Not so funny things your parents do

Kestrel452

Kestrel452

Well-Known Member
I can remember back in the day, 7 years old and getting on a commercial plane for the first time (first one I remember anyways) and thinking to myself "wouldn't it be neat to be the captain". Nevertheless, 7 years old and at grandmas house for a family party, my aunt asks me what I want to be when I grow up. I vividly remember saying "i want to be a professional pilot".

Let's skip the drama and get to the nitty gritty, my parents are psychotic in terms of pushing their own agenda on me. I recently got a few great admissions to transfer from my current college to one that offers pro flight. My father exploded at me when I said "whether or not you pay for it, i'm majoring in professional flight". He went absolutely beserk, telling me things that basically meant i was being a selfish dumbass. He refused to let my mother drive me back to Purdue, and put me on a train immediately back to college while still on break.

He knows I have gotten acceptances, he seems the mail all the time. He ignores it all, and whenever people ask what I plan on doing he says 'engineering', thinking he can wiggle flying out of my head. I may sound like a ranting Shiny Jet Syndrome quarantee but I know its the job for me, and I just genuinely want to become a pilot come hell or high water.

Now I must put myself 100k in the hole through loans, and i know i'll have to structure my repayment to be income-sensitive. Maybe him saying he wont pay for my college if i do this is a threat, i dont really know. Anyone else have this issue?:confused:
 
As a parent, I think it's really sad when parents can not let go of what THEY want their kids to be and let their kids be who they want to be.

I talk about possible future jobs with my little guys all the time. They're only 4 and 5 right now, but I tell them that they can do all sorts of things for their job when they're older. My older one likes to help in the kitchen, help fix things & put things together, and is fascinated with plumbing & electricity. So we talk about how there are people who go to work and cook for their jobs, there are people who design & install plumbing and electrical systems, and there are people who fix all kinds of things for their jobs. If it's something he has an aptitude for and likes to do, I hope he'll go for it.

Doing what you want to do may mean paying your own way through school. Please remember you are your own person and an adult now. Your life is YOURS to live. Do keep in mind that you do not need a degree in flight science of any kind to be a pilot, but if studying flying is what will keep you interested and motivate you to get the degree, then just get the degree. A degree in something other than flying is helpful in a broad sense of education, and it can serve you well as the foundation for a second or back-up career, but ultimately, just get the degree.

It doesn't sound like you are expecting your parents to pay for your school, which I commend. No one is entitled to a college education from their parents. My folks couldn't afford to pay for me or my brother to go through school, and somehow we've both managed pretty damn well on our own.
 
Well my parents have always backed me up about my wanting to be a pilot, but they still won't pay for my schooling. I ended up joining the Air National Guard to help pay for school. They will cover 75% of the tuition, and as long as your a full time student they will pay you almost $800.00/month, all for only working two days a month!!! And with some jobs such as mine, KC-135 Crew Chief, you can get a $20,000 cash sign on bonus. The bonus is taxed but still after all is said and done you walk away with about $14,000 extra in your pocket. Put that towards paying off your truck payments and getting your insturment rating :nana2:

If your on your own like I am, I would suggest the Guard. Its almost like free money. All you have to do is suck it up for basic, and its all green grass from there.
 
While I think it's great when parents care about their kid's education enough to foot the bill for college, I think it is better for the kid when they pay for it themselves. It gives them ownership of their education and makes them really understand the value.

I feel for ya, Kestral - I went to college on my Father's demands right out of HS in 1992. I didn't want to go in the first place and didn't want the constant input he garnered simply from being the bill-payer. After one semester I quit, joined the Army, and struck out on my own. While my Dad resisted initially, once he realized he wasn't responsibly for me anymore our relation improved tremendously.

Five years later I went back to college on my own terms and did very well simply because I was personally motivated to do it.
 
Ian J said:
While I think it's great when parents care about their kid's education enough to foot the bill for college, I think it is better for the kid when they pay for it themselves. It gives them ownership of their education and makes them really understand the value.
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:yeahthat: B-E-A-UTIFUL post Ian! This is what I did (parents couldn't afford it anyway) and I wouldn't have it any other way. That being said, after going through college and working in a field I knew nothing about before college...I would tell my kids one thing: Do what you love/makes you happy. I don't mean being a cashier at Kwik-E-Mart because I will always push higher education on them. The difference being that, to me, higher education still includes trade schools or apprenticeship programs and not just college.

In the end you are your own person. If they are paying for college then I think they should have some say in your future, but not an outright lock on the choices. Follow your heart and don't ever regret it.
 
pullup said:
:yeahthat: B-E-A-UTIFUL post Ian! This is what I did (parents couldn't afford it anyway) and I wouldn't have it any other way. That being said, after going through college and working in a field I knew nothing about before college...I would tell my kids one thing: Do what you love/makes you happy. I don't mean being a cashier at Kwik-E-Mart because I will always push higher education on them. The difference being that, to me, higher education still includes trade schools or apprenticeship programs and not just college.

