike" instead of "Mic" it bothers me. :(
 
Student holding short for a GIV, GIV lands and controller clears student for takeoff, caution wake turbulence
Student says to the instructor : The briefer didn't tell me anything about wake turbulence!
 
Giving a PPL final stage check and I notice the student has chosen a wilderness area as a checkpoint. I ask how are you going to identify when you are over this point? He tells me, "When we fly over that point HUGE birds are going to come and attack our airplane!" I had to leave the room immediately.
 
Giving a PPL final stage check and I notice the student has chosen a wilderness area as a checkpoint. I ask how are you going to identify when you are over this point? He tells me, "When we fly over that point HUGE birds are going to come and attack our airplane!" I had to leave the room immediately.

Lol that kid sounds awesome!
 
Giving a PPL final stage check and I notice the student has chosen a wilderness area as a checkpoint. I ask how are you going to identify when you are over this point? He tells me, "When we fly over that point HUGE birds are going to come and attack our airplane!" I had to leave the room immediately.
You know he was just busting your balls, right?
 
While just crossing the threshold and a King Air was holding short this took place...
Student: " Whoaaaa look at that King Air! So what type of plane do you think I should buy?"
Me: " My controls!"
 
Being that this thread is still going, I'm just going to use it to vent for a minute. I currently have a student, who after 10 hrs of flying, still does not get the following concepts:
1) Pitch, power, trim to level off
2) Back pressure = airspeed decrease, forward pressure = airspeed increase

We did one lesson the other day in which we spent 1 and 1/2 hours leveling off from climbs and then leveling off from descents. He still didn't have it on today's flight. I suppose you might be able to blame me for this, but over 1100 hours of dual given and students including Koreans, Indians, Africans, Europeans, and Americans, I've never had a student this slow.
 
Being that this thread is still going, I'm just going to use it to vent for a minute. I currently have a student, who after 10 hrs of flying, still does not get the following concepts:
1) Pitch, power, trim to level off
2) Back pressure = airspeed decrease, forward pressure = airspeed increase

We did one lesson the other day in which we spent 1 and 1/2 hours leveling off from climbs and then leveling off from descents. He still didn't have it on today's flight. I suppose you might be able to blame me for this, but over 1100 hours of dual given and students including Koreans, Indians, Africans, Europeans, and Americans, I've never had a student this slow.

It happens a lot, you're not alone. Now make this funny!
 
Being that this thread is still going, I'm just going to use it to vent for a minute. I currently have a student, who after 10 hrs of flying, still does not get the following concepts:
1) Pitch, power, trim to level off
2) Back pressure = airspeed decrease, forward pressure = airspeed increase

We did one lesson the other day in which we spent 1 and 1/2 hours leveling off from climbs and then leveling off from descents. He still didn't have it on today's flight. I suppose you might be able to blame me for this, but over 1100 hours of dual given and students including Koreans, Indians, Africans, Europeans, and Americans, I've never had a student this slow.
The problem is you're using the yoke the wrong way and confusing him. He knows that the yoke changes altitude and the throttle changes airspeed.




:sarcasm:
 
Flew with someone else's student in a C-152. This student tells me about how he thought the hand held mic was a PA system and was surprised to hear someone responded to his "Hello... Hello...." while on a cross country.

A co-worker had a student think the "M" in the sex portion of his medical meant medium. He thought he needed it corrected, "because there is no way I'm a medium".
 
Flew with someone else's student in a C-152. This student tells me about how he thought the hand held mic was a PA system and was surprised to hear someone responded to his "Hello... Hello...." while on a cross country.

A co-worker had a student think the "M" in the sex portion of his medical meant medium. He thought he needed it corrected, "because there is no way I'm a medium".
Tell him the 'M' stands for mediocre and the best rating to get is 'F' for Fantastic.
 
Me: we are west of the airport right"
student: right
Me: so what direction do we need to get back to the airport"
student:.................um.....

He couldn't figure it out
 
Me: we are west of the airport right"
student: right
Me: so what direction do we need to get back to the airport"
student:.................um.....

He couldn't figure it out

Sometimes situational awareness is the hardest part to teach...
 
That and trim!

I just take the controls for a moment, hold level flight, and casually add all of the nose down trim I have. Then I'll give them the controls again and when the yoke pulls forward they realize that trim is a good idea.
 
I just take the controls for a moment, hold level flight, and casually add all of the nose down trim I have. Then I'll give them the controls again and when the yoke pulls forward they realize that trim is a good idea.

I don't let my students touch the trim unless their pitch and airspeed are stable. And I also beat them physically.
 
We did one lesson the other day in which we spent 1 and 1/2 hours leveling off from climbs and then leveling off from descents. He still didn't have it on today's flight. I suppose you might be able to blame me for this, but over 1100 hours of dual given and students including Koreans, Indians, Africans, Europeans, and Americans, I've never had a student this slow.

I've been there buddy. After 15 hours I had to start over on lesson 1. While entering slow flight, we change heading 90 degrees, then the student looks at me and asks "was that good?"
 
Stupidest thing a CFI told me was when she was explaining how a compass works. "So where is magnetic north?" I ask. She says "Somewhere up in Canada, I forget where.... there's a lot of iron ore up there." "That's pretty weird, I've never heard of a place that makes all these compasses work, you'd think it'd have a name or be famous or something." I reply. She just says "Yeah..."
 
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