Sad......

Apophis said:
After what literally just transpired with me this morning (literally less than an hour ago), I'm going to go ahead and give you my two cents.

My girlfriend literally just broke up with me via some crap, obscure Facebook messenger post (really, you can't call me or do it in person?). Even though we weren't together five years, and certainly haven't had any kids, the feeling sucks. There isn't much anybody can say or do to make you feel better. Only time will numb the pain. Even then, it may never go away completely.

With this being said, I'm going to be okay. And so are you. And do you know why? Because I have family that cares about me a lot. I have a job that I really enjoy. And most of all, I'm alive. I'd say those are some pretty good things. I don't know you extremely well, but I bet you have these things too.

So here's what is going to happen. You're going to knock out the rest of your flight training. You are going to get a decent aviation job that you enjoy, and in a few months, this person will be no more than a footnote in the history that is your life. This I guarantee.

If you want to PM me and talk more about it, I'm definitely game. I'm feeling pretty crappy right now too, and you know the saying; "misery loves company."
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My grandma, who fought cancer three times and won each time, would simply state:

"If you wake up in the morning and you can breathe and all of your body's plumbing is working, it's a good day!"
 
jskibo said:
I'm even laughing about some of the more ridiculous things about this (both spoken and unspoken).
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Laughter is very important. If you look at the Jung and Meyrs-Briggs personality typology stuff you discover that while everybody has their normal type they also have a shadow type that is the negative qualities of their normal time. People tend to go into their shadow type during times of stress. It can be pretty ugly and the scary thing is you may not know you are in your shadow type and as such it can be very hard to get out. One of the easiest ways to tell is that when you go into a shadow type you tend to get tunnel vision about what is happening around you. With tunnel vision you lose your ability to laugh about things (because to have a sense of humor you need to be able to "step outside" out of yourself). So, as long as you can laugh at things you know you aren't in your shadow type and you have the ability to think rationally. This test has been an absolutely life saver for me over the past few weeks. It sounds like you are doing pretty well right now, but it's something to keep in your mind if you need it.
 
Autothrust Blue said:
My grandma, who fought cancer three times and won each time, would simply state:

"If you wake up in the morning and you can breathe and all of your body's plumbing is working, it's a good day!"
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And you know what, she had a darn good point. If you don't have your health, then what do you have?

Seriously, I lost my mom less than two months after I turned 16, back in 2002. She died as a result of complications from a lifetime of alcohol abuse. Things like that really make you realize what's important in life, and also make coping with future difficulties in life more bearable.
 
jskibo said:
Seems like I made it through the first four stages of loss: denial/shock, bargaining, depression and almost all of anger. All that's left is acceptance! :) I'm even laughing about some of the more ridiculous things about this (both spoken and unspoken).

Over all, while in some ways the timing sucks, in others it couldn't be better. I have wanted to fly for the last 20 years, dropped it as a major at SIU to pursue the Co-Op program and guaranteed offer from McDonnell-Douglas at the time. Over the years I pondered a lot of what if moments, but never pursued them since the loss of income and time away would have been detrimental to the relationships I was in at the time. I'm mid 40's now and as long as I can find a way to make it work with getting time with my daughter, I think I'm about ready to find something to but my commercial license to use!

Thanks again to all the great group of people on here and your public and private messages of support. I feel like I have 100's of new friends that I have yet to meet, put I hope to correct some of that at NJC this year.

John
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Congrats on moving forward! You're gonna be ok. In the end, she probably did you a favor and the chump she is with now, will also be a stat.

However, god willing, I hope she can be a good mom and hopefully a stable mom at that. But, love and support your daughter! Be that Dad that every daughter should be lucky enough to have. And, let me say this, you guys ALWAYS try to take the civil route, even if she, ( the Ex) chooses not to. Women don't fight fair in custody court sometimes, but don't let that make you lose focus on what's really important! Keeping a tight, loving bond with your baby girl. Be the role model, always!

Good luck bro!
 
Ouch. Sorry to hear that but it sounds like you are doing the right things to get through it. I got a facebook breakup from a 2-year relationship at 11pm the night before I was leaving on a 13 hour ferry... That made for a long day with lots of time to think at 11,500' out over the desert.

