My condolences to you, John. After reading about your father, it seems he was a hero to more than just you. Your family will be in my thoughts.
Passing of a Hero
- Thread starter Mr_Creepy
- Start date
I think the hardest part for me when my dad passed was that we were each other's heroes.
My dad was really proud of me because I set out to do what I said I always wanted to do and had focus. I stayed out of trouble and just knowing that my dad was proud and supportive of me meant the world.
I was proud of my dad because he grew up in a horrible social time in Alabama, moved to California to raise a family in a more open society and worked his tail off. He always had the entreprenurial (sp?) spirit and did what was right, not because it was legal or expected, but just that being friendly, helpful and spreading a little sunshine was honorable and the right thing to do.
Buying a car, a house, getting married, even trying to figure out how to best cut the lawn brings back fond memories of working with my dad. I guess you could say that for most of my life, my dad was a pickup truck and I was an Australian Shepherd. Wherever that truck went, so did I!
It's going to be difficult and if you want to swap stories or need a little encouragement thru the process, lemme know, seriously. It's been almost six years for me and when it gets a little quiet, it gets a little difficult to this day. But what really helps me is that I still carry around my dads obit in my flight kit so that way he's actually flying with me. Call me a weirdo if you will, but when my father died, it hit like a 200 gigaton thermonuclear bomb and every little thing helps.
My dad was terminally ill for about a year and I was racing against the clock so we could both enjoy the experience of me flying my dad on a big jet somewhere. Unfortunately, he beat me!
But take a look in the mirror, both physically and psychologically, your dad will always be with you. Because whether we like it or not, we do become our fathers.
My dad was really proud of me because I set out to do what I said I always wanted to do and had focus. I stayed out of trouble and just knowing that my dad was proud and supportive of me meant the world.
I was proud of my dad because he grew up in a horrible social time in Alabama, moved to California to raise a family in a more open society and worked his tail off. He always had the entreprenurial (sp?) spirit and did what was right, not because it was legal or expected, but just that being friendly, helpful and spreading a little sunshine was honorable and the right thing to do.
Buying a car, a house, getting married, even trying to figure out how to best cut the lawn brings back fond memories of working with my dad. I guess you could say that for most of my life, my dad was a pickup truck and I was an Australian Shepherd. Wherever that truck went, so did I!
It's going to be difficult and if you want to swap stories or need a little encouragement thru the process, lemme know, seriously. It's been almost six years for me and when it gets a little quiet, it gets a little difficult to this day. But what really helps me is that I still carry around my dads obit in my flight kit so that way he's actually flying with me. Call me a weirdo if you will, but when my father died, it hit like a 200 gigaton thermonuclear bomb and every little thing helps.
My dad was terminally ill for about a year and I was racing against the clock so we could both enjoy the experience of me flying my dad on a big jet somewhere. Unfortunately, he beat me!
But take a look in the mirror, both physically and psychologically, your dad will always be with you. Because whether we like it or not, we do become our fathers.
Ecl!pse
Well-Known Member
Doug, my dad has a similar story. My grandfather lost his job when my dad was around 14, and ended up bartending. My dad paid for his own college, car, everything. My grandpa was a big smoker, and thats what took his life (lung cancer). It was hard for my dad, becuase he is a doctor, and knew there was really nothing that could be done. Its a tough part of life, and thats why we have significant others and friends to help us get through it.
So sorry to hear about your loss. I know it's hard, I've been to three times as many funerals as weddings, in my short fifteen years. Yes, unfortunatly the passing of time is the only way to recover from such a tragedy, the loss of a parent. My thoughts and prayers are with you john.
Tim
Tim
donttouchanything
New Member
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This is a new phase of life for me. Dad has always been there before, as a "safety net" - now I'm truly on my own.
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John,
Interesting you should say that. I was very young when my Grandmother passed so have little memory of it. However I was 16 when my Grandfather died and I vividly remember to this day coming home to a darkened house to find my Dad sitting alone listening to Glenn Miller. I sat down and kept quite and after the passing of some minutes my father intimated to me that he was now an “orphan”. As a young man I had little understanding of his meaning. Today as I have matured, I have become a caretaker to my own father who’s been devastated by diabetes; I empathize with his feelings of so many years ago.
Such a process this thing called life is. We start as children, become fathers and in the end are children again.
But, I believe that we are never truly alone, a parent’s love transcends all the physical trappings of this mortal life. I’m sure in the hard times to come you’ll hear a familiar comforting voice.
This is a new phase of life for me. Dad has always been there before, as a "safety net" - now I'm truly on my own.
