Minuteman
“Dongola”
Fail Boat Nominees?
- Thread starter SeanD
- Start date
Firebird2XC
Well-Known Member
I must admit, there were some Failboat-ish events occurring in the eagle nest this year.
To whom may we send the thank-you note for rendering a certain bathroom so as to appear as if I actually had to hide a hooker's body? The jokes are funny, yes, but goodness.
juxtapilot
Snowflake
I really am not deserving of winboat anything... Have you seen DPApilot's pictures? Good grief that guy's got all the WIN! And he was only there 2 nights! :dunno:
KLB
Well-Known Member
I think so. There were a bunch of us standing on tables!
Rocketman99
Frozen Guppy Manipulator
Doug Taylor's in the picture!
And me too.
And me too.
SpiceWeasel
Tre Kronor
Original? Hardly, lol... I was winner #2, at the very least... and before the Skipper award, there was the Szluka (sp?) award.... hahaa
I'm glad you helped vote me in last year by not showing up, but all I really did was get trashed as well. Funny things happen when you are drunk.
ChasenSFO
hen teaser
I took the pictures. Maybe 10% win 90% fail.
Polar742
All the responsibility none of the authority
The Decision is in....
Well, another highly successful NJC has passed. Rex turns in the crown in style, with a complete 180 from last year.
The judges compiled what little evidence there was this year. Sifting thoroughly through the data as always, with a keen eye on what makes the Failboat Skipper crown such a proud and highly regarded title.
To be a Failboat Skipper, one must act in a manner that would surprise even the most grizzled reality TV executive (actually last year, Mark Burnett was rumored to say "WTF, over?" during the contest). It is not a singular act that elevates one to the position of "Failboat Skipper". The exalted position is achieved through multiple un-aware acts of such a surreal nature that observers often are left wondering if they have just seen a parody or such overt acting that it is incomprehensible that someone would willingly do so.
So, the anecdotes this year were pretty weak.
We had one case of an individual passing out in the bathroom. However, that's a private act, and perhaps one that could have affected this panel on the odd occasion. While being a massive inconvenience to a roomate that needs to "punch a grump", such a private act surely doesn't qualify.
Another wanna be was seen approaching a single lady at NJC in the skyvilla. Now, rolling up in a bathrobe over this individual's normal clothes is a good start. Adding to that, the finest of accessories being Boeing stickers attached to your TShirt made a bit of a case. However a quick departure after being summarily dismissed by the female does not a skipper make.
The odd-ender dropping a foot in the water feature isn't even a consideration. How could it be when the panel members almost accomplished the same feat sober?
Or jumping in the pool fully clothed? Passe`.
Ed Hardy shirt at the job fair? A good start, however it lacked the completeness of a full performance.
...and the popular candidate, Juxta. The judges don't really see a case here. Sure our man has issues regulating the inflow. Don't we all on occasion? The case breaker is that he doesn't fight, doesn't chase down potential mates and get shot down like a clay pigeon, and doesn't really make himself a spectacle. There are really no qualifying attributes.
So, what decisions are the judges left with?
There are only two scenarios the panel could entertain:
First, a group "Failboat" for the horde being far more interested in winning a headset than the women in the pool. Which makes the criteria of being a "WTF" moment, yet the lacks the specific individual failures.
Second, preserving the sanctity of the award.
In the end we find that the exalted position of "Failboat Skipper" is an award to be earned and not given. For that reason, there will be no Failboat Skipper of 2010.
Fear not good citizens, we feel 2011 will bring a new crop of contenders and strong field.
Well, another highly successful NJC has passed. Rex turns in the crown in style, with a complete 180 from last year.
The judges compiled what little evidence there was this year. Sifting thoroughly through the data as always, with a keen eye on what makes the Failboat Skipper crown such a proud and highly regarded title.
