Things not to say to the passenger sitting next to you...

Re: Things not to say to the passenger sitting next to you..

Cessna414JJB said:
In fact your FA is asking if there is a pilot on board, I would assume two shot dead pilots upfront, and she is just giving the terrorists a clue who to shoot next. You should not identify yourself as a Pilot, period.

Things not to say to fellow travellers:
  • "Looks like we are leaking fuel."
  • Point at the turban fuzzy sitting a few rows ahead while taxiing and playing with his cellphone. (Everytime he presses a button you say "Flaps up!" "Flaps Down!" "Navigation Systems Off!" "Target, Set")
  • (Special Sounds, Bangs...) Wisper: "Holy Crap, something must have fallen off!"
  • Tell the passengers how much the two guys upfront are being paid. (It really scares pax if you do that!)
  • React to power changes with any sort of comments, concerned looks or twitching.
  • React to pitch changes with wondering if the guys upfront are on steroids.
  • Tell them: "I'm really scared right now, but thats normal, I'm a pilot"
Best is to avoid airline travel at any price anyways. :)
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Umm first of all, an FA will NEVER ask that question casually, because one, chances are there's a uniformed pilot already jumpseating/nonrevving to work or home which makes it obvious and two, IF the FA does ask that question then it must be serious business in which case you're gonna probably need to help. Whenever I jumpseat, nonrev, deadhead on company plane, I always poke my head in the FD, say hello and offer my help if need be.
 
Re: Things not to say to the passenger sitting next to you..

DPApilot said:
ord tsa dont like those "remove before flight" keychains..
i had fun explaining that im not a terrorist, luckily their was a UAL capt behind me...
funny tho
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How and the does that key chain make you a terrorist? Does TSA even have a clue?

Cessna414JJB said:
"Looks like we are leaking fuel."
  • Point at the turban fuzzy sitting a few rows ahead while taxiing and playing with his cellphone. (Everytime he presses a button you say "Flaps up!" "Flaps Down!" "Navigation Systems Off!" "Target, Set")
  • (Special Sounds, Bangs...) Wisper: "Holy Crap, something must have fallen off!"
:)
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My favorite is on the CRJ's when they do the SELCAL test and it starts barking SELCAL, SELCAL really freaking loud. I always get a confused look from the guy or gal on their phone. I usually tell them the plane knows if some is using their phone. They usually get off pretty quick...LOL
 
Re: Things not to say to the passenger sitting next to you..

Ease them up with some pilot humor jokes like "Ya know the last thing to go through a pilots mind when he hits the side of a mountain????

His passengers!"
 
Re: Things not to say to the passenger sitting next to you..

I wouldnt make fun of him, the CFI story had me occupied on a Jetblue Airbus from LGB-JFK in 2003. Maybe at NJC........naaaaaaah
 
Re: Things not to say to the passenger sitting next to you..

ZapBrannigan said:
You guys interact with the pax a whole lot more than I used to when I was riding in the back in uniform.

I would put on my headsets and close my eyes the MINUTE it was permitted to do so and not take them off again until it was required. Don't make direct eye-contact -- then they'll think you want to talk.

And if they did manage to get my attention, I would talk to them about the problem in exactly the same way I explained mechanical issues to the flight attendants.

Just like Fletch would: "The 7th Fetzer valve is sticking. Could be the bypass line. It's all ball bearings nowadays. They're gonna prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads, then they gonna need 'bout ten quarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No, no make that Quaker State."
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Only if he's 5'1" 225. Now 5'10 blonde in sitting next to me in 2A? Muahahah
 
Re: Things not to say to the passenger sitting next to you..

In uniform: I say absolutely nothing. When the FA asks what I'd like to drink I ask for my tomato juice and that's it.

Out of uniform: I say absolutely nothing. When the FA asks what I'd like to drink I ask for tomato juice and that's it.

I made the mistake of talking one too many times. Never again. Book comes out, bag goes in overhead and under seat, I sit down, buckle up and start reading.

-mini
 
Re: Things not to say to the passenger sitting next to you..