[/ QUOTE ]
John,
Interesting you should say that. I was very young when my Grandmother passed so have little memory of it. However I was 16 when my Grandfather died and I vividly remember to this day coming home to a darkened house to find my Dad sitting alone listening to Glenn Miller. I sat down and kept quite and after the passing of some minutes my father intimated to me that he was now an “orphan”. As a young man I had little understanding of his meaning. Today as I have matured, I have become a caretaker to my own father who’s been devastated by diabetes; I empathize with his feelings of so many years ago.
Such a process this thing called life is. We start as children, become fathers and in the end are children again.
But, I believe that we are never truly alone, a parent’s love transcends all the physical trappings of this mortal life. I’m sure in the hard times to come you’ll hear a familiar comforting voice.
WillNotFly4Food
Well-Known Member
Sorry for your loss, John. He sounds like a father anyone would be proud of.
Mustang17c
Well-Known Member
Condolences to you and your family John.
Your father led a very impressive life, John. He certainly had a positive impact on this world. You should be very proud.
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Monday, April 12, 2004
John R. Tenney, 74, of New Hartford, passed away Friday, April 9, 2004 at Albany Medical Center. He was born March 4, 1930 in North Arlington, NJ, the son of the late George and Alice Weidman Tenney. He graduated from Ridgewood High School, Ridgewood, NJ, in 1947, received a B.A. in History from Colgate University in 1952 and his law degree from Cornell University in 1955. He married on July 28, 1956 to Cynthia Roberts of Hamilton, NY. From 1955 to 1957, he practiced law with Thomas F. Keane in Brooklyn. He served as Assistant Attorney General and Trial Counsel for New York Attorney General Louis J. Lefkowicz from 1957 to 1958 under Governor Nelson A. Rockefeller. He then moved to Utica and worked as a trial lawyer with Lockwood & Vaughn from 1958 to 1961, and joined the firm of Ferris, Kehoe, Cardamone & Tenney in 1961, which became Ferris, Kehoe, Tenney & Murnane from 1963 to 1968. In 1968, at the age of 38, he was elected to serve his first term as a New York Supreme Court Justice for the Fifth Judicial District. He was elected to serve two more fourteen-year terms in 1982 and 1996. In 1997, he suffered an aortal aneurysm that left him confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. He continued to serve full-time as a Supreme Court Justice until his retirement in May 2003. He retired as one of the longest serving Supreme Court Justices in New York State. Prior to retirement, Judge Tenney served as the Senior Trial Justice in Oneida County; Chairman of the Jury Board and Law Library Board; Administrator of Mental Health Information Service; Associate Editor and Contributing Author, Judge's Bench Book; author of many published and unpublished decisions in many diverse areas including such landmark cases as Committee of Raul Mora, which defined the criteria for determination of death and removal of life support systems; Auer v. Dyson, finding the Power Authority in violation of prior court order and directing refunds to affected municipalities; and Holden v. Chapman, concerning institutional issues with Mark David Chapman (the assassin of John Lennon). He served as an Officer and Director of the Association of Supreme Court Judges and was President in 1993. He was a presiding member of the Council of Judicial Associations of the New York State Bar Association. He served as Chairman of the Oneida County Republican Committee from 1962 to 1968, and was a Delegate to the Republican National Convention in 1964 and 1968. He was a member of the American Bar Association, New York State Bar Association (Member of the House of Delegates) and Oneida County Bar Association. He received the Award of Merit from the New York State Trial Lawyers Association and the Merit Award from the New York School of Psychiatry. He received recognition for his service to the members of the Bar from the Oneida and Herkimer County Bar Associations. He also received citations recognizing his service from: the President of the United States; the U.S. House of Representatives; the Governor of New York State; the Assembly of New York State; Onondaga, Oneida, Oswego and Herkimer Counties; the City of Utica and the Oneida County Sheriff's Department. He served as an Officer and Director of the Mid-York Press, Inc. from 1959 to 1968. He and his wife Cynthia founded the Oneida-Madison Pennysaver, Inc. in 1964 and he served as President from 1964 to 1968. He served as a Director of the Norwich Publishing Co. He served as President and Chairman of the Board of Managers of Faxton Hospital from 1971 to 1986 and received their community service award. He served as an Officer and Director of the Otsego Sailing Club in Cooperstown, NY from 1963 to 1980. He served as an Officer and Director of the U.S. Highlander Association from 1970 to 1978 and was Editor-In-Chief of its publication, The Highlander magazine. A member of the Yahnundasis Golf Club, he was President in 1985 and 1986. He was an Officer and Director of the Utica Curling