To be a Failboat Skipper, one must act in a manner that would surprise even the most grizzled reality TV executive (actually last year, Mark Burnett was rumored to say "WTF, over?" during the contest). It is not a singular act that elevates one to the position of "Failboat Skipper". The exalted position is achieved through multiple un-aware acts of such a surreal nature that observers often are left wondering if they have just seen a parody or such overt acting that it is incomprehensible that someone would willingly do so.
So, the anecdotes this year were pretty weak.
We had one case of an individual passing out in the bathroom. However, that's a private act, and perhaps one that could have affected this panel on the odd occasion. While being a massive inconvenience to a roomate that needs to "punch a grump", such a private act surely doesn't qualify.
Another wanna be was seen approaching a single lady at NJC in the skyvilla. Now, rolling up in a bathrobe over this individual's normal clothes is a good start. Adding to that, the finest of accessories being Boeing stickers attached to your TShirt made a bit of a case. However a quick departure after being summarily dismissed by the female does not a skipper make.
The odd-ender dropping a foot in the water feature isn't even a consideration. How could it be when the panel members almost accomplished the same feat sober?
Or jumping in the pool fully clothed? Passe`.
Ed Hardy shirt at the job fair? A good start, however it lacked the completeness of a full performance.
...and the popular candidate, Juxta. The judges don't really see a case here. Sure our man has issues regulating the inflow. Don't we all on occasion? The case breaker is that he doesn't fight, doesn't chase down potential mates and get shot down like a clay pigeon, and doesn't really make himself a spectacle. There are really no qualifying attributes.
So, what decisions are the judges left with?
There are only two scenarios the panel could entertain:
First, a group "Failboat" for the horde being far more interested in winning a headset than the women in the pool. Which makes the criteria of being a "WTF" moment, yet the lacks the specific individual failures.
Second, preserving the sanctity of the award.
In the end we find that the exalted position of "Failboat Skipper" is an award to be earned and not given. For that reason, there will be no Failboat Skipper of 2010.
Fear not good citizens, we feel 2011 will bring a new crop of contenders and strong field.
Firebird2XC
Well-Known Member
:clap:
Boris Badenov
This is no laughing matter.
More determined than ever to see y'all next year. I will not allow a failboatless NJC/ACE. Nor will I be the much ballyhooed recipient (too old...it's like 32 to be president, but IN REVERSE). But here's a campaign promise that will be kept: I will engender (in one way or another) the existence of a 2011 failboat skipper award. So help me God. Amen.
juxtapilot
Snowflake
I know everybody loves this award and all that, but can we not have this award next year? Everybody's just there to have a good time without having to worry about failing. JC'ers are all winners anyway.
ChasenSFO
hen teaser
I understand this decision. I still think Juxta should have won, but I say this as his roommate who got to witness much more than most. My god, the trip from the Sky Villa to the room was a walk to remember. Then came the challenge of keeping him in the room and making sure he didn't pass out in random doorsteps tucked into the fetal position. This was followed by making sure a drunken body didn't go sailing out of the 17th story window. And no one else heard the R-rated 30 minute drunken lullaby to our friend Mr. Gulley the night before.
While the masses have spoken, you still set FAIL in my book buddy.:beer:
While the masses have spoken, you still set FAIL in my book buddy.:beer:
Bumblebee
Commodore
juxtapilot
Snowflake
tonyw
Well-Known Member
Re: The Decision is in....
Well, crap. I was already pissed that I couldn't make it, and I'd have made sure SOMEONE -- not me -- got the failboat skipper again.
Well, crap. I was already pissed that I couldn't make it, and I'd have made sure SOMEONE -- not me -- got the failboat skipper again.
Maximilian_Jenius
Super User
Is that all... I took the long walk to Jake's pad Tuesday afternoon and after he drinking an entire bottle of Gin (by himself) in like 45 mins. he began serenaded me with songs from the Broadways Wicked and Rent. With the music blaring!
I was like okay.... time to go. I called Howard and he refused to tell me where he was to meet up. He said you went there, you know what it was you deal!
Bastard.
