Did Anyone Else Hear About the Naked and Unruly Passenger Over Guard?

We use 123.45 over the ocean for air-to-air.

Interestingly enough, there are a lot of dinosaurs flying over the ocean and 121.5 is generally quiet.

TEENFORUM! :)
 
Roger Roger said:
My theory is the old guys have been around long enough to have had to use guard and want to keep it clear.
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Generally if anyone transmits on guard, they're having a "very challenging" evening and probably exiting the tracks.

123.45 is hilarious though.

"What's the score on the match?"

"Oh the game?"

"No, it's a match"

"0 - 1"

"One, nil, thank you, cheers"

"Nil? What?"

"Soccer sucks!"

"Bloody yanks"
 
There is a life goal, 2x 1qt bags filled with 3/oz bottles of KY, strip in bathroom lube up and try to get tackled running up and down the aisles! Haha
 
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Derg said:
I figure it's like this.

Someone makes a mistake on guard at FL350.

The VHF "line of sight" is roughly a 250 mile radius circle.

Now if even three of those planes screamed "ERRRRMMMMYURONGEEEEEEARD" at the extremes of reception, now you've got potentially a 500 mile circle of everyone else getting stepped on, blocked, etc, and so on and so on.

So up and down the eastern seaboard, the frequency because of jackassery, the 'work work work' crowd and Guard Nazis is completely unusable and pretty much explodes whenever I'm in the middle of getting a call from ATC.

If someone's on guard, turn down the radio. Chances are, he can't hear you say "You're on guard".

When in doubt, SHUT THE HELL UP.
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That would make for a really funny video. Someone takes a snapshot of all the aircraft in the air over the eastern seaboard at any given time, daisy chain some 250 nm rings around the "yeronguarrrd!" offenders and watch the consequences of a single guard transgression affect hundreds or thousands of airplanes who have to listen to said jackassery as it works its way up and down the east coast. :D
 
Derg said:
Generally if anyone transmits on guard, they're having a "very challenging" evening and probably exiting the tracks.

123.45 is hilarious though.

"What's the score on the match?"

"Oh the game?"

"No, it's a match"

"0 - 1"

"One, nil, thank you, cheers"

"Nil? What?"

"Soccer sucks!"

"Bloody yanks"
Click to expand...
Hell, I'm not that old and I remember flying planes with no GPS and starting to wonder how long I was gonna wait for that lake that was my next checkpoint to show up before I started calling for a DF steer on guard...kids these days don't know how easy they had it.
 
PeanuckleCRJ said:
Is that similar to LORAN? I was so freaking thrilled when I flew a plane with that! Many of my time building hours to get my commercial were in a C150 Aerobat with only a LORAN.
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Yeah. Was ground based with something like 8 stations worldwide.
 
Roger Roger said:
Hell, I'm not that old and I remember flying planes with no GPS and starting to wonder how long I was gonna wait for that lake that was my next checkpoint to show up before I started calling for a DF steer on guard...kids these days don't know how easy they had it.
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LakeNav. That's how I learned to navigate around North Texas and Oklahoma. Lakes.
 
Boris Badenov said:
The one that involved me soiling my Pampers? A story definitely more easily enjoyed at a great remove of time...
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killbilly said:
Okay. Now you have to tell it.
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I did the digging so you all don't have to...
Boris Badenov said:
I'd be lying if I said I remembered said discussion very well, for obvious reasons. But there's a very dim bug-light going off in the ole domepiece. IMS, the triggering event for the deals-with-God was a much earlier flight...right at the beginning of my tenure at FLX (stop me if I've told you all this one before...oh, you can't, too bad!). It would have been late 2005, and I'd been at CPS maybe a couple of weeks after about a month of flying a run out of Jackson, MS, which had mercifully never required any serious weather flying. And THAT was right after my flight training/check ride at FLX, which was itself right after I hadn't touched an airplane for a couple of years (and I'd NEVER touched one, let alone flown one as BIG and threatening as a 210). My 135 IFR PIC checkride at FLX was also my BFR/IPC. So let's just say that I was, as you kids might say, a bit of a Noob.

Got to the hangar at my normal OhmygodO'clock show time, walked in through sheets of rain to see that all of the other planes were gone. Well, gosh, they're mostly going the same way, so if they can do it, I can do it! Right? Uh, right. It was pretty much a disaster from start to finish, other than I kept breathing, shockingly. Blasted off and, wouldn't you know it, some joker had put VIH out of service, and welp, I'm /A so I'm a gonna have to go east down towards FAM. Except that's where the squall line is. No worries, those controllers have radar, right? RIGHT? I'll spare you the next hour and a half or so, except to say that the KC Center controller didn't hand me off to Memphis in a timely fashion (or I didn't hear it), and I got a quick refresher on "where do you find center frequencies on a sectional".

Except I couldn't read said sectional because I was in the middle of a line of level 3-4s and pooping my Pampers. Like, literally, it was impossible to read the frequencies due to the turbulence, and it was constant. For something on the order of 45 minutes. Came up on Guard to get a frequency and got the predictable "YER ON GUARD" (no screwing poop! Does it sound like I'm trying to order a pizza!?). Some kindly Sky Nazi or another finally told the Guard Police to shut up long enough to get me a frequency and I got vectored, finally, in to SGF. Where I proceeded to shoot a VOR to 20, miss (this is right around the time of frontal passage at the field...they're putting out specials as fast as they can press "record"), then shoot an ILS back in to 02. Landed in, and I'm pretty sure I'm not making this up or exaggerating, although I do have Halfheimers, a 40G52 knot crosswind from 10 degrees off the right wing. Put it on the right side of the runway, and by the time I'd stopped, the left main was almost in the grass on the other side. Had to taxi over to the right side of the runway to turn around, because my right leg was shaking so hard it couldn't hold the brake to turn the other way.

Now, here's the funny part. Once I got out, I had the Athiest's Epiphany. I mean your religious type might say that God answered my prayers and if I had any sense at all, I'd never fly again, as I'd promised over and over again. But, being a Supra-Genius, I recognized that all that had happened was that I was an Awesome Pilot. So I got right back in and off I went. I must have been right, because I haven't been struck down by lightning since! Oh, wait, well, that's not exactly true...

But this thread was supposed to be about COOL things. My bad.
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Derg said:
Generally if anyone transmits on guard, they're having a "very challenging" evening and probably exiting the tracks.

123.45 is hilarious though.

"What's the score on the match?"

"Oh the game?"

"No, it's a match"

"0 - 1"

"One, nil, thank you, cheers"

"Nil? What?"

"Soccer sucks!"

"Bloody yanks"
Click to expand...
"Apron"
 
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