Was that the primary buffer panel? Did the primary buffer panel just fall off my ship?
 
Re: Things not to say to the passenger sitting next to you..

Cessna414JJB said:
  • Tell the passengers how much the two guys upfront are being paid. (It really scares pax if you do that!)
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Never said it to a fellow pax, but yes....anytime I've had that conversation with a friend of mine they got pretty freaked out.
 
Re: Things not to say to the passenger sitting next to you..

I once flew SFO-ORD in a 772 in my stupid CS Agent uniform and the passenger next to me got all freaked out when the spoilers deployed right before we got below 10,000 feet. She asked me what was going on and I said "Um...I don't think the wing is supposed to open like that." Then I slowly closed the window shade and closed my eyes and rested until we were on the ground ignoring her further inquiries. That was fun.

There was also a time when the PTU on an A320 alarmed a passenger and I told her it was Gary Coleman dry humping the luggage to keep it warm.
 
Re: Things not to say to the passenger sitting next to you..

A couple of weeks ago I had to go to Lexington, KY to ferry a plane back to Nebraska. I had one stop at ORD and the guy sitting next to me wanted to know how they found their way to the terminal from the runway. I then went into what I thought was a very well put together ground lesson on towers and airport operations. I quickly realized there were about 3 others listening. It's amazing how little these lesser peoples we pilots call civilians know about flying. :sarcasm: I realize we weren't flying, nor did I really scare them, but the guy just really seemed like we do everything on the fly.

BTW, I charged the guy 10 bucks.......
 
Re: Things not to say to the passenger sitting next to you..

Inevitably there was a nonrev or deadheading crewmember sitting quietly behind you rolling his eyes.
 
Re: Things not to say to the passenger sitting next to you..

I am very happy that we don't have traditional uniforms where I work, but it would be fun to be sitting there asleep, then suddenly waking up and say "what was that noise?" then acting all worried.....hehehehe
 
Re: Things not to say to the passenger sitting next to you..

ZapBrannigan said:
Inevitably there was a nonrev or deadheading crewmember sitting quietly behind you rolling his eyes.
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I was Deadheading from RIC to LGA a couple weeks ago and there was this guy who thought he knew it all in the row up in front of me. We got put into a hold somewhere on the arrival and this guy was trying to explain incorrectly what was going on. After about 5 minutes of BSing these passengers he looked back and saw me sitting there and quickly shut his mouth. It was "amusing" to listen to all his theorys about regional jets.
 
Re: Things not to say to the passenger sitting next to you..

minitour said:
In uniform: I say absolutely nothing. When the FA asks what I'd like to drink I ask for my tomato juice and that's it.

Out of uniform: I say absolutely nothing. When the FA asks what I'd like to drink I ask for tomato juice and that's it.

I made the mistake of talking one too many times. Never again. Book comes out, bag goes in overhead and under seat, I sit down, buckle up and start reading.

-mini
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So, you are the tomato juice guy? :D

P.S.: If you travel with a friend and you hear someone order tomato juice wisper: "Oh Oh, its gonna be a pretty nasty flight, lots of turbulence"

Or explain to your friend how you once observed a passenger being slammed and tossed about the cabin like a rubber doll, in a sudden freak turbulence (air hole!). Then sit and watch this good looking woman not going to the bathroom for pure fear on a 5 hour flight... :D:D

Point at something at the wing and tell your fellow traveller that you think there are a few rivets loose, and how you hope the guys upfront know about it...
 
Re: Things not to say to the passenger sitting next to you..

TFaudree_ERAU said:
My thoughts exactly. What routes are flown in RJs and far enough offshore to use SELCAL?
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Gotta satisfy the need to have reliable flight following in part 121 operations.

Unless, of course, you're monitoring something like ARINC in COM 2.
 
Re: Things not to say to the passenger sitting next to you..

TFaudree_ERAU said:
My thoughts exactly. What routes are flown in RJs and far enough offshore to use SELCAL?
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Every airplane at DAL has SELCAL, both domestic and international. It's a requirement for flight following, not going offshore.
 
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