Military service doesn't make me a hero.

I know inflection is invisible over the internet, so please don't think my question is glib.

What is the appropriate way to thank a vet for their service? I wish to express my gratitude, but I certainly don't want to embarrass anyone.

Live your live as someone who is proud to be an American citizen, and do your best to uphold American values. That's what our servicemen and women are defending.
 
Live your live as someone who is proud to be an American citizen, and do your best to uphold American values. That's what our servicemen and women are defending.

I would argue yes and no. What makes this place great is you can live however you please. You don't have to follow "typical American values" if you don't want.
 
I've always felt awkward about this as well, so no, you're not the only one.
I don't ever really know what to say, so I usually just smile and say "you're welcome" but it just feels weird.

As far as being a support "FOBBIT" and not feeling like you did anything special, don't underestimate your value to the mission.
Keeping those helicopters ready so they can go when they're needed most is HUGE, and possibly life-saving for the grunt(s) depending on it.
 
I simply accept their thank you and say "Youre welcome, glad to do it."

I usually just smile and say "you're welcome" but it just feels weird.

I don't say 'you're welcome', as that seems to imply to me that it's about me. As others have said, I prefer to think that it's people thanking all of us as a group rather than me individually.

I simply thank them in return for the sentiment and drive on.

This is what I do....although it's still awkward.
 
Luckily never have to face this, as since I normally day-to-day look like I work on a construction or mining crew someplace, Im never mistaken for a servicemember. :)
 
Speak of the devil.

A gentleman just gave me a challenge coin that says thanks on it.
Even my dark heart feels warm sometimes.
 
I know you asked for the opinions of prior/current service members, but perhaps I can shed some light on this as a civilian...

I sort of think there is a social guilt-hangover that America has left over from Vietnam, and the lack of deference and recognition shown to returning vets. There really wasn't a sense of righteousness for that war, from what I remember and what I can tell - until the Vietnam Memorial was unveiled.

As a side note, if you haven't seen that up close, you need to. I visited it again this week. It's harrowing to a civilian. Mindfulness is called for.

Anyway, you didn't see many overt examples of civilian-military love until the first Gulf War, and then it was yellow ribbons and Lee Greenwood songs all over the place. I am not in any way denigrating people's sense of patriotism, but I also got the sense that some people have really overcompensated in that area.

I went to the airshow at Andrews this weekend, and got to talk to a V-22 driver for a while. Real nice cat. I was about to "thank him for his service," and I stopped myself. Instead I said, "thanks for flying this thing. I'm glad you're out there." He smiled and said, "thanks for letting me fly it."

There was something about the specificity that made it a not-awkward moment.

Anyway. Just my two-bits.
 
As someone who grew up in military bases, I know that only a small minority see combat. However, everyone has to spend a ton if time away from their family, no matter what the job they do. Granted I don't know what combat is like, but personally I think the deployments away from family would be more difficult than combat. That is exactly why the military was not an option for me. Call me selfish, but my family is more important to me than this country ever will be.
Just what I was thinking when I read the first post. In my eyes, I don't care if you're a cook, anybody that chooses to and spends that much time away from their loved ones is making a pretty big sacrifice. Certainly not heroic (a term that gets thrown around a little too liberally these days), but I think it is something that deserves gratitude and recognition.
 
Luckily never have to face this, as since I normally day-to-day look like I work on a construction or mining crew someplace, Im never mistaken for a servicemember. :)

Oh, come on now. Everyone knows the Air Force used you for their recruiting posters.
 

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My team leader and I were traveling through DFW back in '05 on our way back to Iraq. We stopped at the Chili's in B terminal for dinner. When we asked for the check, we were told that our meals had been paid for anonymously, and that we were to be thanked for our service.

That was a nice. That said, sometimes I feel a little odd when my background comes up and somebody feels the need to say the key phrase. It's not really so much a big deal, though. It's something I did, and personally, I think that when people in American *stop* saying that, we're all in a lot of trouble. I admit I hesitate to bring up my service now sometimes.. but still. No reason to worry too much about it.
 
