"Highest Duty: My Search for What Really Matters"

Mike Wise

#NewSchool
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Just finished this great book and I definitely recommend it to anyone who hasn't done so. It was very interesting reading about his experiences through life and how he learned from them, shaping who he is now as a person.

A couple questions for some of the airline+family folks on this board, and I thank you in advance for your responses. In this book he speaks of his love for aviation as well as for his family, and its undeniably clear that he has strong love for both. Specifically, he speaks of time lost and experiences missed with his two younger daughters that he will never be able to re-live. It's almost as if he was unsure that the flying was worth missing those times, although thats just my interpretation.

As an airline pilot, how do you cope with the effects of being away from your family and specifically your kids? and how do you stay positive and not let the depression of thinking about past "time lost" effect your well being?
 
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I have sacrificed flight time, money and career progression for my family. It's a conscious decision I made while lying in a bunk, looking at a picture of my wife and kids taped above my head and hoping I'd make it home to see them again.
Maybe it's why I can't get an interview for the double breasted suit, but I can live with that.
 
I have stated this more than once - there is a cost associated with everything we want to do. That cost comes in many forms: time, money, family, etc etc. Only those involved can determine if what they want to do is worth that cost.
 
Never whistle while you pack and never bring anything home you didn't leave with!
Not a problem for me. I usually only work 12-13 days /month and it's still too much for me! I'd rather be at home with family. The OPs post was just humorous to me because of a conversation I had with a good friend of mine about how he looks forward to work to get away from screaming children haha.
 
Yeah, I think if you actually read what he had said the outcome was due to his varied background. Everything from a J-3 Cub, to a glider, to an F-4 Phantom and a bunch of stuff between.
That's why I've always encouraged people getting into this business to get varied experiences.
 
Highestduty.jpg


Just finished this great book and I definitely recommend it to anyone who hasn't done so. It was very interesting reading about his experiences through life and how he learned from them, shaping who he is now as a person.

A couple questions for some of the airline+family folks on this board, and I thank you in advance for your responses. In this book he speaks of his love for aviation as well as for his family, and its undeniably clear that he has strong love for both. Specifically, he speaks of time lost and experiences missed with his two younger daughters that he will never be able to re-live. It's almost as if he was unsure that the flying was worth missing those times, although thats just my interpretation.

As an airline pilot, how do you cope with the effects of being away from your family and specifically your kids? and how do you stay positive and not let the depression of thinking about past "time lost" effect your well being?


I just finished that book recently too. Great read!

I think the biggest toll on his family life was after SFO closed in 1995 and he commuted to PIT and then later to CLT basically for the rest of his career until 2010. 16 years of a pure transcon commute. It seems he did try and bid SFO overnights to be home, and the accident trip itself had day 1 overnight at home for him. I think his life was far easier and better at PSA, and after the US Air merger it kinda went down hill once US pulled out of the California markets where PSA did the flying. His daughters came in 1992/4-ish so with SFO closing in 1995, that's why he wrote about having spent well more than half his life away from his kids growing up.

For many reasons, and I can't blame him because I woulda done the same, he chose to commute from SFO to PIT/CLT and just keep his family in California no matter what US Airways did.




And to answer your question, in my case I live in base and do 2-day trips. In a given month I'm gone "only" 7 to 8 nights. That's a great lifestyle and works great for a family. OTOH if I was commuting, I'd probably try and do only 4-day trips and including commuting, would be away for 14-16 nights per month. That is where it takes a toll on the family life.
 
It is awesome. The hugs, the kisses, the smiles, the unconditional love.

And..... they make it socially okay to do the things you no longer can do because you're 32.

"Oh, you're watching Bugs Bunny because your son is there and you're watching with him."

Yeah. Yeah, that is totally why I'm watching Bugs Bunny. :D

Of course sometimes it can get you in trouble. I remember my wife calling one night.
Wife- "What's Joe doing?"
Me- "Watching TV."
Wife- "What's he watching?"
Me- "IDK. Some cartoon. I have not been paying attention. Been reading and studying."
Wife- "Check the guide. What's he watching?"
Me- "Some show called 'Archer'. What's the big deal? It's a cartoon."
Wife. "WTF???? Are you insane??"
 
It is awesome. The hugs, the kisses, the smiles, the unconditional love.

And..... they make it socially okay to do the things you no longer can do because you're 32.

"Oh, you're watching Bugs Bunny because your son is there and you're watching with him."

Yeah. Yeah, that is totally why I'm watching Bugs Bunny. :D

I'm pushing 34 and my 6 year old is really getting into LEGOs,which by proxy means I get to play with LEGOs again too!!


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I just finished this great book and I definitely recommend it to anyone who hasn't done so. It was very interesting reading about his experiences through life and how he learned from them, shaping who he is now as a person.

A couple questions for some of the airline+family folks on this board, and I thank you in advance for your responses. In this book he speaks of his love for aviation as well as for his family, and its undeniably clear that he has strong love for both. Specifically, he speaks of time lost and experiences missed with his two younger daughters that he will never be able to re-live. It's almost as if he was unsure that the flying was worth missing those times, although thats just my interpretation.

As an airline pilot, how do you cope with the effects of being away from your family and specifically your kids? and how do you stay positive and not let the depression of thinking about past "time lost" effect your well being?


In life you can either chose to concentrate on the negative aspects of something or the positive aspects of something. While he may have been away from home for many nights each month, he would also have been at home for many days in a row most months and had large blocks of vacation time with the family that most normal workers would never get. When he was home he should have been able to relax and spend high quality time with his kids that again, many professional people don't get to do because they have stressors at work that keep their minds pre-occupied even while at home.


TP
 
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