Hey, you weren't supportive anyways..

JC1188

JC1188

Well-Known Member
Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

My parents were married 27 years, and now there heading for divorce. My mother sells Real Estate, and my father is a soon-to-be retired Boston Police Officer.

When I use to tell my dad about my dreams to fly for a major airline, he basically told me I wouldn't make it. "Your eyesight, there all former military pilots..etc." I didn't listen to him, and still don't.

My mother is 100% supportive. She takes me to the airport, offers to pay for a lesson here and there, and loves to listen to my goals.

Well, my dad was walked out the front door. Didn't say goodbye, nothing. I really needed him when I currently have two broken feet, and my older sister needs him for a wedding in two months. He just doesn't care.

He won't be there when I solo (about a month), won't be there when I get my PPL, and probably won't be there when I get my first flying job.

This really sucks, and I hope none of you go through this, or have gone through it. You don't want to see your mother crying because she doesn't know what to do..its awful.

Sorry for my rambeling, just needed to let off some steam and talk to someone.

JC
 
Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

JC:

Sorry to hear that. That is truly ashame /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif. I know this may not help much but try and use it as motivation. Just think of how happy your mother will be when you solo and when you get your first job.

Don't give up on your dream. You have take the first steps don't stop now.

Best of luck
 
Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

Sorry to hear that man.

A couple years ago, my mom walked out on my dad after 23 years of marriage. I know your situation is the other way around, but it still sucks.

Just hang in there, and make your mom proud. Your dad will be sorry someday.
 
Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

Sorry to hear this JC. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/frown.gif
 
Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

Thanks for the support guys /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

we can be supportive even if your dad isn't. How are the feet doing anyway?

take care
 
Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

Hmm my feet:

lLft one is almost healed, still a little bruising. Right one isn't even close to healed. I got my staples out a week ago, and i get the pins out Aug. 4th. The swelling won't be over with until the end of September though. I'm learning how to walk without a limp now, and I'll be using a cane when school starts up (out of class early /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif)

My new problem is my stomach, I have sharp pains nonstop, I can't eat (I've lost about 20 pounds, down in the 130's), and it basically just sucks.

Hospital tomorrow to see whats up..hope everything goes well..
 
Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

Jeez man, sorry about your parents....I find it so i dont even think wierd is the right word, but about 70% of the kids in my school only live with one parent. Oh and have fun at the hospital, enjoy all that great hospital food /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/crazy.gif /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/insane.gif
 
Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

Mate - honestly I can not relate to your situation, however people do irrational things under stress, and emotions. I am sure your dad loves you, is proud of you, and wants you to be happy - when things settle down he will regret his actions!!!

Realise this - and do not have the mind set I will make him pay. Life is to short for those silly games!!!
 
Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

Geez JC, sorry to hear about what's going on... much less your feet and tummy hurting! Is it that you have sharp pains when you eat? are the sharp pains on your side or in your tummy area? Can you eat anything at all?

My boss's wife had a problem like that and for a long time, they couldn't find anything wrong... but they did eventually find out what was wrong after weeks and weeks of not being able to eat anything but like those boost and ensure drinks...if the docs don't give you an answer tomorrow, let me know and i'll tell you what they checked on my boss's wife and what they found...

I don't want to list it here in the forum for fear of "hypocondriac" symptoms /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif.. KWIM?! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Let us know what happens tomorrow and don't forget you've got your own support network here, when you need us! /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif

You'll get thru this! like people are saying, use it as your motivation to succeed - your dad's proud of you even if he doesn't say it (don't let anyone tell you different, he's your dad!), he's just got a lot going on right now and needs to work on himself for a while. When he's able to handle things in a better fashion, he'll let you know! but don't hold a grudge because like Iain said, life is just TOO short!
 
Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

Thanks for the reply, Kristie..

I didn't go to the doctors because the stomach aches basically disappeared..although I have one every now and then when I eat (so yes, i eat, alot). I guess I'll just "ride through the virus," or whatever it is.

