Personal matters getting in the way of flight training

taseal

taseal

Well-Known Member
I have some personal matters that came in the way of training this week. :( It might not sound major, but my SO and I have ended things, and it hit me a bit harder then expected. It was real hard to sleep and whatnot, and I can't get it out of my head so I called up my school and filled a PTS/LOA for this week and told them while this stuff is in my head (and with the sleep I got/get) I won't be able to do any training session because my mind is just on other things. :(

This got me thinking an another thing... how do the airlines handle this? Obviously they wouldn't want you flying with a head like this, all stressed out, so what do ya do? just call in sick for the week?

thanks :(
 
That sucks man, hope things smooth out for you!

On the other hand, after work yesterday and those other things in your mind, in ground school last night I couldn't focus and was making stupid mistakes on questions that I knew. Good question to, Im interested in the answer as well.
 
Don't have an aviation related answer for you but I do wish you the best with what is in front of you!

I think we all have been there once or twice, or more than we care to admit. It is never easy, just keep thinking of where you are headed and what will come with it.

Wish you the best!
 
Depends on the airline. Here at FL, they do a GREAT job at working with you to get you through the program. They tell us repeatedly that if something is interfering with training, speak up (EARLY, if possible) and they'll work with you.

They're not just blowing smoke, either. Friend of mine went through divorce during training, and they gave him the time he needed to deal with and get back in the game. And my sim partner during training, like you, was having some trouble sleeping so they sent him home for a week or so to get some rest and get his sleeping back to normal, then brought him back to finish training.

Again, this depends on the airline. Some may be less tolerant of such things. YMMV.
 
Aviation in itself is not inherently dangerous. But to an even greater degree than the sea, it is terribly unforgiving of any carelessness, incapacity or neglect.​
— Captain A. G. Lamplugh, British Aviation Insurance Group, London. Circa early 1930's.

Good luck, man. I just went through the same thing. It's your responsibility to ground yourself if you're not fit to fly.
 
Fly4Pay said:
Again, this depends on the airline. Some may be less tolerant of such things. YMMV.
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This is the best answer, bar none. There was a really good article in Airline Pilot (the magazine ALPA sends out) on this exact subject in the latest issue. Some airlines deal with it pretty well, others have crappy policies that just fall under "sick time." Keep in mind, if you wind up getting clinically treated for depression, you HAVE to remove yourself from duty. I'm pretty sure that under a doctor's care you can take a leave under FMLA, which at our airline you can use your sick time to still get paid for. Might even be able to burn your vacation time if it came down to it as well.

It's not only the airline that'll help you out here. Colgan guys, listen up. ALPA has resources in place with their aeromedical division to deal with situations like this. If you fly for an ALPA carrier, call them FIRST before you call the company. They've got experience and can suggest a course of action. Bottom line, if you can't focus on the job, you probably should remove yourself from duty. I think you did the right thing putting off the training.
 
thx for the kind words guys :( Our problem was long distance. She was in TX and I was FL. I couldn't move there because the apt that I bought can't be rented out for 2 years, and I don't want to sell again so soon. She can't come here because her school is WAY too much money here (out of state etc). If it wasn't for this house, I would have moved there and things would have been 10000x better. I guess everything happens for a reason. I still will probably end up living around her because I want express jet, and that is pretty close to her. Speaking of Express Jet, I hope they have a good policy that works with their pilots! :)

and Kellwolf, I'm pretty sad, and in a real ###### mood and all, but I don't think I'll ever be in a situation that I will need to go to a dr. for depression issues, after all this isn't the 1st one that broke my heart. She was the most serious one i've been with, and the one that worked out the best, but I know time cures everything, and its a free prescription lol.

I will tell you though, when people break my heart, I lose alot of weight really quick, so thats kind of good I guess haha, I could use shaving off like 10 lbs
 
taseal said:
This got me thinking an another thing... how do the airlines handle this? Obviously they wouldn't want you flying with a head like this, all stressed out, so what do ya do? just call in sick for the week? :(
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Yep. Call in sick. Pilots are 100% self-certifying as to their individual fitness to operate aircraft. If you're not up to it for any reason, don't fly. Management may try to shame or strongarm you into the airplane, but you owe it to yourself, your crew and your passengers not to go to work if you can't devote 100% of you attention to the job at hand. And the FAA will back you all the way on this topic.
 
An interesting question that I was also curious to see the answer to.

In the USAF -- where our flying motive is simply mission accomplishment versus an airline's profit motive -- we essentially have a free ticket at ANY time to take ourself off the flying schedule if we feel that we're not up to it on any given day. Most of the time there are no questions asked.

Didn't sleep well...problems at home...just don't feel up to it today...mind's not in the game...all perfectly valid reasons to not fly.