Get through these checkrides and move on to a successful career in aviation!
 
I am sorry to hear that bud! I've been there done that twice now, first was married 9 years until she decided to find a new boy toy...the second, well that was 5 months of marriage and then gone. Ever hear that song by Toby Keith, "How do ya like me now?" It's my running theme song as I watch the two ex's spiral into their abyss as I push ahead with my wonderful wife of 5 years now. :) Anytime ya wanna talk, ya got my info. Take care and I'm sure your checkrides will go as planned so get out there and show em what's up!
 
One of these days I'll make it to Vegas but this isn't going to be the year. If @jskibo buys even one adult beverage out of his own pocket JC should be shut down. If there's a "supply jskibo with all the booze he can drink while in Vegas" fund, I'd be happy to donate. Seriously, it's Vegas he just got dumped, some one make sure he has a great time "networking". :)
 
PositionAndHold said:
One of these days I'll make it to Vegas but this isn't going to be the year. If @jskibo buys even one adult beverage out of his own pocket JC should be shut down. If there's a "supply jskibo with all the booze he can drink while in Vegas" fund, I'd be happy to donate. Seriously, it's Vegas he just got dumped, some one make sure he has a great time "networking". :)
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Lol, I appreciate that!

Spending the day packing some of my things for moving. Supposed to be out in October sometime. I have no idea what im going to do with that 737 sim....lol, too big for an apartment. I'm going to downsize for awhile.

In the end I got a decent deal, she's covering my rent for 6 months, there's no support of any form, I get a bunch of the furniture and a the X5 (but selling that as I don't need a seven pax car). My daughter will be with me every other week and full time for five months beginning January when she's gone to school.

I'm over it, only concerned about my little girl.

In the end it was a younger guy, but I'm starting to LMAO as she's blowing wads of cash on the kid, flying him in a few times a month and eventually moving him in. He's a cell phone store clerk :). You really can't make this stuff up! She has to refinance her house as without my income she can't make the payments. She goes from a guy with a six figure plus income to a guy making...I don't know, $30k? And she's letting him stay at the house while she's gone and the kids (hers not mine) are sent to grandma for five months. I fully expect the house to be cleaned out by the time she gets back.....LOL.

I got the best deal out of it, more time with my daughter :)


Again, I appreciate all the support I received here. It's a great community and you're a great group of guys (and gals).

Bring on the drinks at NJC! Oh, and if a Czech or Russian blond falls in my lap I won't be too disappointed :)


PS, have my CMEL ride next week Saturday......nothing is slowing down my flying :)
 
jskibo said:
So I'll be staying at the polo towers for NJC. If I still fly the Mooney in with @FlyByWire22 we should arrive late Thursday and depart Sunday. If this new found situation forces me to fly commercial, I will likely arrive the afternoon of Thursday and depart Sunday.

Someone make sure I don't get in too much trouble and no one writes on me with a sharpie.

Also no face tattoos please! I survived Thailand without them already. :)
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Bumblebee said:
Don't worry I have legendary sternum rub skills...
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Nobody writes on anyone else at NJC. Although I understand that people have fallen on them before..
 
jskibo said:
Lol, I appreciate that!

Spending the day packing some of my things for moving. Supposed to be out in October sometime. I have no idea what im going to do with that 737 sim....lol, too big for an apartment. I'm going to downsize for awhile.

In the end I got a decent deal, she's covering my rent for 6 months, there's no support of any form, I get a bunch of the furniture and a the X5 (but selling that as I don't need a seven pax car). My daughter will be with me every other week and full time for five months beginning January when she's gone to school.

I'm over it, only concerned about my little girl.

In the end it was a younger guy, but I'm starting to LMAO as she's blowing wads of cash on the kid, flying him in a few times a month and eventually moving him in. He's a cell phone store clerk :). You really can't make this stuff up! She has to refinance her house as without my income she can't make the payments. She goes from a guy with a six figure plus income to a guy making...I don't know, $30k? And she's letting him stay at the house while she's gone and the kids (hers not mine) are sent to grandma for five months. I fully expect the house to be cleaned out by the time she gets back.....LOL.