Thanks for the support everyone /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

I am with Iian on this one to a point. Don't let somebody be a part of your life if they will only be a detriment. I live with what I call an added-value system. If a person doesn't add to the quality of my life (or at least not detract from it) they are quickly eliminated. Life is short, It should be fun. Good luck, I am sorry for your predicament.
 
Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

[ QUOTE ]
I am with Iian on this one to a point.

[/ QUOTE ]

Geez mate that is certainly not what I said - I said to understand your dad's tough times, and do not hold comments he said under emotion and stress against him once he has sorted everything out, as he will truely be sorry.

Under stress we all behave a bit unkind - it is the way we are, understand this. I live my life under by 'treat others how you would want to be treated' - follow this rule and you will kick goals!
 
Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

I wish I could say I can relate and understand, but I can't.

I can offer you a couple of pearls of wisdom...

Live your life for you. Don't do anything with the goal of making him sorry. If you do you'll just end up getting more and more vengful. Solo for you. Share it with your mother and friends, but don't do it for them.

As a married person I can offer you this: your father's leaving is due to (I'm sure) complex problems with his relationship with your mother. It has nothing to do with you. Understand that, unless he has absolutely no heart, he really is hurting right now. For things to get so bad that he had to leave someone who he loved very deeply and his son he's must be in pain. Perhaps someday he'll explain it all to you, maybe he won't, but know that he loves you.

Finally I truly believe that what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. You have a lot of adversity to overcome, but see your life from the end. See yourself healed, see yourself after you've soloed, see yourself after you've passed your checkride. Think about the feelings etc. and think about how you'll be able to look back in amazement at what you overcame and what you accomplished.

I wish you all the best.

Naunga
 
Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

[ QUOTE ]
I wish I could say I can relate and understand, but I can't.

I can offer you a couple of pearls of wisdom...

Live your life for you.

[/ QUOTE ]
That's really the bottom line. Well said, naunga.

Pretty much my entire life, I've done what I wanted to do the way I wanted to do it, when I wanted to.

Believe me - I've caught a TON of sh*t my entire life from friends, family, etc., but on my death bed, I will look back and be glad I did it under my own terms.

Never live for anyone but you. While it is a sad, horrible, and extremely tough time you and your family are going through right now, take a breath and do what's best of you.

Don't begrudge your father right now. Give it time. Let the dust settle - talk to him face to face, eye to eye and man to man, then decide.

Know that you've got our support.

Best of luck!

R2F
 
Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am with Iian on this one to a point.

[/ QUOTE ]

Geez mate that is certainly not what I said - I said to understand your dad's tough times, and do not hold comments he said under emotion and stress against him once he has sorted everything out, as he will truely be sorry.

Under stress we all behave a bit unkind - it is the way we are, understand this. I live my life under by 'treat others how you would want to be treated' - follow this rule and you will kick goals!

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry, that came out a bit wrong. I agree not to hold his Father's actions against him permanently, but that he also doesn't need to sit and absorb any angst he (the Father) may have.
 
Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

Sorry about the situation, but don't let it get you too down. Like every one says, use it as motivation and like John said. When the dust settles, talk to him man to man. That way things can be cleared out and you can really see what his intentions are.

P.S. - Feet are very quick healers so you'll be back up and running and jumping in no time. Hopefully your stomach is ok, I cringe at anything that involves internal organs and stuff.
 
Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

[ QUOTE ]
Believe me - I've caught a TON of sh*t my entire life from friends, family, etc., but on my death bed, I will look back and be glad I did it under my own terms

[/ QUOTE ]


I'm with John on this one.. Live and learn from your experiences and others.. but in the end it's all YOU in this big world.. LIVE IT UP chasing your dreams, work hard, and enjoy the view along the way.. things will always work out if your true to yourself and those you keep nearby....

Now get those feet better so you can get that solo in man !! ... and get some good eats... you ain't gonna gain that 20 lbs back eating hospital jello !!!


Take Care !!

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Re: Hey, you weren\'t supportive anyways..

[ QUOTE ]
Who's John?? /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Someone with not just a big ole melon-head, but a big "Johnstan", too.

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/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
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