Military service doesn't make me a hero.

USMCmech

USMCmech

Well-Known Member
Am I the only one who feels this way?

I always get a little embaresed when some civilian gushes "thank you for your service" as though I deserved the Medal of Honor for simply signing up. I am proud of my time in the Corps, and I am a better man because of it. However, I don't feel as though I did anything special. I was a helo mechanic, and my job wasn't really any different than as a civilian. My job was important and I take pride in it, but I hardly charged the enemy with a bayonet.

I've seen many references in the media about how someone needs to be revered because they went to Iraq. "He was a hero who spent a year in Iraq and won the Purple Heart." A Purple Heart means you were unlucky, not a hero (sometimes). Just because you were deployed overseas doesn't mean you saw any action, indeed half of the guys who go overseas never leave their bases.

Now, the grunts in a line unit are generally a different story. Those guys absolutely deserve all the praise and more, but they are actually the minority in today's military.

What do the rest of you (prior)military guys think?
 
I agree as well....on the other hand, I just know that one day when I am not wearing the uniform any longer, it will be my responsibility to pass the same thanks along to the next generation of servicemembers.
 
I agree about the accolades, and the uneasy feeling.

I didn't do anything that any other person in my boots wouldn't do.

The one thing I don't particularity enjoy is the second questions I seem to get, "Have you killed anyone?"
 
Nark said:
I agree about the accolades, and the uneasy feeling.

I didn't do anything that any other person in my boots wouldn't do.

The one thing I don't particularity enjoy is the second questions I seem to get, "Have you killed anyone?"
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That's the one thing I was always taught not to ask that question of a service member
 
USMCmech said:
I always get a little embaresed when some civilian gushes "thank you for your service" as though I deserved the Medal of Honor for simply signing up.
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I know inflection is invisible over the internet, so please don't think my question is glib.

What is the appropriate way to thank a vet for their service? I wish to express my gratitude, but I certainly don't want to embarrass anyone.
 
Be thankful - it sure as hell beats getting ragged on or insulted by someone who knows nothing of what your service did or did not consist of.

My experience with locals in Columbus has been nothing but friendly and cordial, but the "thank you for your service" feels incredibly awkward, especially as a student. And no, ma'am, brand new butterbars do not know anything secret about how we got Osama. :beer:
 
Old Dominion Flyer said:
What is the appropriate way to thank a vet for their service? I wish to express my gratitude, but I certainly don't want to embarrass anyone.
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Honestly, I'm not sure.

Speaking for myself, I don't think any special recognition is nessacary. If you want to show your appreciation, then a donation to a military charity means a lot to me.
 
USMCmech said:
Speaking for myself, I don't think any special recognition is nessacary. If you want to show your appreciation, then a donation to a military charity means a lot to me.
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I understand what you mean. I suppose I was naive to think the value of a handshake and eye contact thank you would exceed the value of the dollar. I'll plan my donations accordingly.
 
Well being prior service I have been thru this as well. I agree with not having to run up to someone in uniform and thanking them or calling them a hero. I felt uneasy about it and just wanted to blend in with everyone else. I was a balckhawk Crew Chief and did see action but still by no means do I want anymore reconition then someone who never deployed. I really agree with (USMCmech) about the donation to a military charity. I think this is the best way to show support to service members.
 
Perhaps I misunderstood the context in which you vets are being thanked. Are random strangers approaching you and thanking you?

For me, I was thinking of the people I've reconnected with after a decade or two. These are people with whom I have history, relationships. They're not strangers.

I suppose a donation to a military charity would be appropriate for strangers. But I'm still sticking with the handshake thank you for the people I know.
 
Most of the time this happened while I was in was coming home from overseas and just walking thru airports, Yes starngers come up to you and thank you, some make it a huge deal infront of everyone. Thats what made me feel liek it was to over the top. I didn't kill Osama Bin Laden jeez.

