1. The F/A acted entirely appropriately. She recognized a problem and continued to press the issue until the problem was resolved. Sure, she fabricated the part about the passengers noticing the ice, but that was only because the pilots were (apparently) unreceptive to her input.
2. Ultimately, the airplane did get deiced and the flight progressed safely. She met her goal.
3. Where this broke down was by NOT using her professional standards committee to resolve this issue. She and her partners went right to the Company instead of working the issue through the Unions. Both Unions have methods for addressing issues like this without Company or FAA intervention.
If they HAD used the Professional Standards Committee, then they would not have been forced to repeat the lie about the passengers. That's the whole crux of the matter. The F/O's professional reputation was questioned before the FAA and the public and he decided to use the legal system for redress. Unfortunately, since the F/As were caught in their fabrication, the Company will no longer back them in the legal system.