United Airlines Severe Turbulance

ctab5060X said:
Allow the toddler, just make sure they have a responsible adult with them. :D

Parents need to control their offspring.
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Responsible parents? Those actually exist nowadays? I haven't seen any.

Flight attendants should be issued a roll of duct tape. Every human under the age of 12 who walks on board should have their trap taped shut. Or we could go with Boris's idea of throwing the little disease transporters into the cargo hold. I'm ok either way. ;)
 
Looks like on the other side of the pond, a Cathay Pacific 747 flying SFO-HKG hit some bad chop over Japan which injured 12 people.

Story:
http://www.scmp.com/news/hong-kong/...-kong-bound-cathay-flight-hit-turbulance-over

Pics:
phpLO5AaR.jpeg
 
ctab5060X said:
Parents need to control their offspring.
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If our grandparents had done that, none of us deviant-minded, narsasistic pilots would ever exist. Then how would Biff and Buffy get from NYC to Vegas for $199 in order to have a crazy weekend of booze, selfies, quickies, and a trip to the Elvis chapel?

It's the circle of life.
 
I fought my wife on the whole lap child thing, demanding that we purchase a restraint system, but I lost when she accurately pointed out how opposed most FAs are to such systems. So I compromised and came up with my own ...

RM_BEANR_Carabiner_high.jpg

Put the boys in jeans with belt loops and run the caribiner through their belt loops and feed my seat belt inside of it. Now I know that in bad enough turbulence/accident, it's just going to pull their pants down, but hopefully they should at least get caught around their shoes or ankles and offer some level of protection. Or in a sudden stop accident the belt loop might just rip altogether, but at least there would have been some reduction in forward momentum.

You know what I worry about far more than turbulence, though? Someone dropping something onto my kid from the overhead bin. That's why I always insisted on a window seat when we flew with them.
 
Murdoughnut said:
I fought my wife on the whole lap child thing, demanding that we purchase a restraint system, but I lost when she accurately pointed out how opposed most FAs are to such systems.
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The only issue I had with them, as a FA, is that people ALWAYS thought they had to have those "inflight" restraint systems attached for takeoff & landing. When the package and the device clearly state "THIS RESTRAINT IS NOT APPROVED FOR TAKEOFF & LANDING". They're for inflight only. They were annoying because we had to constantly explain to people that they could not be used for takeoffs & landings. Nowhere in the advertising for these products is that made clear. It's written in the package directions, and on the device, but reading that requires maturity, caring, time and effort...

The exception to this is the CARES device. This is a device that works with the airplane seatbelt to give the child shoulder restraints. This device IS approved for takeoff & landing, however the CARES device is not a device for a lap child. It requires the child be in his/her own seat. If I remember right it also disables the tray table for the seat behind the child by how the device wraps around the seat. This could cause problems if the person behind the child wants to use their tray table. (Fix: sit the kid & family in the last row.)
 
In 7 years as a F/A I never had an issue getting a carseat to work in an airplane seat. Never had to have a seat reclined for it to work (all seats have to be upright for takeoff & landing anyway, not sure how anyone would allow a seat to be installed that way.) My oldest used his carseat in the plane, rear-facing, it was fine. Yes it has to go in the window seat for obvious evacuation reasons.

I highly encourage the use of FAA approved carseats for babies/toddlers in airplanes. I highly discourage the use of those "inflight restraint systems", with the exception of the CARES device. (The CARES device not being a lap-child "restraint device" anyway.)

Buy a seat for your kid. They're worth it. The extra space is worth it. I could not imagine trying to hold an almost-two-year old on my lap for any duration. No thank you!!

And as a side note, a lap child has not yet reached his/her second birthday. So a two year old does NOT qualify as a lap child. People get confused on that. They see "2", and think their two year old can sit on their lap. No. If they have turned 2, they MUST have their own seat. Period.
 
Not to belabor a point, but it baffles me that people think it's some kind of human right to bring a screaming organism that literally poops all over itself in to said pressurized tube. Like to the point that they're offended that you would suggest otherwise. My RealDoll is comparatively well behaved, but can I buy her a ticket? Nooooooooo.
 
Boris Badenov said:
Not to belabor a point, but it baffles me that people think it's some kind of human right to bring a screaming organism that literally poops all over itself in to said pressurized tube. Like to the point that they're offended that you would suggest otherwise. My RealDoll is comparatively well behaved, but can I buy her a ticket? Nooooooooo.
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You know, you're not too removed from being that screaming organism that literally poops all over itself, and they let you fly the thing.
 
So nobody under 18 or over 60....

Here's a fix
depend-underwear-for-men-maximum.jpg


As for the CARES, i think you can drop the tray first so it isn't trapped.
 
Tubal ligation or tubectomy (also known as having one's "tubes tied" (ligation)) is a surgical procedure for sterilization in which a woman's fallopian tubes are clamped and blocked, or severed and sealed, either method of which prevents eggs from reaching the uterus for fertilization. Tubal ligation is considered a permanent method of sterilization and birth control.

Vasectomy is a surgical procedure for male sterilization and/or permanent birth control. During the procedure, the vasa deferentia of a man are severed, and then tied/sealed in a manner such to prevent sperm from entering into the seminal stream (ejaculate). Vasectomies are usually performed in a physician's office or medical clinic.
 
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deadstick said:
So nobody under 18 or over 60....

Here's a fix
depend-underwear-for-men-maximum.jpg


As for the CARES, i think you can drop the tray first so it isn't trapped.
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The band I was in could have used these on tour. The constant pee stops got ridiculous so we started using Gatorade bottles but those filled up quickly. This would have been a great alternative. ;)
 
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