To all CFI's: Stupidest student questions.

Had a student ask me once if the metal tabs on the wings of a seminole (that block the recog light from shining in the cockpit) were winglets....
 
On a Presolo written the question answers:
Q: Which aircraft has the right away over all others. A: the commercial Aircrafts
Q: explain the fuel system on a C-172. A: Horizontally Opposed
Q: Draw a Hold short line. A: Draws a ILS Crit area Hold line.
 
me to student:" turn right heading 090"student grab the knob of the DG, and turn the miniature plane to 090"i said" not this one, the big plane...":yup:no kidding, I could not believe . I was a flight instructor only, ground was given by indies...
As much as it pains me to admit it, I've done that. I was used to flying a plane with a heading bug and putting the new heading in. Did it in the old plane I barely flew that didn't have a heading bug and realized what I did. Whats worse is I had a witness.
 
Not a student/instructor event but still amusing. I know a girl whose....well she's never going to be Einstein. She flies commercially a few times a year so she knows what its like to ride on an airliner. But this time it was her first time going on a transatlantic flight.

Her: I'm a little nervous about the flight to Europe.
Me: Why's that? You'll be fine though. It's just a long flight. No different from domestic flights.
Her: Well I might get sea sick.
Me: [Again] it's no different from a domestic flight
Her: Yeah, but I'm flying over the sea, and I'm going to get sea sick. :banghead:
 
Not a student/instructor event but still amusing. I know a girl whose....well she's never going to be Einstein. She flies commercially a few times a year so she knows what its like to ride on an airliner. But this time it was her first time going on a transatlantic flight.

Her: I'm a little nervous about the flight to Europe.
Me: Why's that? You'll be fine though. It's just a long flight. No different from domestic flights.
Her: Well I might get sea sick.
Me: [Again] it's no different from a domestic flight
Her: Yeah, but I'm flying over the sea, and I'm going to get sea sick. :banghead:

Wow... she must have been smoking hot!
 
Not a student/instructor event but still amusing. I know a girl whose....well she's never going to be Einstein. She flies commercially a few times a year so she knows what its like to ride on an airliner. But this time it was her first time going on a transatlantic flight.

Her: I'm a little nervous about the flight to Europe.
Me: Why's that? You'll be fine though. It's just a long flight. No different from domestic flights.
Her: Well I might get sea sick.
Me: [Again] it's no different from a domestic flight
Her: Yeah, but I'm flying over the sea, and I'm going to get sea sick. :banghead:

That is awesome.
 
me to student:" turn right heading 090"
student grab the knob of the DG, and turn the miniature plane to 090"
i said" not this one, the big plane...":yup:

no kidding, I could not believe . I was a flight instructor only, ground was given by indies...

Was it their infamous "hard core" DGCA ground? Most of the Indian students I've known had to be re-taught everything since they slept through most of their ground sessions.

"If you don't ever end up near KBOI then you're safe. I don't recal her ever having a student...I wonder why?"

LMAO!!!! I think I may know her. Did the Flight School name make reference to a certain atmospheric feature?
 
One student of mine didn't know the basic points of the compass. Probably the best one was when I gave a student an engine failure 3000ft above an airport. We circled down on a final....he went for the runway 1/2mile and 1000ft up (in a skyhawk)....no flaps, no slip....proceeds to attempt to S-turn it out (90 degree turns either side). Still weren't coming down and 300AGL and halfway down the runway "time for one more S-turn!" and we turned for the trees.....

After explaining stalls on the ground to one of my Indian students (he's 14 or so), we went up to do them. On the ground he gave me a perfect textbook definition of a stall and how to recover from them. In the air however....
I say "Ok, I'm going to show you a stall"
student: "NO!....we not do stalls"
Me: "what?" Student: "I don't want to do a stall"
Me: "well we have to do them sometime....."

On the flight back in he was doing a great job holding 65kt and everything down final. As we got closer he started panicking asking me to takeover even though he was doing fine.
 
I;ve told this story before but I'll tell it again... I lived in Phoenix at the time and the Red Bull Air races were in San Diego.
Gupta: Hey sir, can I rent a plane to go to the air races and you chaperone me?
Me: Sure Gupta but you gotta pay for everything.
Gupta: Ok that's fine, do we sign up when we get there?
Me: Sign up for what? Tickets? No we can buy those on the internet.
Gupta: No, sign up for the races.
Me: You want to race your 152? I don't think it is open entry Gupta, they generally invite people to race(in disbelief)
Gupta: I don't wanna go then.
 
Not a CFI but I have a commercial pilot thingy.

Took a girl I'm interested in up today cause she wanted to. These are some of her questions when we got there.

"can you fly this alone?"
"where's a parachute?"
"is this going to crash?"
"are you sure you can fly this?" (I wasn't)
"isn't this one of those ones that always crash?"


The sad thing is that we both work for "Center, do you have any shortcuts?" Airlines.
 
I can see this thread as never ending...

Indonesian student

Me: when can you get carb ice?
Student: when it rains only...
Me: where did you read that?
 
Not a CFI but I have a commercial pilot thingy.

Took a girl I'm interested in up today cause she wanted to. These are some of her questions when we got there.

"can you fly this alone?"
"where's a parachute?"
"is this going to crash?"
"are you sure you can fly this?" (I wasn't)
"isn't this one of those ones that always crash?"


The sad thing is that we both work for "Center, do you have any shortcuts?" Airlines.

Nice.
 
Standing with a student's parents as he does his first solo takeoff, the mom asks, "so...what if the wing falls off?" Her husband snapped his neck quickly towards her with eyes wide open.

I couldn't come up with a smart, funny, professional, or crafty answer...so I pretended to not hear it. Screaming inside me though, was the urge to say "If a wing falls off, his time has come." I figured mom wouldn't approve of that. :)
 
Not a CFI but I have a commercial pilot thingy.

Took a girl I'm interested in up today cause she wanted to. These are some of her questions when we got there.

"can you fly this alone?"
"where's a parachute?"
"is this going to crash?"
"are you sure you can fly this?" (I wasn't)
"isn't this one of those ones that always crash?"


The sad thing is that we both work for "Center, do you have any shortcuts?" Airlines.
Well, there's your problem...
 
I was getting ready to fly the girlfriend back from dinner last night when she points down under the center of the panel and asks "Why does it say Mike and Jack down there?" "Those are the two guys that built it, they do that at the factory."To be fair she realized it was a misspelling of mic before I could come back with my smartass reply. But I couldn't help myself.
 
Standing with a student's parents as he does his first solo takeoff, the mom asks, "so...what if the wing falls off?" Her husband snapped his neck quickly towards her with eyes wide open.

I couldn't come up with a smart, funny, professional, or crafty answer...so I pretended to not hear it. Screaming inside me though, was the urge to say "If a wing falls off, his time has come." I figured mom wouldn't approve of that. :)

You circle to land.
 
I was familiarizing one of our new pilots with the local area, which included a lunch stop, so my girlfriend and mikecweb were riding along in back. We were headed to Richmond...a short 25 minute flight, and she pipes up out of nowhere and asks "so, will I get jet lag from this?"

Poor girl...grew up in West Virginia...but I still love her
 
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