Now, if this happens regularly, it will be a problem and the leadership (and your peers!) will start prodding into your business to figure out what's going on with you.

Anyway, I can understand how this kind of thing goes over okay in the military where we don't lose $$ if a flight doesn't go, and where we can grab anyone at any time to put them on the flying schedule without paying out a bunch of $$ for overtime, or reserve, or junior assignment, or whatnot.

I was interested to know how it works for an organization whose main interest is the bottom line. I was not surprised to see the advice to call ALPA FIRST with such a situation.

WARNING: Slightly off topic musings ahead.

As a side note, the concept of a union for pilots is very foreign for a military pilot. We are brought up in an organization that actually cares about US. Yes, there are exceptions to the rule, but when push comes to shove the USAF does its best to take care of us and run top cover for us when we make a mistake. This is what we have come to expect from our "employer".

It was a big shock for me to hear from the reservists in my squadron who also flew for the majors that...in the civilian flying world, your employer doesn't give a crap about you. They only care about the Bottom Line, and if you're getting in the way of that, then you as a pilot are expendable. If you don't fly a sortie because you think the airplane is unsafe, then the airline will simply boot you out of the way and find someone who WILL go fly it. If you accidentally get violated, the airline will feed you to the wolves to cover it's own behind.

Once I understood this fact, I understood the need for the pilot union. The union is the group that DOES watch your back and performs all the functions that we military guys have come to expect our employer to provide.
 
Yep, me and my girl split the sheets a few months ago after 10 years...Official cause, AIDS (Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome). She wasn't really keen on the fact that I was going to be on call 24/7, gone all the time, being exposed to way to much hot squish, acting like a child, and buzzing around the skies. The really stupid part is she could have gone with me most times and she likes flying, I don't understand women.:banghead:
 
NW_Pilot said:
Yep, me and my girl split the sheets a few months ago after 10 years...Official cause, AIDS (Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome). She wasn't really keen on the fact that I was going to be on call 24/7, gone all the time, being exposed to way to much hot squish, acting like a child, and buzzing around the skies. The really stupid part is she could have gone with me most times and she likes flying, I don't understand women.:banghead:
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It seems like once you're in the relationship, women like you to beg them to do anything. ---- that.

Sorry to hear of your long relationship go to nothing, though.
 
Depends on where you are at and what's going on I think...

We had that happen to a guy in my ground school class.. He was on about sim 3 when it happened.. They sent him home for a week to get his head straight..
 
taseal said:
thx for the kind words guys :( Our problem was long distance. She was in TX and I was FL. I couldn't move there because the apt that I bought can't be rented out for 2 years, and I don't want to sell again so soon. She can't come here because her school is WAY too much money here (out of state etc). If it wasn't for this house, I would have moved there and things would have been 10000x better. I guess everything happens for a reason. I still will probably end up living around her because I want express jet, and that is pretty close to her. Speaking of Express Jet, I hope they have a good policy that works with their pilots! :)

and Kellwolf, I'm pretty sad, and in a real ###### mood and all, but I don't think I'll ever be in a situation that I will need to go to a dr. for depression issues, after all this isn't the 1st one that broke my heart. She was the most serious one i've been with, and the one that worked out the best, but I know time cures everything, and its a free prescription lol.

I will tell you though, when people break my heart, I lose alot of weight really quick, so thats kind of good I guess haha, I could use shaving off like 10 lbs
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So I was in my emails looking for something and I ran into an email from this forum...

9 years has passed since I made this post. I didn't end up being a commercial pilot, but a police officer in florida. and also ended up with 2 kids and a wife. Funny how life changes. It's also amusing to readback some of the stuff I posted here nearly a decade ago. Feels like time travel lol.
 
taseal said:
So I was in my emails looking for something and I ran into an email from this forum...

9 years has passed since I made this post. I didn't end up being a commercial pilot, but a police officer in florida. and also ended up with 2 kids and a wife. Funny how life changes. It's also amusing to readback some of the stuff I posted here nearly a decade ago. Feels like time travel lol.
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Normally when I see a 10 year old necropost I think "ah man, really?", but in this case, this was actually cool to read. It's kind of a good indicator that no matter how crappy things seem they can always turn around. I went through a horrible break up with what I thought was "the one" about a couple years ago. A year and a half later and I have to laugh about what a bullet I dodged and how much better off I am.
 
taseal said:
I didn't end up being a commercial pilot, but a police officer in florida. and also ended up with 2 kids and a wife.
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Glad to hear things worked out great for you, even though it didn't quite take the path you expected. Life is truely funny like that.

Also funny is how many go from flying to law enforcement or the other way around.
 
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