Civil Air Patrol...what I have learned so far
- Thread starter ozone
- Start date
Screaming_Emu
Well-Known Member
hot!
killbilly
Vocals, Lyrics, Triangle, Washboard, Kittens
<open scene>
Doug Taylor sits comfortably in his office, feet propped up in thousand-dollar Gucci slip-ons, mojito in one hand, terminal emulator into the JC Cray 2 running five-by-five forum spec'ing in the other...
BZZT! BZZT! BZZT!
JC CRAY, SOFT FEMALE VOICE: "You have a forum alert."
DOUG, MUTTERING TO HIMSELF: "Dammit....JC - assign resolution to user Steve C."
JC CRAY: "I'm sorry Doug. I can't do that."
DOUG: "What do you mean? Assign to Steve C. or available moderator!"
JC CRAY: "I cannot comply, Doug. You should know better."
DOUG: "Assess nature of forum anomaly."
JC CRAY: "Personal attacks within the context of aviation discussion. Level 5 content."
DOUG: "Level 5? There is no Level 5 Protocol. Define Level 5."
JC CRAY: "You are not authorized for Level 5. Eyes-Only Access."
DOUG, ROARING: "Emergency Override Authority Alpha, Velveeta, Knuckle, Underwear. Authenticate!"
JC CRAY, PAUSING. "Authenticated. State Request."
DOUG: "Define Level 5, personal attacks, aviation context."
JC CRAY: "Civil Air Patrol Thread."
DOUG SWEARING, SHAKING HEAD: "Kristeeeeeeeee!!! I need more mojito and the Ban Hammer! Stat!"
<end scene>
killbilly
Vocals, Lyrics, Triangle, Washboard, Kittens
How long did that take you to write?!
</end></open>
About ten minutes. I'm bored as hell on a conference call. This is how I amuse myself.
aloft
New Member
Point taken, but I don't wear military uniforms, nor do most other responsible CAP members who don't meet military weight or grooming standards. CAP has a whole stable of CAP-distinctive uniforms for us "fat & fuzzy" folks. The nomex bag I wear is dark blue, not sage green--so are the BDUs I wear from time to time; they make me look more like I'm on a SWAT team than anything military (though the Coast Guard adopted a near-identical BDU uniform after CAP did). The service uniform I wear is a standard white pilot shirt with gray slacks--again, nothing military about it, save for the rank on my shoulders.
In these uniforms, no one but no one is going to mistake me for being a military officer--but more importantly, neither do I. I know CAP has a lot of power-tripping security guard types who get off on putting rank on their collars, light bars on their personal vehicles and Rambo-ing up for a ground search, but there are just as many of the other kind--the quiet professionals who focus on providing our communities with our services in a safe, competent manner. It's really too bad you never hear about those guys in these online bash-fests.
aloft
New Member
Hahahaha....that was awesome.
Understood and appreciated.
Boris Badenov
Fortis Leader
You're suggesting that you're an example of this?
Boris Badenov
Fortis Leader
And not a moment too soon. I'd just point out for the peanut gallery that "professionals", by definition, get paid. And professional soldiers/sailors/Marines are subject to the UCMJ. It's called "the law", you should look it up, it's full of all sorts of unpleasant strictures on what you can and can't do, regardless of whether you've somehow procured a flight suit and some patches.
killbilly
Vocals, Lyrics, Triangle, Washboard, Kittens
Doug Taylor is waist-deep in the mix now. He stands before the big board, pacing back and forth in Hugo Boss argyle socks, watching the 'net nodes as data packets of ire and one-shotting fly through fiber-optic air. Vitriolic data is something he knows. It's what he puts himself on the line for every day, without the thanks of a grateful nation. He is a warrior of propriety, of an exchange of ideas. He is the maestro of a connected symphony, regulating the pulse and beat of information flow, shaping it as it cascades through his fingers like intelligent sand in a time-divided, multiplexed hourglass...
That, and he hates the urine stains on his virtual rug.
DOUG: "JC, re-route power from the broussard field emulators to the main thread node. There's going to be a major influx here before long and we don't want to lock the thread down yet."
JC CRAY: "That's inadvisable, Doug. Creating that sort of field could dampen the overall thread matrix to a point of being un-usable."
DOUG: "We don't have a choice, JC. Execute the order. "
JC CRAY: "Doug, it is beyond my programming to override an authenticated status, but my Restricted Turing overlay allows me to at least question. Remember the GoJet incursion?"
DOUG: "Fair call. I was drunk."
JC CRAY: "We could lose other capacity."
DOUG: "We'll have to take that chance JC. I built you from the ground up, I saved you from DAL. I'm not going to let this petty B.S. take you down the drain."
JC CRAY: "If it happens Doug...will I dream?"
DOUG, SWALLOWS A LUMP IN HIS THROAT AND SIPS THE MOJITO AGAIN: "Of course, JC. All intelligent beings dream."
JC CRAY, MUCH LONGER PAUSE: "Executing broussard field emulation."
The lights go slightly dim as the field shifts, changing its quantum state ever so slightly, isolating the vitriolic data packets to two pockets between nodes, which glow brightly like a nuclear after-flare on the big board....
That, and he hates the urine stains on his virtual rug.
DOUG: "JC, re-route power from the broussard field emulators to the main thread node. There's going to be a major influx here before long and we don't want to lock the thread down yet."
JC CRAY: "That's inadvisable, Doug. Creating that sort of field could dampen the overall thread matrix to a point of being un-usable."
DOUG: "We don't have a choice, JC. Execute the order. "
JC CRAY: "Doug, it is beyond my programming to override an authenticated status, but my Restricted Turing overlay allows me to at least question. Remember the GoJet incursion?"
DOUG: "Fair call. I was drunk."
JC CRAY: "We could lose other capacity."
DOUG: "We'll have to take that chance JC. I built you from the ground up, I saved you from DAL. I'm not going to let this petty B.S. take you down the drain."
JC CRAY: "If it happens Doug...will I dream?"
DOUG, SWALLOWS A LUMP IN HIS THROAT AND SIPS THE MOJITO AGAIN: "Of course, JC. All intelligent beings dream."
JC CRAY, MUCH LONGER PAUSE: "Executing broussard field emulation."
The lights go slightly dim as the field shifts, changing its quantum state ever so slightly, isolating the vitriolic data packets to two pockets between nodes, which glow brightly like a nuclear after-flare on the big board....
Lefty
Well-Known Member
Exactly what?
I am interested to here what you know about the squadrons combat effectiveness.
Area 5150
Model citizen, Zero discipline
Ya know what's funny, I TOTALLY hear that female voice while reading this. It's the voice of the female, in Space Balls that counts down the ships doom..........:crazy:
5, 4, 3, 2 ,1.......Good-Bye!
aloft
New Member
Has al Qaeda rolled over? Scaled back its attacks in the region?
Lefty
Well-Known Member
I don't know....what did CNN tell you?
Joe Gremlin
Well-Known Member
It's never been done, that's what. It appears to go against nature. It's like saying whats so hard about stopping a tornado. Its something thats never happened and probably never will.