I always get a little embaresed when some civilian gushes "thank you for your service" as though I deserved the Medal of Honor for simply signing up.

I'm one of those gushy civilians. The service member will hear my words, but what he won't hear is the underlying emotion. The emotion that says "I'm not going to let you be treated the way other service members were treated by this county ....... people who didn't want to be where they were, but did their duty anyway ....... people who came back to the scorn of a very ungrateful populace ...... never again, not if I can help it".
 
I'm one of those gushy civilians. The service member will hear my words, but what he won't hear is the underlying emotion. The emotion that says "I'm not going to let you be treated the way other service members were treated by this county ....... people who didn't want to be where they were, but did their duty anyway ....... people who came back to the scorn of a very ungrateful populace ...... never again, not if I can help it".

mmmm.....kay
 
My team leader and I were traveling through DFW back in '05 on our way back to Iraq. We stopped at the Chili's in B terminal for dinner. When we asked for the check, we were told that our meals had been paid for anonymously, and that we were to be thanked for our service.

That was a nice. That said, sometimes I feel a little odd when my background comes up and somebody feels the need to say the key phrase. It's not really so much a big deal, though. It's something I did, and personally, I think that when people in American *stop* saying that, we're all in a lot of trouble. I admit I hesitate to bring up my service now sometimes.. but still. No reason to worry too much about it.


Probably stopped at the same Chili's on my way home for R&R. Beers started just showing up. Now THAT was the proper way to show appreciation.
Later, when that stupid general order was extended to all Soldiers/Marines/Sailors/Airmen traveling home in uniform, I would make the following announcement any time I saw someone in uniform boarding the airplane:
"For those in uniform, I understand General Order #1 prohibits the consumption of alcohol while you are traveling in uniform. Well, I am the captain of this aircraft and while you are on board this aircraft my orders take precedence over any other orders you have been given- even from a general officer. So for the duration of this flight General Order #1 is rescinded and the first beer is on me."
 
I've always felt awkward about this as well, so no, you're not the only one.
so I usually just smile and say "you're welcome" but it just feels weird.

My personal technique is to say "The real thanks go to my wife...she has to put up with alot more than I do." It's the truth and allows me to remain humble.
 
I'm one of those gushy civilians. The service member will hear my words, but what he won't hear is the underlying emotion. The emotion that says "I'm not going to let you be treated the way other service members were treated by this county ....... people who didn't want to be where they were, but did their duty anyway ....... people who came back to the scorn of a very ungrateful populace ...... never again, not if I can help it".

Despite all of our pontificating and complaining in this thread, that underlying sentiment is appreciated.
 
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On my way to Chicago, a gentlemen gave this to me.

That's pretty cool that the guy was just carrying it around, waiting to give it to someone. I think the most "heart-warming" event of this type I had, was sitting in a big open barn-style BBQ house in Midland, TX on the way home from a det. All of us were in bags, just eating lunch and being a-holes. Then this middle aged guy comes up with his teenage daughter, and she thanks us and said she wanted to meet us all. I found it to be particularly unusual given her apparent young age, but that was pretty neat. It always feels kind of awkward for me, especially since I have done nothing yet but burn dinosaurs stateside, but this one seemed very genuine and just friendly. I hope that if someday I am blessed with a pretty daughter like her, she will also share some of these values. I have no real career expectations of any children of mine, but the one thing that I do want to drive home to them, is that they need to do something in their life that is for a cause bigger than themselves or making money. Don't care if it is the military, the peace corps, politics, volunteering at a homeless shelter.....but I think it is a value that has been lost by the wayside in my lifetime at least.
 
I don't say 'you're welcome', as that seems to imply to me that it's about me. As others have said, I prefer to think that it's people thanking all of us as a group rather than me individually.

Agreed, I always say "Thanks for your support." I don't get much of that now since I am in the UK. :)
 
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