Funniest thing you have heard over the radio?

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After watching the Southwest incident about the pilot who went on the flight attendant rant, It got me thinking about what other funny things you guys have heard while flying. Sorry in advance if this topic has already been brought up.
 
I dunno its a tie between a recipe for BBQ sauce over fingers or all the cheesy PA announcements that sometimes come over the radio.
 
Just switched onto Cleveland center:

Cleveland: "Acey 1234 cleared direct XXXX"
ASA: (in the same tone as a kid who was just told he's going to Disneyland "REALLY???!!?!?!"
Cleveland: "uhhh, affirmative, cleared direct XXXXX"
ASA: (Two octaves higher) "Acey 1234 direct XXXX!!!!!"

The FA heard us in the back laughing...
 
US Airways on LA center: "uuuhhh, PHX ops, this is uhhh, flight XXXX. Were gonna need a, uhhh, lav dump.. havent got the gate yet, but we'll let ya know"
 
Im guessing it was overflowing or something.

I was on a night cross country over OAK when an Air France plane was asked to maintain altitude and extend downwind. Right after the transmission was over, someone said "Dont Stall". I didn't find it funny as much as distasteful but still not something I expected to hear.
 
Busy morning at KLAS.
Vegas departure: "Pac Valley 8798 contact LA Center 124.2"
PCM8798: "124.2, see ya, Pac Valley 8798"
PCM8798 (still on Vegas): "LA center Pac Valley 8798 9,000"
Vegas departure: "That's fantastic sir, lets turn the COMM knob and push the right freq, shall we? its LA center 124.2"

Kinda rude, but the way he said it made me crack up...

Next one is common at IAH..

Houston: "Cactus xxx, clear direct SEEYA" (SEEYA is an intersection)
Cactus xxx: "WAIT?! what frequency did you say?!"
 
BTpilot said:
Busy morning at KLAS.
Vegas departure: "Pac Valley 8798 contact LA Center 124.2"
PCM8798: "124.2, see ya, Pac Valley 8798"
PCM8798 (still on Vegas): "LA center Pac Valley 8798 9,000"
Vegas departure: "That's fantastic sir, lets turn the COMM knob and push the right freq, shall we? its LA center 124.2"

Kinda rude, but the way he said it made me crack up...
Click to expand...

Female controller? I probably have spoken to her if so.

EDIT: Nevermind, saw the "he" in your post. :)
 
Orlando Approach to some airline I can't remember....

Orlando Approach: "Airline 123 there is a note here in your clearance, you mind if I relay it to you?"
Airline 123: "Sure go ahead"
Orlando Approach: I've got chills, They're multiplying. And I'm losing self-control. 'Cuz the power your supplying, Its electrifying!!!!!"

He sang it the whole way and really killed it lol.
 
Chicago center: "Uh, Simmons XYZ, company just called, wanted us to relay to have you call company"
Simmons: "Okay"
Simmons: "Hey company we just got the word to give you a holler, what's up?"
Company: "Yeah, we're going to have to have you guys turn back around and go back to ORD"
Simmons: "Why's that?"
Company: "You forgot your passengers"
Simmons: "Oh, well departure time came and went, no one boarded, so we figured we were empty"
Company: "Yeah, there are pax, please come back and get them"
Simmons: "Okie dokey"
Simmons: "Hey Center, we've gotta turn around and go back to ORD"
Center: "Okay, what's going on?"
Simmons: "It appears we've forgotten our passengers"
Center: "Uh, okay"
 
Salt Lake : Cessna 1234, Call Denver Center 135.6
Cessna : 135.6

Cessna's Instructor: umm denver, can you give us our squawk code again, My student just put denver's frequency in the transponder....
 
Had a good laugh last week when a Delta gave a PA announcement over guard, guys must have been ragging on him and asking what the temperature at their destination was going to be when they land for a good 2 minutes after he finished his transmission, it was pretty funny.

Just today with Washington Center heard them asking a jet about what altitude they were passing, and the pilot responded with something like 'Nine thousand, eight hundred and twenty feet now', center laughed and said he didn't need it to be THAT exact

When I'm in the DC\NY\BOS area I usually always hear something that makes us chuckle.
 
Heard a few weeks ago over Lake Michigan on guard:

"Chicago Center, WestJet xxx we have a stuck mic in the cockpit we are working on it"
Some random pilot:
"Just make sure you don't talk about gay flight attendants and your overnight adventures"

Gave me a chuckle.
 
Cruising along one night around MSP when a female controller got the giggles. Out of nowhere, some old perv sounding guy gets on and says "did someone just reach out and tickle you?" To which she replies "Oh no sir, not in a long time!"
 
Cal Varnson said:
Cruising along one night around MSP when a female controller got the giggles. Out of nowhere, some old perv sounding guy gets on and says "did someone just reach out and tickle you?" To which she replies "Oh no sir, not in a long time!"
Click to expand...

Weird
 
"Beercan six sixty eight contact departure good flight."
"Departure, Beercan six sixty eight."
"Littletown Departure, Beercan six sixty eight, one thousand seven hundred climbing niner thousand."
"Beercan six sixty eight PUSH THE BUTTON."
*sheepishly* "OK"
 
My conversation with Moline tower when I was a student on my first XC solo. Yes, I always identified myself as a student checking in at "other" airports. I figured if I did that maybe they'd take it easy on my and not yell too loud if I screwed up.

"Moline this is Warrior 226 checking in 10 minutes out. I'm a student on my XC solo, be gentle with me"
"Warrior 226 expect left pattern for 22, there's no other traffic in the area" (or whatever runway it was, it's been almost 10 years I don't remember the runway)
"Left pattern for 22 thanks"
"So, where ya comin' in from 226?"
"Janesville"
"Ah, nice day for it, so.. we'll see you when you get here" (Just the way he said it was so funny.)

I get to MLI, stop & park for a few minutes. I get out to stretch my legs & call my instructor and I look up in the tower and see 3 faces up against the tower cab glass peering down at me. It's amazing the attention a female voice on the radio brings, especially on a slow day! :laff:
 
Over ABQ approach:

SWA (Female): WELL HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ALBUQUERQUE, SOUTHWEST 1234 ONE ONE THOUSAND BRAAAAAAVOOOOOO. I'D LOVE YOU FOREVER IF YOU LET US USE RUNWAY 3.

ABQ: Uhhhhh roger? I'll check on that.


Santa Fe Tower:

SAF: Bonazna 12345 what is your direction of flight?
Bo: UHHHHH SOUTHWEST ON A HEADIN' OF 150.
SAF: So you mean Southeast?
Random Pilot: Doesn't anyone know how to read a D.G. anymore?
 
A150K said:
Over ABQ approach:

SWA (Female): WELL HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ALBUQUERQUE, SOUTHWEST 1234 ONE ONE THOUSAND BRAAAAAAVOOOOOO. I'D LOVE YOU FOREVER IF YOU LET US USE RUNWAY 3.

ABQ: Uhhhhh roger? I'll check on that.
Click to expand...

Funny, but SWA radio etiquette actually drives me up the damn wall. :)
 
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