Penguins, SWA and the TSA, oh my!


If specified, this will replace the title that
DALLAS, Texas (AP) -- Southwest Airlines is seeking the government's approval to bring back its popular SeaWorld penguin tours, in which two of the tuxedoed waddlers are put on jets to promote the amusement park as a summer destination.

The promotion was shut down after the September 11 terrorist attacks, and some security concerns must be addressed before the promotion can restart.

"One of the things that they mentioned was, `Would it be possible that we would be able to wand the animals?"' said Melanie Jones, creative manager for the Dallas-based carrier.

SeaWorld and Southwest Airlines have worked since the 1980s to lure business to parks in San Antonio, Texas; San Diego, California; and Orlando, Florida. Southwest flew SeaWorld animals -- most often their penguins, but sometimes parrots -- to cities that have nonstop flights to the parks.

"If we can find a way to make this happen, far be it from us to not say yes," said Ed Martelle, spokesman for the Transportation Security Administration. "The trick is being able to do this and not compromise security."

Southwest has been informed that whatever animals would be brought would be subject to wanding at the security checkpoint.

SeaWorld officials say that's OK since the penguins travel well and are used to being handled.

"We feel like they really brighten people's days," said Fran Stephenson, SeaWorld's spokeswoman in San Antonio. "Besides, they don't have any pockets to empty."

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Leave it to the TSA to suspect penguins of foul play.

I can see the headlines now - "Joes Cheap --- Airlines' Jet Downed by Armed Penguin Attack Squad, TSA says 'they didn't have any pockets'"

Somebody, please, point me to reality ...
Somebody, please, point me to reality ...

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Well don't go to the Squawk Box lookin' for reality!
SeaWorld should stop using those militant Mid-East Penguins.


That makes as much sense as subjecting granny to a strip search because some TSA degenerate either A) Gets off on it or B) Can't imagine why an 80 year lady would have an artificial hip.

Well don't go to the Squawk Box lookin' for reality!

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Nah, I just go there to make fun of the Republicans!

(just waiting ... )
Wait that whole bit about wanding the penguins and possible breaches of security by animals wasn't a joke?????
Or maybe they were referring to the Pittsburgh Penguins. I mean, those eastern Europeans -- can you really trust them?

Lemme tell you about the TSA in DCA.

I lug around my laptop, so I take out my laptop and put it in the tub, unhook my flight kit from my suitcase and prop them both up on the conveyor belt.

I take off my hat and plop into another tub and place in on the conveyor.

"Take off your shoes" exclaims the TSA.

"Umm, ok. Are you sure because there is no metal in them".

"Take off your shoes."

So I take off my shoes, place them in another tub and all of my materials, including shoes, are scanned.

The TSA agent looks at me and says, "There is no metal in your shoes"

I reply, "Yeah, I know."

He says, "Well, why did you remove them?"

"Beacuse you instructed me to"

"But there's no metal in them, you shouldn't scan them next time because you're holding up the line"

Fine whatever. Meanwhile another TSA agent flags my laptop and puts it through about 5 minutes of scanning, chemical sniffing, etc.

Meanwhile, the captain is laughing his ass off.
This reminds me of the Taco-Bell post in Squawkbox.

Are we sure TSA doesn't stand for Taco-Bell Service Agency?

At Dulles they made me take of my Flojo sandals. Must not like Californians! I got the same you didn't have to take off your sandals. Tax dollars at work!
"But there's no metal in them, you shouldn't scan them next time because you're holding up the line"

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Circular logic at it's finest. Our tax dollars hard at work!

I guess next time, you could ask if he/she has had a good nap recently and see how that goes over.