Club and a member of the New York State Seniors Golf Association. He was a former member of New Hartford Kiwanis. He is survived by his wife, Cynthia; five children, two sons and their spouses, John and Kathleen Tenney of Orlando, FL, Robert and Rosemarie Tenney of Sherburne, NY, three daughters, Claudia Tenney of New Hartford, Jane (Betsy) and her husband Will Lewis of Vail, CO, and Julia Tenney of Somerville, MA; eight grandchildren, Wayne (Trey) Cleary III, Kyle Tenney, Anastasia Tenney, Marianne Tenney, Grace Tenney, Jack Lewis, Laura Tenney and Cameron Lewis; one sister, Eleanor Winder of Waldwick, NJ; five brothers, George Tenney and his wife Lucille of Glendale, CA, James Tenney of Little Egg Harbor, NJ, Alan Tenney of Teaneck, NJ, Harry Tenney and his wife Elizabeth of Charlottesville, VA, and Carl Tenney and his wife Joan of Columbia, SC; a half-sister, Gail Tenney from Mahwah, NJ; a sister-in-law, Harriet Tenney of Groton, NY; and many nieces and nephews, including Deborah and Mark Gill of Spencerport, NY, and Doreen and Michael Friedel of Rochester, NY. He was predeceased by two brothers and a sister-in-law, William Tenney from Groton, NY and Donald and Dale Tenney from Whitesboro, NY. A Memorial Service will be Friday, April 16, 2004 at 11 a.m. at the Westminster Presbyterian Church, 714 Washington Street, Utica, NY, with the Rev. Dr. Robert Umidi and Rev. Paul Drobin officiating. There are no calling hours. The family will receive relatives and friends at the Fort Schuyler Club, corner of Genesee and Court Streets, Utica, NY, at the conclusion of the memorial service. In lieu of flowers, kindly consider the Community Foundation of Herkimer & Oneida Counties, 270 Genesee St., Utica, NY 13502, for a fund to be established in Judge Tenney's memory. Arrangements are with the Bentz Funeral Service, Inc., 470 French Road, Utica/New Hartford.
[/ QUOTE ]
Above is from the Utica Observer-Dispatch.
[ QUOTE ]
Monday, April 12, 2004
John R. Tenney, 74, of New Hartford, passed away Friday, April 9, 2004 at Albany Medical Center. He was born March 4, 1930 in North Arlington, NJ, the son of the late George and Alice Weidman Tenney. He graduated from Ridgewood High School, Ridgewood, NJ, in 1947, received a B.A. in History from Colgate University in 1952 and his law degree from Cornell University in 1955. He married on July 28, 1956 to Cynthia Roberts of Hamilton, NY. From 1955 to 1957, he practiced law with Thomas F. Keane in Brooklyn. He served as Assistant Attorney General and Trial Counsel for New York Attorney General Louis J. Lefkowicz from 1957 to 1958 under Governor Nelson A. Rockefeller. He then moved to Utica and worked as a trial lawyer with Lockwood & Vaughn from 1958 to 1961, and joined the firm of Ferris, Kehoe, Cardamone & Tenney in 1961, which became Ferris, Kehoe, Tenney & Murnane from 1963 to 1968. In 1968, at the age of 38, he was elected to serve his first term as a New York Supreme Court Justice for the Fifth Judicial District. He was elected to serve two more fourteen-year terms in 1982 and 1996. In 1997, he suffered an aortal aneurysm that left him confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. He continued to serve full-time as a Supreme Court Justice until his retirement in May 2003. He retired as one of the longest serving Supreme Court Justices in New York State. Prior to retirement, Judge Tenney served as the Senior Trial Justice in Oneida County; Chairman of the Jury Board and Law Library Board; Administrator of Mental Health Information Service; Associate Editor and Contributing Author, Judge's Bench Book; author of many published and unpublished decisions in many diverse areas including such landmark cases as Committee of Raul Mora, which defined the criteria for determination of death and removal of life support systems; Auer v. Dyson, finding the Power Authority in violation of prior court order and directing refunds to affected municipalities; and Holden v. Chapman, concerning institutional issues with Mark David Chapman (the assassin of John Lennon). He served as an Officer and Director of the Association of Supreme Court Judges and was President in 1993. He was a presiding member of the Council of Judicial Associations of the New York State Bar Association. He served as Chairman of the Oneida County Republican Committee from 1962 to 1968, and was a Delegate to the Republican National Convention in 1964 and 1968. He was a member of the American Bar Association, New York State Bar Association (Member of the House of Delegates) and Oneida County Bar Association. He received the Award of Merit from the New York State Trial Lawyers Association and the Merit Award from the New York School of Psychiatry. He received recognition for his service to the members of the Bar from the Oneida and Herkimer County Bar Associations. He also received citations recognizing his service from: the President of the United States; the U.S. House of Representatives; the Governor of New York State; the Assembly of New York State; Onondaga, Oneida, Oswego and Herkimer Counties; the City of Utica and the Oneida County Sheriff's Department. He served as an Officer and Director of the Mid-York Press, Inc. from 1959 to 1968. He and his wife Cynthia founded the