Editorial About Pilot PA's

derg

derg

Apparently a "terse" writer
Staff member
My own pet peeve highlighted below.

Pilots, quit the gabbing and just fly
May 21, 2007

BY MICHAEL ROSENBERG

DETROIT FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER

I don't believe in the death penalty, except for people who talk during movies. But I am thinking about broadening my position to include pilots who use the loudspeaker too much. And when I say "too much," I mean "at all."

Of course, I would wait until the plane lands before killing the pilot.

I'm not unreasonable. But why do pilots have to make announcements at all? Once you hop in a giant aluminum tube and pay complete strangers to take you on a joyride 20,000 feet above the planet, you are pretty much in their hands. The least they can do is shut up.

The next time I hear a pilot tell me he expects a smooth flight, or a turbulent flight, or that he is happy to have us aboard, I am going to pass around a hat so we can all chip in to buy garden shears, which we will then use to remove the pilot's larynx.

I feel strongly about this. Perhaps you've noticed.

I just don't think it takes a particularly astute person to figure out that when the flight attendant starts pushing the beverage cart down the aisle, it is time to order a beverage.

And I have taken several hundred flights in my life, and I have never once looked out the window and thought, "You know, I just must know which way the wind is blowing out there."

You are 4 miles above the planet. At that point, the only reason to care about the wind direction is if you plan to step out onto the wing, mid-flight, and hit a four-iron, and I am not so stupid as to try that again.

You know that little seat-belt light, right? The one that tells you to buckle up because you are either about to hit turbulence or your pilot wants to "try something." They should add a cell-phone light and kill the pilot mic. That's all we need to know: Turn the cell phone off or buckle up.

I am willing to make two exceptions to this rule.

1. The "I Hear Sioux Falls Is Lovely This Time of Year" Exception

If the plane has to make an emergency landing, the pilot is allowed to tell you. Though even this exception is murky, because let's face it: If he didn't say a word, and you didn't realize you had an emergency landing until you walked into the terminal and saw the "Welcome to Sioux Falls" sign, would you really be any worse off?

2. The Grand Canyon Exception

The pilot is allowed to tell you if you are flying directly over the Grand Canyon, so you can look out the window and be awestruck. To clarify: I don't mean that the pilot can tell you about famous sights like the Grand Canyon. The Grand Canyon Exception only applies to the Grand Canyon itself. Sorry, Rocky Mountains, but from 20,000 feet you are just Earth acne anyway.

I can figure out everything else on my own, thank you very much. When the wheels leave the ground, we've left; when the wheels hit the ground, we've landed; and when my socks get wet, it's time to put on a life preserver. Now shut up and fly, OK?

Contact MICHAEL ROSENBERG at thebreakroom@freepress.com.
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Well then, Mr. Rosenberg must have some REAL serious issues with people talking in public on their cell phones!!! As long as it's not sleepytime on the plane, and if we're eating or being served, then the chances are good that most pax's are awake, then I don't mind at all when those pilots point things out! I want to know when I'm flying over my beloved Bryce or Zion, or Yosemite.
I'd much rather hear that rather than someone yackety yakking on their cell phone EVERYWHERE I go!
 
I can see this guy's issue....to a point.

However, I think he went a little far about threatening the lives of flight crew members. I know he probably isn't serious, but you shouldn't joke about that, especially in these days...bad karma man....

BTW, the boys over at the "other" aviation message board are goin' nuts over this article.....
 
Ehh, that was a little nasty, but I see the humor in the article.

The problem is, it was probably written to incite a riot, which is why his email address is prominently displayed at the bottom of the article.

Pilots love to fly off the handle and give reporters lots of material to write about to make us look even goofier.
 
The "I Hear Sioux Falls Is Lovely This Time of Year" Exception


lol.

As for the rest of the article, :rolleyes: I understand it was humorous, but people certainly do like to complain, don't they?

I can fly across the country in my quasi-leather seat, watching TV and eating free snacks and drinks. WTF?
 
Some airlines, yes! :)

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I wonder if he really, truly gives a crap.

Or if he just wrote it for the purpose of getting a reaction.

Because, honestly, any high school kid can throw together a piece like that.
 
Michael Rosenberg said:
But why do pilots have to make announcements at all? Once you hop in a giant aluminum tube and pay complete strangers to take you on a joyride 20,000 feet above the planet, you are pretty much in their hands. The least they can do is shut up.
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I have no problem with this. :)
 
Actually, does anyone really pay attention to the announcements anyway?

Hell, it'd make the job easier for you folks so I think it's all good!
 
The one or two times I've flown United, the CA did the PA-scenic thing on the closed-circuit channel that lets you listen to ATC. I thought that was pretty cool - those of us who wanted to, could listen. I think he was really enjoying it - talking about weather, flight, how different earth features affected the weather. Pretty interesting stuff.
 
killbilly said:
The one or two times I've flown United, the CA did the PA-scenic thing on the closed-circuit channel that lets you listen to ATC. I thought that was pretty cool - those of us who wanted to, could listen. I think he was really enjoying it - talking about weather, flight, how different earth features affected the weather. Pretty interesting stuff.
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Heh, that's kind of cool.

20th flight on that route for the pilot that week? :D
 
tonyw said:
Actually, does anyone really pay attention to the announcements anyway?

Hell, it'd make the job easier for you folks so I think it's all good!
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I do. :D Obviously, because of where I live, I'm on United a lot and because I'm also a dork/geek, :buck: I almost always listen in from my seat to the pilots, ground and ATC on their channel 9.
 
SkyCougar said:
I do. :D Obviously, because of where I live, I'm on United a lot and because I'm also a dork/geek, :buck: I almost always listen in from my seat to the pilots, ground and ATC on their channel 9.
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Channel 9 is another reason why I like UAL. That and being a UAL brat (if there is such a thing). I would like my sons to be UAL brats as well :rolleyes:
 
Threatening the lives of flight crew members is akin to threatening to hijack the plane.

I hereby request that the author be stripped of his air travel privelidges and if any other such threats surface he be moved to guantanimo for further questioning.
 
Yeah, I flew United a couple of years ago and enjoyed the channel 9age.

I even heard some joking out west, my memory is a little fuzzy because I was absolutely exhausted, I woke up just to hear this:

American123: Needa eehhh turn to 310

ATC: That will be 100$

American123: (and maybe another plane): *laughter*

American123: You can put that on our tab

ATC: Just practicing for privatization


I'm pretty sure my buddy thought I was weird for just laughing out of nowhere.
 
Funny article overall, and some truth to it. Crap, when I do make an announcement I forgot what I'm saying most of the time anyway.:)
 
Texasspilot said:
Threatening the lives of flight crew members is akin to threatening to hijack the plane.

I hereby request that the author be stripped of his air travel privelidges and if any other such threats surface he be moved to guantanimo for further questioning.
Click to expand...

I think you found the solution... he wont have to listen to any more PA's if he's on the no fly list ;)
 
I think this guy is a tool. I don't know how it is at other airlines, but at Colgan its required to brief the pax before take-off and landing. And rather then sound like an automated briefer, we actually show a little bit of human kindness in the briefing. Its about getting across the message of safety. I know for a fact that there are a lot of stupid humans out there who need to be told to put their damn seatbelt on, or place their bag under the seat. And its because of those lovely idiots that walk the earth, that we need to give safety briefings. As an added bonus and not to sound like a machine in the cockpit, we actually tell them the time enroute and the weather at the destination.

I could see if you're acting like an aerial tour guide - yeah, shut the heck up and fly. But safety briefings are required, automated or not. I think we should all go to this guys house and throw poo at his windows. :D
 
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