In the end you are your own person. If they are paying for college then I think they should have some say in your future, but not an outright lock on the choices. Follow your heart and don't ever regret it.
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:yeahthat:

It's your life, not theirs. You are the one that has to live with your choices. If you want to do this as bad as it sounds, go for it. Personally I think this whole career is so screwed up I'd discourage anyone from getting into it, but in the end that's not my decison. I'm still glad I chose to do this and I think it would be way worse to be trapped in a career I hated.
 
My father has always been 100% supportive of what I do. He knows that I am where I am today because of how he raised me to be. He says he'll be proud of me as long as I'm successful and happy in whatever I wish to do.

My mother is a bit standoffish, but she eventually gets used to it. She doesn't like the idea that I want to be a pilot, but she'll get over it. Just like she got over it when I initally bought a motorcycle. She has no qualms with it 2 years later as long as I'm safe.

Paying for your own schooling really motivates you to do your best. I don't have any tutition reimbursement at the moment and pay strictly out of pocket. So if I fail a class, that's a $1,000 F. Uh, that's NO good.

I'm majoring in Engineering, but I don't plan on going into it. I'm going to be a pilot. The engineering degree will just provide me a very good paying fall back career if I ever need it.
 
Parasite said:
I'm majoring in Engineering, but I don't plan on going into it. I'm going to be a pilot. The engineering degree will just provide me a very good paying fall back career if I ever need it.
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Great Idea. I went to WMU and majored in flying a was very fortunate to get a lot of support from my parents. I however, wish I would have majored in something else and learned to fly under part 61.

I would recommend that anyone want to learn how to fly to go for it. If you work hard you can acheive your goals. I just don't recommend putting all your eggs in one basket. Outside of aviation I am not sure what a degree in Aviation Flight Science does for me. A engineering or Computer degree would be nice to fall back.
 
DUDE!!!!!!!!


If you are fortunate enough to have your parents pay for your college, then just keep going to college. You do not have to "major in prof aviation", just search the thread for how many people recommend getting a degree in something different. Let your folks shell out the money for your degree while you put every dime you make into flight training at your local FBO.
 
I agree with Ian, I paid for (took a loan for) every dime of my college and flight training, gave me a sense of ownership and desire to succeed as soon as possible. Even with that my father has tried to control my flying career, basically he has shiny jet syndrome and I don't, I have float plane in the Caribbean syndrome.
 
It's true on the whole "pay for your own school" thing. My parents paid for my first two and a half years, and my grades we in the "Eh" category. It was my first time away from home, first time having a girlfriend and first time without anyone staring over my shoulder. You can see the train wreck coming, right? Yeah, I wound up dropping out.

Curiously, now that I'm paying for it myself, I'm gonna graduate with honors.
 
go study what you want and do what you want. It's your long term happiness that matters. I was forunate enough to have parents that mostly back me up. In high school I took a EMT class at the local vocational school my parents paid for my certification, then I decided I didn't want to do that. Then right after H.S. I went to school in FL for Flight Attendant training and they paid for that (then helped support me for 3 years while I was a FA pay sucked!) But when they paid for that they said if I changed my mind and wanted to go to school for something else that I had to pay for it myself. They would support my decisions and help me through school, but I have to get my own loans. I am back in school this time to get my A&P. When its all said and done I will have to pay back about 20grand(-/+) Lucky for grants! I plan on going to an aircraft overhaul center or a manufacturer. I also plan on getting a helio license after a while.


but anyway good luck and apply for loans and grants.
 
I had this this situation somewhat when I was a kid. Doesn't sound as emotional as yours, but the fact pattern was the same. You can do what I did and that is to go on your own. As Ian said it improves the relationship tremendously. Bottom line is that you are on his dime and he doesn't want you doing this. A college education isn't a birthright, so if you want to go the subsidized route, follow those rules. If you want to be your own man, choose that and accept the responsibilities that come with it - which it sounds like you have. You really should look at some of the advice on here perhaps - the constant chime for a back-up degree out of aviation, the good advice to go the FBO route to save money, etc. If you can get an engineering degree as he wants, and can get your ratings on the side at an FBO then you are golden - he can pay for the undergrad and you still march on toward your ratings and an aviation career.
 
I'm not saying this will be you, but I work with a guy who went to a major aviation university, financed everything, and now has about 200K to pay back in this economy.

I'm going to just ditto what everyone else has said around here, go to college for something else besides aviation, do your ratings on the side as you can pay for them or finance them on really good terms, and enjoy the ride a bit.

A side benefit of this approach is maybe getting your parents to pony up for the college education.

Something else to seriously consider is the military, either guard or active duty, to finance your education. Go into an aviation related field and you'll learn a lot which will always be valuable to you later on.
 
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