Oneida-Madison Pennysaver, Inc. in 1964 and he served as President from 1964 to 1968. He served as a Director of the Norwich Publishing Co. He served as President and Chairman of the Board of Managers of Faxton Hospital from 1971 to 1986 and received their community service award. He served as an Officer and Director of the Otsego Sailing Club in Cooperstown, NY from 1963 to 1980. He served as an Officer and Director of the U.S. Highlander Association from 1970 to 1978 and was Editor-In-Chief of its publication, The Highlander magazine. A member of the Yahnundasis Golf Club, he was President in 1985 and 1986. He was an Officer and Director of the Utica Curling Club and a member of the New York State Seniors Golf Association. He was a former member of New Hartford Kiwanis. He is survived by his wife, Cynthia; five children, two sons and their spouses, John and Kathleen Tenney of Orlando, FL, Robert and Rosemarie Tenney of Sherburne, NY, three daughters, Claudia Tenney of New Hartford, Jane (Betsy) and her husband Will Lewis of Vail, CO, and Julia Tenney of Somerville, MA; eight grandchildren, Wayne (Trey) Cleary III, Kyle Tenney, Anastasia Tenney, Marianne Tenney, Grace Tenney, Jack Lewis, Laura Tenney and Cameron Lewis; one sister, Eleanor Winder of Waldwick, NJ; five brothers, George Tenney and his wife Lucille of Glendale, CA, James Tenney of Little Egg Harbor, NJ, Alan Tenney of Teaneck, NJ, Harry Tenney and his wife Elizabeth of Charlottesville, VA, and Carl Tenney and his wife Joan of Columbia, SC; a half-sister, Gail Tenney from Mahwah, NJ; a sister-in-law, Harriet Tenney of Groton, NY; and many nieces and nephews, including Deborah and Mark Gill of Spencerport, NY, and Doreen and Michael Friedel of Rochester, NY. He was predeceased by two brothers and a sister-in-law, William Tenney from Groton, NY and Donald and Dale Tenney from Whitesboro, NY. A Memorial Service will be Friday, April 16, 2004 at 11 a.m. at the Westminster Presbyterian Church, 714 Washington Street, Utica, NY, with the Rev. Dr. Robert Umidi and Rev. Paul Drobin officiating. There are no calling hours. The family will receive relatives and friends at the Fort Schuyler Club, corner of Genesee and Court Streets, Utica, NY, at the conclusion of the memorial service. In lieu of flowers, kindly consider the Community Foundation of Herkimer & Oneida Counties, 270 Genesee St., Utica, NY 13502, for a fund to be established in Judge Tenney's memory. Arrangements are with the Bentz Funeral Service, Inc., 470 French Road, Utica/New Hartford.
[/ QUOTE ]
Above is from the Utica Observer-Dispatch.
sbe
Well-Known Member
John, I'm so sorry. My father passed away in 2002 under circumstances not too dissimilar from yours, and I know exactly what you are going through. I had feelings of guilt because I was out taking a flying lesson when he unexpectedly slipped into a coma. I thankfully made it to the hospital in time to be there when he passed. My mom assured me I was doing what he would have wanted me to, but it didn't help at the time.
Time does help heal but it takes a good deal of it. I don't have someone to harp at me for going 500 miles over on my oil change. He wanted to be at the airport when I soloed and he missed it by two weeks. I think to date that was the most bittersweet moment in my life.
My grandfather presented my father with these pewter cufflinks when he passed his private checkride. They are rectangular and have a stone-type texture with a 172 carved into them. My mom gave them to me the day before my private checkride; they were in my flight bag on my ride so I felt like my dad was riding along with me. I then put one of them into a little shadowbox with that first temporary airman's certificate, the other I had made into a pendant that I wear almost every time I go flying.
You and your family are in my thoughts.
Sarah
Time does help heal but it takes a good deal of it. I don't have someone to harp at me for going 500 miles over on my oil change. He wanted to be at the airport when I soloed and he missed it by two weeks. I think to date that was the most bittersweet moment in my life.
My grandfather presented my father with these pewter cufflinks when he passed his private checkride. They are rectangular and have a stone-type texture with a 172 carved into them. My mom gave them to me the day before my private checkride; they were in my flight bag on my ride so I felt like my dad was riding along with me. I then put one of them into a little shadowbox with that first temporary airman's certificate, the other I had made into a pendant that I wear almost every time I go flying.
You and your family are in my thoughts.
Sarah
Mr_Creepy
Well-Known Member
We had the memorial service today. Among others, I spoke, Kathleen sang, and Dad's clerk told stories about The Judge that truly captured his wacky sense of humor. There was a lot of laughs and a lot of crying, so I think it was the perfect way to send him off.
Over 500 people attended, including about 350 lawyers. Ya know, one well placed bomb ....
I feel much better now that we have given him a proper good bye.
Over 500 people attended, including about 350 lawyers. Ya know, one well placed bomb ....
I feel much better now that we have given him a proper good bye.