Honestly when it comes to my friends in the service or that are out of the service , I have never thanked them for their service. I think with my group of friends we have always felt like it was something we shared since we went thru alot of the same things. They and I know they each of us was thankful for being there for them in the service and out.
 
Old Dominion Flyer said:
Perhaps I misunderstood the context in which you vets are being thanked. Are random strangers approaching you and thanking you?

For me, I was thinking of the people I've reconnected with after a decade or two. These are people with whom I have history, relationships. They're not strangers.

I suppose a donation to a military charity would be appropriate for strangers. But I'm still sticking with the handshake thank you for the people I know.
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It's more the random stranger or casual aquaintance telling me that they think I'm something special that makes me feel a little weird. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate your gratitude. I just don't think I personally did much at all to deserve it. So when some little old lady at church tells me "Thank you so much, it's men like you that keep me safe" I just awkwardly say "thanks" even though I never served in wartime much less a combat zone.

A handshake and a solid "Thanks" is nice, and if you are in line next to a soldier at Subway paying for his sandwich is cool. Leading a standing ovation is a bit over the top.

If I've known you for some time, then you don't need to say anything, because I know you and I know how you feel.
 
Nark said:
The one thing I don't particularity enjoy is the second questions I seem to get, "Have you killed anyone?"
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I always just say "not yet...but I'm thinking about it" or I lean in and say "only my last girlfriend...but don't tell anyone"

I agree, the random stranger or the overly public proclamation of thanks is awkward, but I just reply "your welcome" and keep moving. The private one-on-one thank you's or the occational, "someone has already paid for your drinks/lunch/dinner etc" makes for a good feeling. I really just try to stay out of the public in my uniform.
 
Nark said:
I didn't do anything that any other person in my boots wouldn't do.
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I completely disagree with you. There are a TON of folks in this country that wouldn't do this.
While none of us are "heroes", if you step back and look at it, people in this country honestly get satisfaction on thanking military personnel. So be very proud of it,... despite being humble, there is a lot you have given up that the average American has no clue about.
Certainly nothing to go out and "cash in on"... but the self sacrifice toward your country is a huge deal. Do not forget it.
 
Takes one of these to be a salty war hero!
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Do I think I made any major impact on this world? No, I definitely do not. When thanked I simply accept their thank you and say "Youre welcome, glad to do it." While it may seem like a small task to those who have done it, it means a lot to some.
 
In this country we celebrate the everyday hero's. I'm sorry if it feels like we gush. My own hero is coming in tomorrow for a week stay. Spent a year in someplace sandy making sure the jackalopes that send RPG's at Apache's and other war criminals stayed healthy and in their cells. He didn't kill Osama, may he burn in hell, but he did his job out there, stayed out trouble, and even got a promotion. He's my hero.
 
When someone thanks a military member or a vet I think they are not so much thanking that specific person, but is really thanking the symbol of a service-member. In their eyes we are all steely-eyed, bug-eating killers single-handedly taking on al-quada with k-bars. They appreciate the concept of a service-member, their volunteerism, and their willingness to serve. When people thank me, I don't think they are actually thanking ME, Ian J - I take it as them thanking all of us. I simply thank them in return for the sentiment and drive on.
 
Humility is a great thing and says a lot more about you guys than a uniform ever will. I always thought the whole standing ovation thing I would regularly see in the Atrium at the Atlanta airport was a bit odd. I figured it probably made the people in uniform feel kind of awkward. Personally I stick with a smile and a head nod when I see someone in uniform. I feel that gets the message across to the person. Going up and making a big deal is too much like slapping a yellow ribbon on the back of the truck. I think in a lot of cases the outward showing of gratitude is often done for the benefit of the giver and not the receiver.

As someone who grew up in military bases, I know that only a small minority see combat. However, everyone has to spend a ton if time away from their family, no matter what the job they do. Granted I don't know what combat is like, but personally I think the deployments away from family would be more difficult than combat. That is exactly why the military was not an option for me. Call me selfish, but my family is more important to me than this country ever will be.
 
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