What NOT to eat before flying?

pianokeys

pianokeys

MEL NO MUFFS
A pilot friend of mine here in Canada land says he "Never eats airport salads, or any salads. Ever." before going on a pairing. Makes sense. He claims fast food is a good option when some of the other options in town are shady. Is there any foods you stay away from before going away or while away to prevent ralphing all over the cockpit?
 
Pretty much any questionable airport Mexican burrito.

Oh the horror out there!

Taxi out, and can already feel a war brewing in the stomach. Gets progressively worse as you takeoff. Out of 10,000 look at the CA and yell YOU HAVE CONTROLS! He's confused, but only at first. He smells what's about to come. Push the FA Call button......
"Yes?"
"I need a break please"
"Oh, ok. We just took off."
"NNNOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
 
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Cherokee_Cruiser said:
Pretty much any questionable airport Mexican burrito.

Oh the horror out there!

Taxi out, and can already feel a war brewing in the stomach. Gets progressively worse as you takeoff. Out of 10,000 look at the CA and yell YOU HAVE CONTROLS! He's confused, but only at first. He smells what's about to come. Push the FA Call button......
"Yes?"
"I need a break please"
"Oh, ok. We just took off."
"NNNOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Click to expand...
I've actually waylaid our flight attendants at 10,001' for a lav break when things broke a little loose.

"RIGHT NOW."

Also, vacuum toilets are amazing.
 
I have an iron gut, so now worries for me...I chew e-coli up and blast it out the rear...
But I do concern myself with foods that produce my personal worst gases. Nothing worse then letting one slip with the bill payers 6 feet behind me...
 
Cabbage. Always eat cabbage before a trip (when you see who it is on your pairing, and you know it's going to be a nasty trip anyways).
 
When I was a mapper we were flying from New Orleans to RBD. My coworker...at 8000 feet was SUDDENLY reminded of all the spicey crawfish he ate the night before. I never saw anybody slip a airplane from 8000 feet before. We landed somewhere in East Texas and he made a fast walk to the mens room with a sense of urgency/ panic.
 
Yeah, salads are definitely loaded up with farts and all of those farts bring a lot of friends with them too.
 
A night of Everything in Vegas. Mexican, Margaritas, you name it. I was flying back to Phoenix when the feeling came upon me. Told flight following I was diverting to Lake Havasu. I made the mistake of telling them I was feeling a bit unwell and was met on the ramp by the local Paramedics. I waddled sweating to the nearest loo.

I had a welcoming party on the way out of locals laughing their heads off. Oops.
 
I don't eat seafood unless I'm in a European decent seaside area, or in some islands. If I doubt the refrigerant quality (looking at you, Moscow), I'm very hesitant to eat most foods. The Russians I fly with always eat the fish, and I always ask them where they get fish from in Moscow, or where the refrigerator is before it gets to our plane...hint, there isn't one. It just sits out with us in the lounge.

Learn where you are and the quality of food and care before it gets to the airplane.

We just got to some islands, and the Russians are eyeing McDonald's as we head to the hotel. Ugh. I'll be eating seafood, thanks.
 
I hear the Chinese food from the restaurant above the terminal in Redding California sometimes gave our pilots afterburner emergencies. It never bothered me however.
 
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