Been a while since I've been on the JC forum so thought I would give everyone an update/story
My wife and I began the IVF process last April. As I mentioned I was very worried about her have to go through much of it alone while I was on the road. We were able to schedule most of the apts with the baby doc on my days off to see what we were really getting into. After the explanation of how the shots, patches, more shots, etc worked we were both feeling over whelmed. The week before my wife started the shots to cause her overlies to go into over drive and produce a bunch of eggs, we met with the nurse so she could do a practice injection (saline) in her stomach. She did it, barely, but got through it. I volunteered to give myself one so I would know what she was going to have to go through on a daily basis for several weeks...doesn't feel great. But I tell ya, she really champed up and got into a groove where she came home and knocked them out like it was nothing. After server all weeks the doc determined there were enough eggs to harvest so in we went in and about a week or two later I think it was, the mad scientist had finished their lab experiments and we had 6 embryos.
After a few more weeks (everything kinda melted together) we were ready for the implantation. We were so excited and happy to finally be getting to move on after all the shots and patches and emotions....unfortunately this one did not take and we were back to square one. Now this was a tough time for both of us. Not only could we not have kids naturally, but our friends were all getting knocked up and now science had failed us too.
After the first round we decided to take a month off, regroup, and get our heads back into the game...getting back the positive mental attitude
. The second go round was the same except this time the doc want to use a series of progesterone (I think. Hey I'm a pilot not a doc) shots that she had to take in butt. These suckers were no punk. 2" long needles. I had to man up and give these shots to her and when I was gone she had friends (very important to have some close friends and family while going through this to help and talk to) help her out....we are forever on debt to them lol. The second go round of the implantation was as routine as the first. A few weeks later we were supposed to go in on a Monday for a preggo test to see...but we cheated, like last time and she took a home pregnancy test the Saturday before and lo and behold it was positive! Our family is going to be growing by +1 April 2015 and we could not be any happier
I just want to say that for those of you out there who are dealing with the same situation there is hope. It's not necessarily fun or easy or something that any of us thought we would ever have to go through but it is possible. I believe that anyone going through this will grow as individuals, as couples and as parents and will be a 100 times more thankful for the gift they receive than parents who did not have to endure this process. I'm not saying that parents who did not have this hurdle to maneuver do not love their children with every cell and fiber of them, but when science says you cannot have offspring naturally, it crushes your soul. But when science also comes back and says "hey, but you still can!" and you see it become reality, that soul begins to regain life again and you and your partner begin to see the color in life come back again. So to anyone going through this PLEASE feel free to PM any questions you might have I would love to be someone you could shoot the breeze about this topic with.
Now.....(I know, this is a lengthy post) a summary of things I learned.
1. My wife and I found a fertility clinic that offered two kinds if treatments.
A. One treatment for ~$13,000 outcome regardless meds included
B. 6 treatments for $25,000.00 + cost of meds, but guaranteed one live birth out of this 6 or money completely refunded minus meds you pay for.
......if you have this option or something close to it I would recommend it. Yes it is more even if you get a pregnancy the first try but if you don't the first second third fourth etc...this put our mind at ease (somewhat bc it is stil a lot of cheese) that if after six tries we still didn't get pregnant, we would not be out a crap ton of money.
2. like Poser said above....relaaaax
. Easier said than done, I know. But just begin thinking positive and visualizing that baby.
3. Talk, talk, talk. Talk with each other. Both of you have a billion emotions, thought, worries going through your head. This was particularly difficult for me. I'm not a big talker...I fix things, but not this I couldn't. If you don't talk to each other you risk making that person feel alone. Finally after a sob fest from my wife I realized how along I was making her feel by not expressing my emotions on the whole process as well...I quickly changes that. But remember, it doesn't always need to be woes "us". If you're feeling good, then use that to encourage the other.
4. GUYS! This is hard on us for a variety of reasons, especially if the whole cause of infertility is bc of the male factor which mine was. My boys were lazy and extremely underemployed...to much partying I guess. BUT, the sacrifice your ladies are making is something we will never comprehend...so at least try. Bend over backwards for the during the process. Write off mood swings and snide comments to the hormones and drugs and needed sand probing and...you get my point. We got it easy compared to them. A trip or two to the clinic, some naughty magazines...boom we are done. Not them. Just think of this as preparation for when you do get a successful implantation....bc it doesn't stop their. Now she's pregnant and guuuueeeessss what? It is still all about her, except now its about her and your guys little nugget too.
I hope this will inspire hope to all of you going through this out there and I pray the best results for you as well. And on another note keep this in mind as well. We decided early before the treatments that if for some reason we were unable to produce a baby we were going to adopt. There are other ways to have a family and many, many children in need of good families. As a matter of fact, even though we have 4 more embryos we are still considering down the road adopting a child for our second.
Cheers!
But seriously, I've heard that the process can be hard on the missus - but when it sticks it'll really stick - a surprising amount of people I know who've done it ended up with twins and one family even got triplets.
