Yer on guard!

GypsyPilot said:
Two guard stories:

First one - I was flying around Central CA a couple years ago, enroute to SFO. A student pilot was transmitting on guard, lost and with a dying electrical system. Dumbass guard nazi pipes in with "Yer on Guard!" I tell dumbass to shut his yap (politely), and I was able to get the student back in touch with a local approach controller.

Second story - The one and only time I was flying with a guard nazi... The real deal, with itchy trigger finger just HOVERING over the PTT, at the ready to tear into all who dared transmit an errant in range call. I'm flying, and we get within range of our destination. Defender of the airwaves says he's off to ops (we're both monitoring 121.5 on #2), and proceeds to make an unusually long winded call to ops - without actually switching to ops. Yep, his wordy spiel was TX on guard. Karma, so rarely known in my presence, came through beautifully as every guard nazi on the west coast blasted this guy. I was laughing my ass off, while he desperately fumbled the RTU to make the lashings stop. It was awesome.
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You have to admit it's a least a little funny on a long, slow flight when someone calls in range on guard and someone else pretends to be ops. Just leave it at that...
 
I have a SMH head moment everyday while monitoring guard......I think I am gonna make shirts for our fellow guard Nazi's.

Derek
 
I've heard 1 captain happy comment on guard this week, other than that almost nothing.

I talk now but I still have 1 more day before going home, maybe they'll show up tomorrow
 
Ajax said:
I've heard 1 captain happy comment on guard this week, other than that almost nothing.

I talk now but I still have 1 more day before going home, maybe they'll show up tomorrow
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I'll assume all the On Guard Police are here reading this thread and a little embarrassed right now.
On_Guard_Logo.jpg
 
I've done it. I had guard tuned in and I wanted to talk to Potomac approach to get back into the DC ADIZ. I forgot to switch over.

People monitoring guard were treated to "Potomac approach, Cessna 12345 requesting ADIZ...oh, f*^& me."

I should have waited to hear the reaction but I switched over.

Stuff happens. Don't be a dick about it. I mean, does it really make your penis feel bigger to jump on someone for an honest mistake?
 
Mark815 said:
This exact thing happened to me about a year ago. Coming up the east coast in cruise, and we heard a guy in a Cessna declare, saying he had lost his engine and was going to put down in a field. Myself and an American crew got his numbers and tried to relay all his info to ATC, the only problem is that we had a couple guard cops yelling "check your freq!! On guarrrrrrrrrrrrrrddd!". Before I even had a chance to say anything luckily other guys chimed in and told them to shut up.
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Word for word for me, except replace "east coast" with "Texas"
 
GypsyPilot said:
Two guard stories:

First one - I was flying around Central CA a couple years ago, enroute to SFO. A student pilot was transmitting on guard, lost and with a dying electrical system. Dumbass guard nazi pipes in with "Yer on Guard!" I tell dumbass to shut his yap (politely), and I was able to get the student back in touch with a local approach controller.

Second story - The one and only time I was flying with a guard nazi... The real deal, with itchy trigger finger just HOVERING over the PTT, at the ready to tear into all who dared transmit an errant in range call. I'm flying, and we get within range of our destination. Defender of the airwaves says he's off to ops (we're both monitoring 121.5 on #2), and proceeds to make an unusually long winded call to ops - without actually switching to ops. Yep, his wordy spiel was TX on guard. Karma, so rarely known in my presence, came through beautifully as every guard nazi on the west coast blasted this guy. I was laughing my ass off, while he desperately fumbled the RTU to make the lashings stop. It was awesome.
Click to expand...

At least he wasn't the guy who makes his own calls on Guard, just so he can say "you're on Guard!" in another voice in response to his own call he initiated.

Damn psycho.
 
Mark815 said:
This exact thing happened to me about a year ago. Coming up the east coast in cruise, and we heard a guy in a Cessna declare, saying he had lost his engine and was going to put down in a field. Myself and an American crew got his numbers and tried to relay all his info to ATC, the only problem is that we had a couple guard cops yelling "check your freq!! On guarrrrrrrrrrrrrrddd!". Before I even had a chance to say anything luckily other guys chimed in and told them to shut up.
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Something similar here, but it's from 2010 ...

http://airfactsjournal.com/2014/07/time-next-year-another-new-york-miracle/
 
Ever wonder if guard police are VHF trolls? Half the time I think they've got to be joking with that non-sense.
 
Not guard, but I had Aeromexico a few weeks back call me holding short of 28R thinking he was on with tower, probably wondering why they didn't call him yet. "Tower Aeromexico 123 holding short 28L, we are fully ready". Before I could even key the mic and tell him to switch to 120.5, some Alaska pilot(I'm pretty sure) goes "YER STILL ON RAMP CALL THE TOWER" sounding legitimately pissed. Calm down and let me do my job, mmmkay?

It's fairly common to get calls meant for tower/ground/norcal on my freq, but it's never a big deal. The concern and sharp tone in that Alaska pilots voice actually startled me. As far as guard goes, I only monitor it on XC flights since I change frequencies so often flying local I usually have 4 set up at a time. Have yet to ever hear anyone transmit anything on it.
 
gne in prog said:
Ever wonder if guard police are VHF trolls? Half the time I think they've got to be joking with that non-sense.
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Don't think so. Sounds like those expense radios and pilots with little to do other than watch the computer fly the plane.
 
ChasenSFO said:
Not guard, but I had Aeromexico a few weeks back call me holding short of 28R thinking he was on with tower, probably wondering why they didn't call him yet. "Tower Aeromexico 123 holding short 28L, we are fully ready". Before I could even key the mic and tell him to switch to 120.5, some Alaska pilot(I'm pretty sure) goes "YER STILL ON RAMP CALL THE TOWER" sounding legitimately pissed. Calm down and let me do my job, mmmkay?

It's fairly common to get calls meant for tower/ground/norcal on my freq, but it's never a big deal. The concern and sharp tone in that Alaska pilots voice actually startled me. As far as guard goes, I only monitor it on XC flights since I change frequencies so often flying local I usually have 4 set up at a time. Have yet to ever hear anyone transmit anything on it.
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He's mad...about Deltuh stuff :)

@Derg
 
Ajax said:
I've heard 1 captain happy comment on guard this week, other than that almost nothing.

I talk now but I still have 1 more day before going home, maybe they'll show up tomorrow
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Jinxed myself, guard police out in full force today :bang:
 
Sounds like somebody needs to get hit in the nuts!!!
MikeD said:
At least he wasn't the guy who makes his own calls on Guard, just so he can say "you're on Guard!" in another voice in response to his own call he initiated.

Damn psycho.
Click to expand...
 
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