I got the best deal out of it, more time with my daughter :)


Again, I appreciate all the support I received here. It's a great community and you're a great group of guys (and gals).

Bring on the drinks at NJC! Oh, and if a Czech or Russian blond falls in my lap I won't be too disappointed :)


PS, have my CMEL ride next week Saturday......nothing is slowing down my flying :)
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Sounds like she is really gonna reap from what she sowed in the not too distant future! Glad to hear you are still going to get a lot of time with your daughter! In the end, that is the most important thing. I am looking forward to meeting you in Vegas!
 
Glad things got sorted out in the end. I would still advise you to sit down with a lawyer to discuss options in regards to custody arrangements. You need to protect your rights as a father. I wish I had done so when I got divorced. Luckily I've been able to defuse most of my custody issues so far.
 
Got an apartment this week. Will be moving before NJC, probably first week in October.

Not bad, almost 1000 sq ft for $800.

So for anyone passing through the Grand Rapids area, give me a ring or a PM. Though I don't have the nice theater and bar anymore, and the sim will be in pieces in storage shortly, I do have space for anyone to crash, a well stocked liquor cabinet and access to three nice planes (172, 177 and M20F) if you want to do some flying.

@Fencer Вы должны назвать следующий раз, когда вы находитесь в городе или проходящий через
 
Derg said:
You really need to write a book, man.

That's motivational as hell!
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No doubt. Kind of reminds me of a me of a time in my life actually.

My senior year in high school through sheer stubbornness I finally got this girl I was after to go out with me. Things went really well, and then we went off to college. We were pretty naive at that point, thinking that we had beat the odds and found "the one" straight out of high school. She was really religious, I'm really not, and we had both decided that it didn't matter at all. Long story short, when we both went off to college (different places) she figured out that it did matter to her and broke up with me through a letter. I was crushed, then pissed, then depressed, etc.

Took some time, licked my wounds, immersed myself in my friends, family, and hobbies, and then went about my life. Finished college, got a job as a flight instructor. Then I was invited to be a groomsman at a friend of mine's wedding. Ironically, that friend was her brother.

Now in high school she made it abundantly clear that she didn't want to live up to the stereotype of women in her religion. Start college, meet a guy, get married, drop out, get pregnant, then basically become a baby factory. I, ever since the age of about six knew I wanted to be a pilot.

So needless to say we ran into each other at my friends wedding. She was married, pregnant, and had dropped out of college. I was three months into my first instructing job, driving a brand new shiny car (that of course I had washed and waxed right before the wedding), and it felt friggin awesome.

Living your life so that you can fulfill some kind of revenge probably isn't the healthiest. But damn it felt good.

Even though I was crushed for quite some time, I later on met someone even better (thanks to Jetcareers) and was mature enough to appreciate it.

So yeah, things happen for a reason. It might not seem like it now, or for some time. But someday you'll be happy that it didn't work out.
 
Again, sorry to hear about all of this. Im currently going through something similar, minus the other guy. Its a chitty way to function at first but it will eventually have a meaning. Having a child involved really does makes it tough. Its important to just live day by day and have a solid plan for the future. Seems to be workin for yah. Keep it up and you'll forget this ever happened. BTW, what did you end up doing with that bad ass sim?
 
The best do-overs happen to many of us after 40, believe me. I am now married to the woman I was always meant to be with. Didn't think that would happen and wasn't even looking. I cannot regret having the three wonderful children and now 4 grandchildren that I would not have had with out the first go around that did not work out, or the life I have now. So there really are some things that happen for a reason.

Keep looking forward and enjoy all the things big and small that you have now. Bumps in the road happen to everyone. The future can hold much in the way of rewards and surprises if we just allow ourselves go there.
 
Sorry to hear about that man...I just got out of a relationship with a woman that I care alot about, but has a lot of issues that she doesn't seem to care to work on. It's hard, but everything happens for a reason. Some things were just not meant to be.
 
I see my history of picking women is horrible, perhaps I should try arranged marriages next :)[/quote]


Im 8 months into mine.
 
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