dealing with an addict family member

May I suggest "Celebrate Recovery." Also there is a song called the Spirit Song. It is found in most hymnals. Here is a prayer for your brother triple7.
I hope that it is ok with the Administrator to post this.

"Watch over your child, triple7's brother, oh LORD, bless and guide him wherever he may be, keeping him unspotted from the world. Strengthen when he stands, comfort him when discouraged or sorrowful; raise him up if he falls & in his heart may your PEACE abide all the days of his life, in Jesus' name I pray. AMEN."

God bless.

Blue skies.


atp
 
Thanks ATP, and everyone for their input. not sure what is gonna happen in the next few months, but whatever road lay out in front will for sure be long and rocky. Such a sad experience. What kills me is that you look at all the faces of those killed in the VT shootings, and watch stories of young parents who have lost children. I find my self asking why he is given the opportunity to not only live what could be a wonderful life with a family who loves him and lots of opportunity, but also to be blessed with such a perfect little boy. I guess life just isnt fair.

I can tell you though that I am going on my last 2 day for IOE and am gonna knock the bottom out of it. Leaving out of IAH with an overnight in Puebla mexico. Should be pretty cool. Time to show I can fly this airplane, da**it!
 
Trip7, everyone here has given some great advice.

I had a cousin who was like my brother end up dead, and a close family friend who is in jail now. I also have been a corrections officer for the last 8 years. So I have some pretty first hand knowledge of this kind of thing.

The whole "they have to want help, to be helped" is about as straight forward as it gets. However, if they don't want help then the next best thing is probably jail. Most county jails that I am familair with, it is pretty hard to actually get drugs in jail. Not saying it doesn't happen, but we screen every piece of mail here, and they can't have a package of any kind. People do sober up, and are some times able to look at things in a different from a different point of view. When they understand that once the get out, they will have some support is when it seems to work the best. You do have to be very catious once they do get out, because they are no where near the home stretch.


If you need any other kind of help or questions feel free to shoot me a PM.
 
I have lots of experience with this too. My brother is an alcoholic and will likely live another 10 years at best. My ex wife went loco and her drinking went off the deep end along with cheating and other things. I held her hand ane she went to AA for awhile, but it didn't stick. Her biggest problem is her mother won't let her hit rock bottom. I had to divorce her and take custody of my kids. Now I have a nanny and thankfully a flying job that gives me alot of hometime. There is nothing you can do to help until they help themselves. Short of that happening you are doomed to watching history repeat itself. It sucks, but thank god the kids are ok.
 
First of all let me tell you that I sympathize with you and your family in this hard situation.
As so many others have mentioned already don't stop loving him because he is like this, the most he needs right now is love from close family members. On the other hand he needs to get a hard sense of reality and usually that happens when someone gets arrested and faces the law.
He has to want to be helped if not no one and I mean absolutely no one will be able to help him. He has got to spend some time alone away from any drugs or alcohol so he can realize that he needs help, you guys somehow have to provide that for him.
 
My Family lived through this. I also have (had) a cousin die at 25 (not an O.D. but prolonged use of drugs). There has been some good advice, the the short of it is...offer support (no not money), offer to go with him to get help. if he doesnt want to get help HE WILL NOT GET IT! He wants money to score again!!! take care of the family as much as possible, but again dont give her (the g/f) money!!! He will talk her out of it!
Im sorry you have to deal with this, its not easy! But you have to be strong right now!
 
Hello I had a dear friend in a similiar situation as your brothers. Here's what I did to help 1st intervention i'm sure your family and close friends would be there to help you out. Right after you do the intervention i'm talking like an hour after drive him to an inpatient treatment center. The last resort that is actually the worse is make it so he goes to jail. I had to do this to another friend cause they were getting high 24/7 and the only thing that would help was to call the police. As sad as it is in jail the chances of them getting any drugs is a lot less then inpatient help. I know it sound horrible to send a family member to jail but when they are in there they have no chance but to dry up and go straight also it will give him time to truly reflect his life while in there.


Good Luck

Steven
 
it will give him time to truly reflect his life while in there.
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that's what i thought would happen when my dad went to jail...but actually, no... he could have cared less and didn't even help his attorney when his attorney needed it. at least now that he's out (paid his 85% price), he's trying little by little.. alot more than when he was behind bars. but then again, my dad's situation was different..albiet alcohol was the trigger to everything and it did do the trick in cleaning it out of his sytem.
 
I'm torn on jail, I guess it depends on how bad it is. But I've seen a few people able to clean up on their own and are now leading happy and successful lives and deserve the best despite a few years of problems. I know that if their families had sent them to jail, they'd have a record that may have prohibited employment in the future. On the other hand, if someone is dangerous enough that they could hurt someone, maybe it's best that they are locked up. I don't know. I just suggest not being too quick to just go w/ the jail route.
 
sschlesinger said:
The last resort that is actually the worse is make it so he goes to jail.
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TheWife said:
I'm torn on jail, I guess it depends on how bad it is. But I've seen a few people able to clean up on their own and are now leading happy and successful lives and deserve the best despite a few years of problems. I know that if their families had sent them to jail, they'd have a record that may have prohibited employment in the future. On the other hand, if someone is dangerous enough that they could hurt someone, maybe it's best that they are locked up. I don't know. I just suggest not being too quick to just go w/ the jail route.
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Like I said last resort i would rather have a family member behind bars then dead at least it would give him a chance to start fresh when he gets out hopefully.
 
One thing I have come to realize when trying to help friends or family members is to always stay grounded and make sure my needs are taken care of first. This is not meant to sound selfish, but how can we help someone else when our cup is half full. If we come from a place of peace and understanding we can accomplish much more than coming from a place of fear and frustration. Take time to do the things you enjoy in life and at the same time, be there for your brother. We are all here to walk our own special path in life. Sometimes it may not make sense when we see all the suffering in the world, but we all have a divine plan to fullfill.
 
Hey Triple7. I hope things are coming along for your brother. Today I drove my friend to a rehab clinic to check himself in. At the clinic I was told about a group called Co-Anon. It is much like AA or NA but designed to help family and friends through the tough task of dealing with a loved one who has a cocaine addiction. I thought I would post the website here for anyone that may be interested. They have groups all over the States, Canada, Sweden and the U.K.

http://www.co-anon.org/
 
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