Booty Calls, ATC and "You know, it's all recorded"

fholbert said:
Sometimes my mouth is loaded and I can't control what comes out of it. I might have said the same thing.

ATC has NO REASON to ask why you're changing your destination and it's really none of their business unless you declare.

I was VFR at 17,500 in my Viking and I must have had too much fiber the day before. I was never going to make Plainview Texas non stop from Chino. My hands were shaking the pressure was so great.

Me: Center 01B is diverting to (somewhere) NM out of 17,500.
Center: 01B say reason for diverting. <Come-on, I'm VFR!>
Me: I'm hoping that airport has a bush.
Center: Say again.
Me: I hoping that airport has a bush, a really big bush.
Center: Say again.
Me: <Kind of annoyed> I need to use their crapper.
Center: Oh, roger.

When I got to the FBO the men's room was occupied so I used the woman's room much to the horror of the young girl at the desk. After what I did in there I'll NEVER return to that airport again. They may have issued a NOTAM for the next few days.
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Post 9/11 VFR or IFR we were required to inform change of destination. Its slightly more relaxed now, but I hate asking reason because its always "I need to use the bathroom." As crass as it was I'd welcome the chance to inform someone of a change of destination due to "Dude's trying to get laid."
 
PositionAndHold said:
As far as I remember yes. Some times it's NOTAM'd closed and 25L is in use over night. There are some pretty strict noise abatement rules over night though. We have to be there by 2300 and can't take off until 0600. And we're in a stage four certified Lear 45.
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So no old school Saberliner 40 that is barely Stage I compliant will be departing at 0200? :D

Alot of airports in that area seem to have draconian noise abatement. Torrance, Northrop, John Wayne.....
 
MikeD said:
What's even funnier is when civil ATC issues the freq change by preset to the appropriate aircraft. :)
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Vance, which I understand to be a training location for both controllers and pilots, would sometimes hand me off with a "channel" instead of a frequency. After a couple times I just started reading it back. Good people up there.
 
MikeD said:
So no old school Saberliner 40 that is barely Stage I compliant will be departing at 0200? :D

Alot of airports in that area seem to have draconian noise abatement. Torrance, Northrop, John Wayne.....
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Yeah. SNA is about the worst. I knew a "guy" years ago that operated a Lear 25. Every time he'd have to go into SNA he'd call up the noise abatement office a day prior. Tell them he's trying a new noise abatement technique and wants to make sure they were really monitoring him. He take off normally. Call when he got back to home base and ask how he did. The answer was usually "ah, you busted the hell out of it but at least your really trying, so no worries". :)
 
ASpilot2be said:
You have an ident button on the yoke?
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Left side is map light and ident. Right side is AP disconnect, mic button, control wheel steering and trim tabs. For the life of me I don't know what I was doing. It was the worst flight we've had for awhile due to the smoke in the cockpit from the forest fires.
 
Cessnaflyer said:
Left side is map light and ident. Right side is AP disconnect, mic button, control wheel steering and trim tabs. For the life of me I don't know what I was doing. It was the worst flight we've had for awhile due to the smoke in the cockpit from the forest fires.
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Far too many damn buttons! I like my transmit button, AP disconnect, and pitch trim.
 
Itchy said:
They must have a mandate, because they always ask, almost always with the same phraseology.
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When I was at XOJET there was a rumor floating around that pilots were put on the "terrorism watch list" if they diverted. It seems silly now.
 
What I heard from ATC was:

"Say Again?"
(now knows what he heard and struggles with mixed emotions)
"Say Again?"
(Calls over coworkers cracking up and puts the comm on speaker)
"Roger".

ATC liked it. I think it's useless to repeat a joke so many times though. If I was going to make that first call and had to repeat, especially twice, I would probably just shout "I'M LAYING PIPE CANCEL IFR". Because obviously this guy was in IDGAF mode however lacked the witt to improvise when challenged.

NO STARS.
 
PositionAndHold said:
Again, I've never been asked to re-ident. Not once. In more than 2-3 years of doing it. It is the only place I do it though.
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Doesn't mean it's right. If you IDENT before I ask you to, I have no of verifying that you're the aircraft I'm trying to ID. As I said, to be legal the IDENT has to be in response to my request to do so.
 
A80TRACON said:
Totally incorrect. Thanks to 9/11 we are REQUIRED by Homeland Security. Believe me, we don't do anything, for the most part, that isn't madated, ordered or required.
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Because if there's a gun to my head, I'm going to start screaming we've been hijacked. Yup.
 
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