death in the family

wayway8

wayway8

Well-Known Member
My younger brother Kurtland was murdered on Saturday by his boyfriend. They had just moved to LA and he was starting work at a new hospital as an emergency room doctor. I flew back from Compass training yesterday morning and am here with my parents in Phoenix.

There's an avalanche tasks that need to be accomplished. Has anybody who's had a sudden death in the family have any advice on what needs to get done immediately? Other than funeral and memorial arrangements. More along the lines of life insurance, investments, taxes, leases, etc.

Thanks in advance.

-Wayland
 
wayway8 said:
My younger brother Kurtland was murdered on Saturday by his boyfriend. They had just moved to LA and he was starting work at a new hospital as an emergency room doctor. I flew back from Compass training yesterday morning and am here with my parents in Phoenix.

There's an avalanche tasks that need to be accomplished. Has anybody who's had a sudden death in the family have any advice on what needs to get done immediately? Other than funeral and memorial arrangements. More along the lines of life insurance, investments, taxes, leases, etc.

Thanks in advance.

-Wayland
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I'm local. If you need help, you've got it.
 
wayway8 said:
...and am here with my parents in Phoenix.

...any advice on what needs to get done immediately?
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So very sorry to hear about this. Nothing can be said here to make things much better because almost no one can understand the magnitude of this.

Be with your family. EVERYTHING else can and will wait until you're ready and able to deal with it.


So sorry...
 
wayway8 said:
My younger brother Kurtland was murdered on Saturday by his boyfriend. They had just moved to LA and he was starting work at a new hospital as an emergency room doctor. I flew back from Compass training yesterday morning and am here with my parents in Phoenix.

There's an avalanche tasks that need to be accomplished. Has anybody who's had a sudden death in the family have any advice on what needs to get done immediately? Other than funeral and memorial arrangements. More along the lines of life insurance, investments, taxes, leases, etc.

Thanks in advance.

-Wayland
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I'm sorry Wayland. My condolences to you and your family.
 
I'm so sorry Wayland. I hope your family can spend time together in peace. Like you helped my wife and I when we moved to Hawaii we will try to help you and your family in anyway possible.
 
Wayland, my dear friend, my heart aches for you. Words don't exist that can provide the comfort I hope for, for you and your family....Me and D are here for you.
 
Been through this with the sudden death. NOTHING you have listed below needs to happen immediately. Take care of yourself and the rest of your family. That is the only thing that has to happen this week. All the other details will take care of themselves as you have time. Dont even think about them right now. You clearly have a bunch of friends here (and I am sure many others too). Take them up on their offers to help. They mean it and you are not imposing on them.

That, and dont get taken in by the funeral home. They are a disgusting, slimy breed that prey on people in your position.

wayway8 said:
My younger brother Kurtland was murdered on Saturday by his boyfriend. They had just moved to LA and he was starting work at a new hospital as an emergency room doctor. I flew back from Compass training yesterday morning and am here with my parents in Phoenix.

There's an avalanche tasks that need to be accomplished. Has anybody who's had a sudden death in the family have any advice on what needs to get done immediately? Other than funeral and memorial arrangements. More along the lines of life insurance, investments, taxes, leases, etc.

Thanks in advance.

-Wayland
Click to expand...
 
Thanks, to everyone. Just taking it day by day and trying to lead the family through difficult time.
 
Jimflyfast said:
Been through this with the sudden death. NOTHING you have listed below needs to happen immediately. Take care of yourself and the rest of your family. That is the only thing that has to happen this week. All the other details will take care of themselves as you have time. Dont even think about them right now. You clearly have a bunch of friends here (and I am sure many others too). Take them up on their offers to help. They mean it and you are not imposing on them.

That, and dont get taken in by the funeral home. They are a disgusting, slimy breed that prey on people in your position.
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After my experience, I have to agree with everything said here.

Take care of the arrangements, then focus on the process of you and your family getting through the grieving process.

Also, you gotta come up for air too. Make sure you remember what makes it great to enjoy everyday.
 
Lost my own kid brother a month ago today to sudden causes. My condolences and regrets that you're living out the same nightmare.

Take the time to be with family, be strong for yourself and your parents, but remember that sooner or later, life must go on. My ears are open for you if you ever need anything...
 
I lost my mom and brother in separate, sudden circumstances. My advice is to spend time with family, laugh at good memories etc. Make time to have fun. After my mom passed, my dad and I escaped for a few days to go skiing. It was a great relief to get a break from the situation.

I don't know what else to say other than feel free to PM me.

I'm sorry for your loss.
 
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