how UPS maintenance operates...

TXaviator

TXaviator

Well-Known Member
god i hope this isnt a repost, cuz its REAL funny, and i just saw it.

http://www.ufxcomic.com/EverybodySucks/2008/02/11/how-ups-keepsem-flying/

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
​
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
​
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
​
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
​
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
​
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
​
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
​
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.
​
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
​
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
​
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
​
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Air craft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
​
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
​
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
​
(And last, but not least……..)
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
​
 
I'm pretty sure the target radar and IFF can be MEL'ed as long as there are no hostile aircraft in the area.

The freight business is pretty competitive, I hear.
 
fail-24.jpg
 
"By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident."

UPS has accidents, you just don't here about it. There was the DC8 that burned up in Philly, caused by laptop batteries. There was the 767 in EFD that slid off the runway on landing, major damage, they fixed it. There was the 727 triple engine failure and near landing on a Chicago freeway, they got one going and got it on the ground. Honestly, the only reason we haven't had a hull loss is cause the company doesn't want one and would rather "fix" the plane. We have been very lucky. Fedex has had it much worse than us and yet no loss of life, which is amazing if you look at some of their "stuff", to include Auburn Calloway.
 
DE727UPS said:
"By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident."

UPS has accidents, you just don't here about it. There was the DC8 that burned up in Philly, caused by laptop batteries. There was the 767 in EFD that slid off the runway on landing, major damage, they fixed it. There was the 727 triple engine failure and near landing on a Chicago freeway, they got one going and got it on the ground. Honestly, the only reason we haven't had a hull loss is cause the company doesn't want one and would rather "fix" the plane. We have been very lucky. Fedex has had it much worse than us and yet no loss of life, which is amazing if you look at some of their "stuff", to include Auburn Calloway.
Click to expand...

yeah it seems nothing is ever said about their incidents or accidents for some reason. The DC8 running off in RDU (or somewhere over there in NC), the one that ran off the runway in rockford I believe a few months ago, and the little mishap off of 17R last week in SDF with a DC8 that had some kind of "issue" towards the departure end of the runway which shut the runway down for about 45 min. The UPS staff must "know people" haha ;o)

Doesnt the purple operate a whole lot more flights and a lot more frequent than brown?
 
"Google does not show anything..."

See what I mean...

I think Purple has twice as many pilots, so, yeah, they have a lot more flights and a lot more....exposure.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top