How to Jumpseat!

CapnJim

CapnJim

Well-Known Member
Rule One: Ask politely.
Rule Two: Shut the f- up.
Rule Three: Shut the f- up.

Lather, rinse, repeat.
 
CapnJim said:
Rule One: Ask politely.
Rule Two: Shut the f- up.
Rule Three: Shut the f- up.

Lather, rinse, repeat.
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General thoughts, or did something happen?

(PS Welcome back bro, and congrats on the type. Far too many religious and political threads went way too dryly since you've been busy. ;))
 
That's the new standard for the hows, whys and wherefores of jumpseating.
Cap'n, you have a knack for literary excellence. Congrats on becoming a big time airline captain. :pirate:
 
You never know who somebody might be. We had a PDT FO jumpseating with us and he was ranting and raving about how much Mainline sucks and how all their pilots are idiots. The captain happened to be a J4J, and a very senior one at that. He let it go for about 10 minutes before he reached down and turned the guys hot mic switch off. I was trying so hard not to laugh.
 
So far I've had one guy try to tell me what should and should not be MEL'd on my aircraft, one who went on a racist rant about how the 'blacks' were goldbricking flying jobs from more worthy candidates (think: "They took are jaaaaaeerrrrbbsss!"), and one who asked me in all sincerety whether he should go to work at Skybus or Spirit.

Ok, I'm actually glad the last one spoke up. He was really, really serious, and just didn't have a clue. I told him in no uncertain term to not work for Skybus. But I was nice about it.

The other two got a combination of silent hostility, sardonicism, and questions designed so that there was no possible answer that wouldn't show what dumbasses they were. One got the point and shut up. One didn't. Guess which one?
 
So long story short, when jumpseating, it's best to keep your mouth closed and be thought a total dumbass scumbag toolbox than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Naturally, the next time I jumpseat anywhere, my mouth will be sealed with speed tape.

;)
 
CapnJim said:
So long story short, when jumpseating, it's best to keep your mouth closed and be thought a total dumbass scumbag toolbox than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Naturally, the next time I jumpseat anywhere, my mouth will be sealed with speed tape.

;)
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Knowing you Capn, you better take an extra roll or two and maybe some Gorilla glue as well. :laff:
 
CapnJim said:
So far I've had one guy try to tell me what should and should not be MEL'd on my aircraft, one who went on a racist rant about how the 'blacks' were goldbricking flying jobs from more worthy candidates (think: "They took are jaaaaaeerrrrbbsss!"), and one who asked me in all sincerety whether he should go to work at Skybus or Spirit.

Ok, I'm actually glad the last one spoke up. He was really, really serious, and just didn't have a clue. I told him in no uncertain term to not work for Skybus. But I was nice about it.

The other two got a combination of silent hostility, sardonicism, and questions designed so that there was no possible answer that wouldn't show what dumbasses they were. One got the point and shut up. One didn't. Guess which one?
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Nobody ever said being a big time airline captain would be easy, just that we were easy. :rolleyes:
 
I kind of feel like a UPS guy being up at this hour. My 11 pm Chips and Salsa over poker necessitated a 3 am dose of Rolaids. Hey, I'll just check my email while I am up........Bad idea as that was an hour ago.....
:crazy:
 
"I kind of feel like a UPS guy being up at this hour."

Me too.....

At least I can use the excuse that it's 7pm Thursday night, rather than 3am Thursday morning, here in the Phillipines.
 
I woke up at 330EST after a bad dream and am now utterly, hopelessy, wide awake. Fortunately, I have a window seat on my 1250 deadhead to IAH this afternoon, so a nap might be in order. Earplugs and eyemask will be packed.
 
DE727UPS said:
"I kind of feel like a UPS guy being up at this hour."

Me too.....

At least I can use the excuse that it's 7pm Thursday night, rather than 3am Thursday morning, here in the Phillipines.
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Kind of points out who the smart one is doesn't it?:laff:
I'm going back to bed.
 
CapnJim said:
Earplugs and eyemask will be packed.
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I predict you will have a family of hooligans sitting right behind you kicking your seat back and making you crazy. That's what happens when I plan to sleep. Perhaps 6 ounces of NyQuil or a Valium or three might be in order?
 
CapnJim said:
Sounds great, but how will I slip all that stuff into the little monster's milk boxes?
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Aw, c'mon....you're slick. Shouldn't be that hard to figure out..:p
How to get it in the parents' beverage of choice is another story.:D
 
we had an intern in the jumpseat about 4 months ago, and I was making the cruise talk to the folks... he reached up and turn the seat belt sign off in the middle of me talking. I couldn't believe he did it... and he laughing the whole time. The Capt flipped out on him, as he should have. He was talking the whole damn trip about how his parents give him all this money and that he doesnt have to pay for any of his flying, how rich his parents are... blah blah blah. He saying that he had 200 something TTL, and about how much pinnacle sux. He may be right that pinnacle does suck, but man your a F$%^ intern... SHUT UP AND SIT THERE AND LEARN.
 
JBUCREW said:
we had an intern in the jumpseat about 4 months ago, and I was making the cruise talk to the folks... he reached up and turn the seat belt sign off in the middle of me talking. I couldn't believe he did it... and he laughing the whole time. The Capt flipped out on him, as he should have. He was talking the whole damn trip about how his parents give him all this money and that he doesnt have to pay for any of his flying, how rich his parents are... blah blah blah. He saying that he had 200 something TTL, and about how much pinnacle sux. He may be right that pinnacle does suck, but man your a F$%^ intern... SHUT UP AND SIT THERE AND LEARN.
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WOW.......if that were my flight, I'd do what I could to have his jumpseating PRIVILEGES taken away.....at least for a certain amount of time. Not to be trusted in the cockpit!

If he wants to act like a child, he should be treated as such. Sit down, shut up, and don't touch ANYTHING!
 
Cruise said:
WOW.......if that were my flight, I'd do what I could to have his jumpseating PRIVILEGES taken away.....at least for a certain amount of time. Not to be trusted in the cockpit!

If he wants to act like a child, he should be treated as such. Sit down, shut up, and don't touch ANYTHING!
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Would of beat him with the butt end of the axe. Seriously. Some people get high and mighty when sitting in the jumpseat. Sit down and shut the frick up.
 
Even as a qualified pilot and crew member I don't touch the seat belt sign unless I ask the captain first.

That is crazy!
 
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