Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.


edik
 
Chuck Norris goes to bed with the night-lite on, not because he's affraid of the dark, but because the dark is affraid of Chuck Norris.
 
Chris_Ford said:
Chuck Norris is sick of the Chuck Norris jokes.
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ok, lets switch it up...drop some Doug Taylor facts :)


DOUG TAYLOR is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

DOUG TAYLOR gave Mona Lisa that smile.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep DOUG TAYLOR out. It failed miserably
 
Doug Taylor made a sequel to Pretty Woman, in which he repeatedly roundhouse kicks Julia Roberts in the face for 90 minutes. He ends with the line "Not so pretty now, are ya BEEEEYATCH!!!"

Gary Coleman use to be 7 foot 2 inches...until he met Doug Taylor.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Doug Taylor can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
 
While on the set of Walker: Texas Ranger a newborn, baby calf was stillborn. Chuck rushed over and revived it with a series of beard burns. After his astonished film crew had gathered to congratulate Chuck, he roundhouse kicked the newly revived calf to the head killing it instantly. In doing so he reminded his crew that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard his foot broke off, flew back through time and is credited for killing Ameila Earhart.
 
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