I think it comes down to having an honest discussion about priorities. When my wife and I decided to become parents, we also decided it was very important to us to raise the kid or kids mostly ourselves, in other words, minimal to no use of daycare. The way we see it, years 0-5 are the most formative years for developing emotionally, ethically, bonding with parents, and so on. We really want to be present for those years in particular and agreed to do whatever it took to make that happen. We also decided my job as a pilot is harder to modify than her work as a nurse.
The solution we arrived at was my wife cut back to only working 3-5 days/month at the hospital during my guaranteed days off. We don't make as much money as we used to, but it fits our priorities perfectly and we have zero stress related to childcare.
We also see these changes as temporary, in the medium term of 5-8 years (depends if we have additional children or not). Once the kid is school age, it will be easier to ramp up my wife's work again.
What all this means for a doctor and airline captain, I don't know. Is scaling back your wife's practice possible? Is moving closer to family or into base at your work possible? Could either of you take an extended leave for a year or two or three and still have a job to come back to?
Or you might be ok with finding a trusted nanny to pretty much raise the kid. That's an option. It costs more money and I question how good it is for a child's development, but it leaves both of your careers virtually unmodified and maybe that's the conclusion you'll come to.
As I said at the start, figure out what your priorities are and go from there.
