Funny Passenger Announcements

Pilotforhire587

Pilotforhire587

Lycra Man
Hey Guys,

I was taxiing out to the runway in EWR yesterday and dropped a "Giggity" on the passengers at the end of our announcements. Lets hear some other funny ones.

Stay away from the jokes we have all heard before. Share some things have actually said or heard. Even if it was an accident.
 
When I was in school one of our other airplanes was headed out on a cross country into the same Seattle Center sector I was in. The controller called him 3 times and then got very agitated when he wouldn't answer. The student calmly got on the radio and said, "Sorry, I was licking the cheeto cheese from my fingers." The controller then dropped his flight following :rotfl:
 
Pilotforhire587 said:
Hey Guys,

I was taxiing out to the runway in EWR yesterday and dropped a "Giggity" on the passengers at the end of our announcements. Lets hear some other funny ones.

Stay away from the jokes we have all heard before. Share some things have actually said or heard. Even if it was an accident.
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Bravo, Sir.
 
Cessnaflyer said:
When I was in school one of our other airplanes was headed out on a cross country into the same Seattle Center sector I was in. The controller called him 3 times and then got very agitated when he wouldn't answer. The student calmly got on the radio and said, "Sorry, I was licking the cheeto cheese from my fingers." The controller then dropped his flight following :rotfl:
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I think that is hilarious!
 
Southwest has to be king at these kind of announcements. I fly on them every week and it's always something new. Except for the "Did anyone loose a wallet? Ha, now I have your attention. Please pull out the emergency safety card....." That one is getting old to me. But one lady sang, another said they were collecting "cups, cans, $50 bills..", another said "Would the owner of a black lexus parked in the tow-away zone please move your car.. as we were taking off. "Please turn off all blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, and another other berry with an on or off switch." I hear something new every flight.
 
JulietBravo said:
Southwest has to be king at these kind of announcements. I fly on them every week and it's always something new. Except for the "Did anyone loose a wallet? Ha, now I have your attention. Please pull out the emergency safety card....." That one is getting old to me. But one lady sang, another said they were collecting "cups, cans, $50 bills..", another said "Would the owner of a black lexus parked in the tow-away zone please move your car.. as we were taking off. "Please turn off all blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, and another other berry with an on or off switch." I hear something new every flight.
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"Pushing the flight attendent call button does not turn the flight attendents on."

"If you have children....we're sorry, and please put your mask on before assisting them, and now would be a good time to pick a favorite too."
 
From a Southwest FA:

"If anyone lost a wad of $100 bills rolled up with a rubber band, please see us as you de-board the aircraft... we have your rubber band."
 
1B9Pilot said:
:rotfl:What was the context that you used it? What announcement.
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I was giving the ole, Ladies and Gentleman we are number 20 for departure, pretty standard for newark this time of day, but once we are airborne looking at a smooth 1 hour ride down to Dulles. GIGGITY, FA please be seated for dept.

It was good. I got a few laughs when people were getting off the airplane in Dulles.
 
Cessnaflyer said:
When I was in school one of our other airplanes was headed out on a cross country into the same Seattle Center sector I was in. The controller called him 3 times and then got very agitated when he wouldn't answer. The student calmly got on the radio and said, "Sorry, I was licking the cheeto cheese from my fingers." The controller then dropped his flight following :rotfl:
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That's pretty funny.
 
As a gate agent, I will say that I've never had the audacity to drop a "giggity" at the end of an announcement...especially when working Gate 69...giggity...I mean...period.

:D

One time I was on a UA 733 about 2 weeks before they retired the type, and the CA announced this right after boarding. He was looking out the door and seemed to notice no one was paying attention. He said "I've been waving at you this whole time by the way. And it appears no one wants a happy captain today. I would. But that's ok, you've made your choice". Then he shuts the door and doesn't make another PA until we got to SFO. Pax looked kinda nervous, but I thought it was great!
 
A few months ago, a controller asked us where we were going because we forgot to engage LNAV and were still on a heading. I told him to standby while I fired up Google Maps....
 
On Southwest a week or two ago, right before takeoff "this flight brought to you by Maybeline. Maybe it's her, maybe it's Maybeline."

And several months ago in the safetey briefing "in the event of an emergency, follow the instructions of the uniformed flight attendants. The naked ones can't be trusted."
 
I was on the jumpseat of a CAL 757 when the Captain was doing a very long and detailed boarding announcement. In the middle of the announcement he pauses, takes a breath, and says "page two" before going on. Great crew to be stuck on a jumpseat with. :)

Actually, those same guys did a great job working around some really bad weather in IAH. After a reroute and vectors to the 8s (rare in IAH) they were down to about 5000 lbs of fuel and were getting pretty nervous. Me being an RJ guy could only think "5000? That's release fuel on some flights." Perspective, I guess. :D
 
Real early morning, a captain I know said of the PA "The flight this morning is brought to you by Starbucks." Of course that wasn't me.
 
ChasenSFO said:
As a gate agent, I will say that I've never had the audacity to drop a "giggity" at the end of an announcement...especially when working Gate 69...giggity...I mean...period.

:D

One time I was on a UA 733 about 2 weeks before they retired the type, and the CA announced this right after boarding. He was looking out the door and seemed to notice no one was paying attention. He said "I've been waving at you this whole time by the way. And it appears no one wants a happy captain today. I would. But that's ok, you've made your choice". Then he shuts the door and doesn't make another PA until we got to SFO. Pax looked kinda nervous, but I thought it was great!
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I hate to copy but I think I am gonna use that one next! I am flying the dash so its hard for people not to notice me up front!
 
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