Do any of you pick a fight before you leave on a trip...

colleenb24

colleenb24

Well-Known Member
Because it makes it easier to separate? Or to justify what ever happens on the road? Maybe subconciously? This has become the usual occurance at our home. Husband always gets angry with me about something right before leaving on a four day. One of my pessimistic friends suggested he does it so he won't feel as guilty about whatever goes on on the road. Yesterday was our 22nd anniversary, I am a good wife, don't understand????
 
colleenb24 said:
Because it makes it easier to separate? Or to justify what ever happens on the road? Maybe subconciously? This has become the usual occurance at our home. Husband always gets angry with me about something right before leaving on a four day. One of my pessimistic friends suggested he does it so he won't feel as guilty about whatever goes on on the road. Yesterday was our 22nd anniversary, I am a good wife, don't understand????
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my cousins and I used to fight when it was close to time to go...Winnie and I don't do that (15 years married) however.
 
Your so called "friend" is the type of person who gives pilots bad reps. Most of us aren't out cheating on our wives or actively womanizing on the road. Start by dropping her. To your situation though, If you have been married for 22 years you should get any thought of your husband cheating on you out of your mind. My wife occasionally picks fights with me before I leave but its because she is upset I have to leave again. It happens and is usually over something petty. You should talk to your husband about it, some time when he isn't about to leave. oh and stop listening to stupid.....
 
I actually avoid doing that. Leaving on a trip when one/both of you is mad just isn't healthy. You'd have that much more time to sit and stew over it which is a great way to make a mountain out of a mole hill
 
colleenb24 said:
Because it makes it easier to separate? Or to justify what ever happens on the road? Maybe subconciously? This has become the usual occurance at our home. Husband always gets angry with me about something right before leaving on a four day. One of my pessimistic friends suggested he does it so he won't feel as guilty about whatever goes on on the road. Yesterday was our 22nd anniversary, I am a good wife, don't understand????
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funny you mentioned it. It has been happening lately in my household as well. Of course i kiss and make up on the day of my trip.
 
"Are you sure? Warm the slippers in the microwave and place them by the door, cook a three course meal, have a bottle of Old Rip sitting by the roaring fire, and wear the teddy."

I'm better than that! I don't spend money, make fabulous. make that amazing meals every night he's home, keep myself up, do all the housework/laundry and never say no. All he has to do is watch the golf channel. I even provided princess parking for 22 years.
I'm not as worried about cheating as just wondering if he really does do this to make it easier to leave? It is a definite pattern. I know, I need a job!!!
 
colleenb24 said:
"Are you sure? Warm the slippers in the microwave and place them by the door, cook a three course meal, have a bottle of Old Rip sitting by the roaring fire, and wear the teddy."

I'm better than that! I don't spend money, make fabulous. make that amazing meals every night he's home, keep myself up, do all the housework/laundry and never say no. All he has to do is watch the golf channel. I even provided princess parking for 22 years.
I'm not as worried about cheating as just wondering if he really does do this to make it easier to leave? It is a definite pattern. I know, I need a job!!!
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Please define this "princess parking"....does this go on in the bedroom or the driveway? very confused about that.
 
"princess parking" Where a flight crew member is driven to the airport, and dropped off in front of departures, then picked up at the end of the trip in front of the terminal. Saves the lucky recipient the time parking in the company lot, and then the shuttle ride to the terminal.
 
colleenb24 said:
"princess parking" Where a flight crew member is driven to the airport, and dropped off in front of departures, then picked up at the end of the trip in front of the terminal. Saves the lucky recipient the time parking in the company lot, and then the shuttle ride to the terminal.
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Maybe he doesn't want the other kids to see him get dropped off. I was like that in 8th grade.
 
I've been married for 15 years, and don't have this phenomenon. Admittedly, I'm not an airline pilot, but as a military dude I'm spending a lot of time away from home. Depending on the assignment, I might be gone in lots of little trips (like an airline pilot) or gone for long stretches (deployments, etc).
 
colleenb24 said:
"princess parking" Where a flight crew member is driven to the airport, and dropped off in front of departures, then picked up at the end of the trip in front of the terminal. Saves the lucky recipient the time parking in the company lot, and then the shuttle ride to the terminal.
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Thanks! I love this!
 
Pilotforhire587]To your situation though said:
Because it makes it easier to separate? Or to justify what ever happens on the road? Maybe subconciously? This has become the usual occurance at our home. Husband always gets angry with me about something right before leaving on a four day. One of my pessimistic friends suggested he does it so he won't feel as guilty about whatever goes on on the road. Yesterday was our 22nd anniversary, I am a good wife, don't understand????
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It's probably not deliberate, and your pessimistic friend is just that, pessimistic. We aren't all womanizing tools. A lot of my married coworkers and friends are quite happily married despite being gone anywhere from most to all the time.

Is he still angry when he gets back?

There have been times, in my parents' household (self, Mom, Captain Dad, and two younger brothers college and high-school aged), where an argument carries over from the day before a four-day to the day after a four-day. Usually, neither party can remember what the other was pissed off about. (Dad also never got princess parking. Okay, maybe once. And I was occasionally drafted for an early morning LAX run when his car was inop...got to know PCH really well.) The arguments that did stick around past a four-day were longstanding issues that were EVENTUALLY solved in family meetings.
 
colleenb24 said:
Because it makes it easier to separate? Or to justify what ever happens on the road? Maybe subconciously? This has become the usual occurance at our home. Husband always gets angry with me about something right before leaving on a four day. One of my pessimistic friends suggested he does it so he won't feel as guilty about whatever goes on on the road. Yesterday was our 22nd anniversary, I am a good wife, don't understand????
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Sit down, talk it out. Bring up the issue as the problem- not him or you. Speak calmly, rationally, and don't use the discussion to make accusations. Use terms such as "I feel" and avoid blaming statements.

If that doesn't work, go see a relationship counselor. Stop taking advice from biased and likely ignorant third parties. You know, like us. ;)
 
I'm not a pilot, but I traveled ALOT for work for a number of years. On average I was traveling 20-25 days per month. Both my wife and I noticed this "argument making" before I left on my trips. It was never about anything important though. It might have been me exploding something in the microwave or forgetting to make the bed, but based on the argument you would have thought that I'd just crashed the family car.

We noticed it was the actual act of departure and not the being gone itself. To mitigate the issue, I was able to schedule my trips so that they were longer times away instead of having many frequent departures. That may not be an option for pilots based on the scheduling systems, but I concur with Firebird. My wife and I were able to sit down, talk it out, and acknowledge our feelings. It turned out for us that the issue was her feeling like I'd come home, make a mess, leave my dirty laundry and then leave her to pick up the pieces just in time for me to get home and do it all again.

Once we had the issue identified, I started making sure that I left the house in the clean condition that I found it in which helped minimize the pointless departure arguments.
 
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