Why...

Here's my sexist comment of the day.

The more women that accept scholarships for universities, stay active for a couple of years and then leave the job force may start a backlash from the various foundations that provide the scholarships.

If it becomes "too popular", then say "Scientific Future, LLC" may begin to prefer male applicants over female applicants because there might be a better ROI on a male scientist because he's got a higher probability to stay in the field.

It's probably going to make it harder on women that want to pursue higher education. It's a very slippery slope.

I know if I shelled out $100G's in aviation scholarships to a demographic of people that accepted the money, flew a couple years and then went on a 15 year sabatical, I'd be hard-pressed not to begin to discriminate towards those that have long term plans in their chosen profession.
 
But how do you know if a woman is going to go on "sabbatical" or not? How do you know she is going to have kids at all? Or if she even can? If the grant is given to a male, what's to say he's not going to lose his medical, decide he really can't deal with the lifestyle, or crashes a plane and kills himself?

There's too many "individual" variables to make that kind of generalization. Many, many women are choosing to not have kids at all nowdays. I applaud that, and say if you know you don't want kids, that's great! Kudos to you for knowing what you (don't) want, and tell everyone who asks when you're having kids that your uterus has a strange disease that will result in the birth of babies with 3 arms. That'll shut 'em up.
 
(rant on)

I completely agree and understand.

And this is my Bill Cosby moment:

I guess my perspective comes from being in a demographic where people think that time, effort and money is wasted on because for a period of time in our culture, we weren't expected to succeed in higher education and would bow out at the first hint of a challenge.

So, even as late as the mid-80's, I had a couple of situations where I've overheard angry parents mad because Darling Johnny couldn't get into AP Calculus because the class was full but "'that guy' who probably won't even get thru college" is taking up a seat.

I guess my point is fairly political.

We're all fighting for equal opportunity, but when granted said opportunity we've got to prove that the struggle was worth it. Just like my cousins that don't vote. Ancestors rolling over in their graves over that one! :)

(/rant off)

:)
 
Maybe I'm looking at this as a man (checks pants, yea I'm a dude!) But I see myself as masculine, a leader and a provider.

If I was in a relationship, again obviously with a man, it wouldn't be me taking time off work, or quiting to stay home to watch the kids. No way, not gonna happen!!!

Now being that I'm masculine my partner would obviously be a good mix of masculinity and effeminity (sp). Or in laymens terms the women of the relationship since society says he is because he is a receiver. :rolleyes:

So he should stay home with the kids not me, not me...ducks and runs for cover.

My point with my cousin is that she went to school for 6-8 years to acheive all these degrees of higher learning, and now will be a housewife for probably the rest of her days. I guess that she can gaze at her many accomplishment hanging on the wall in her study from time to time with a sense of pride.

Anyone see that movie Mona Lisa's smile with Julia Roberts. If not it's about Wellesley College, which was a college (back in the day) that was really nothing more than a finishing school. The ladies there could maybe be pre-law, but as Julia said in the moive, "what's the point of all that time, effort and work, when tradition states after college you marry and become a housewife for the rest of your days."

That's what I feel about someone with her level of education placing the career on hold, and being a housewife the rest of her days. I'm not saying don't take maternity leave or maybe a year or two off. I'm saying if it was my spouse, a female for this scenario, I'd wish them to go back to work eventually and stay up on what's new in their career field.

You all make good points about daycare and wanting to spend time with said children.

This might be a cop out, but I grew up with a strong, focused, type A mother that wouldn't let anything stop her from succeeding. Not my good for nothing father, and not the fact that she had 4 kids. She was what shaped my thinking on this topic.

I'm not saying a career women shouldn't give up her job to be a mother, and I'm not saying a housewife has to go back to work when the children are school aged. Both of those are personal decsions between her and her mate.

My opinion is just one of general not understanding. Again it could be the male provider in me, or the fact that I understand all that having a successful career means to someone. Again that being something uniquely their own a life outside of the home, of being a father, husband etc.

Hope this all made sense, I'm in enough #### already from the good lady folks of this site. And I'm long over due for a good long nap!
 
MQAAord said:
There's too many "individual" variables to make that kind of generalization.
Click to expand...

I think that pretty much hits it right on. Everyones situation is too unique. Max's opinion isn't bad though, especially when considering the amount of time taken off before jumping back into the workforce. Kinda like keeping current on your ratings.

When a baby comes (planned or unplanned) there is definetly a choice to make. I personally think that it's best that the mother stay home with the baby because there is definatly a special connection between baby and momma. In my situation, she stayed home and I got a second job and that works for US. it could be different for everyone though.
 
TheWife said:
I can't relate to not wanting kids. ;) But I don't think you have to relate to something, in order to respect it. :) (Not saying YOU weren't, just in general, ya know.)
Click to expand...

I said I couldn't relate because I'm a woman, and those prior commented that maybe they couldn't relate because they're men.

Just pointing out that, man or woman, you'll relate or you won't.


(Respect it, sure. Both ways.)
 
Believe it or not, I am listening and yes learning. Even my mom said that it's best that she put her priorities in order, and that is to care for her child.

I can see that...just can't see giving up ones career forever. When the kid becomes school age, time to go back to work. Strictly my opinion.

Pam's brother Roy, (my cousin, duh!) and his wife agreed on two kids. The first wasn't planned. The second was. He was in the marines when they met, she was in school, and working FT. He wanted them to be close in age so they are two years apart. She agreed because it would afford her less time out of school vs. if they were spread apart in age.

She took off from being a college student to be a FT mother. The youngest started school two years ago, and she is now working PT and going back to school to be a teacher.

I like that, I like that alot. But everyones situation is different, YMMV!
 
I've got two older brothers that are two years apart... I'm not sure if it made much of a difference beyond fighting over chicks.

I was the cute "younger brother" giggity giggity giggity GIGGITY gooo... aw'right!
 
Maximillian_Jenius said:
I can see that...just can't see giving up ones career forever. When the kid becomes school age, time to go back to work. Strictly my opinion.
Click to expand...

Someone once told me that I would understand better once I had kids. I thought that was BS. Guess what? It's not. I can totally see someone giving up their career to be a stay out home mom/dad. Even when the kid starts going to school, there's still plenty of stuff that needs to be done around the house. Laundry, yard work, bills, cleaning, cooking, errands. Your time to do those things gets SERIOUSLY reduced once you have kids. I used to work those in when I could before we had Gavin. Now, even that little bit of time is done. Those things you used to do on weekends like the yard, etc. It gets tougher when you have to chase a drunken midget around, too. Sometimes, after that, you're just too damn tired to do some of the stuff that needs to be done. Toss a 9-5 job in there, and it's worse. Plus, school is on a different schedule than work most of the time. So, you're back to the day care aspect again.

Factor in that some schools aren't very good education builders, despite all the No Child Left Behind stuff. NOW you're trying to find a good school to match your school age kid. This is why some parents not only give up their careers, but even home school their kids. That's what we're leaning towards right now.

Basically, what you have to accept is the needs of the child trump your own needs. If it's better for the kid in the long run for you to give up your career, then so be it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top