Being an air traffic controller...

[Autothrust Blue]

My reply whenever that happened was usually, "Calling without checking the frequency first—standby. N123—your transmission was totally blocked by somebody who didn't listen to the frequency before transmitting. Say again, please."

Then, after the retransmission, I would go back and say, "Okay, the person who called without checking the frequency first—now say again."

...have we spoken before?

It's almost 100% or close they wait for you to talk to an additional plane then check-in. Just like the only guy on the frequency saying "blocked".
"Other aircraft calling say again". Crickets.................. "Now the only aircraft on my frequency , Air Carrier 24 , climb and maintain........"

Yes, well, you all certainly are on the landline or "briefing" a lot too. (I know you are, just saying, it's tactless for us to say anything besides "uh blocked," just as I hear "Sorry, Air Carrier 123, I was on the landline" frequently.)

 

[TripSix]

Yes, well, you all certainly are on the landline or "briefing" a lot too. (I know you are, just saying, it's tactless for us to say anything besides "uh blocked," just as I hear "Sorry, Air Carrier 123, I was on the landline" frequently.)

Sorry. We're just trying to coordinate the "can I get direct XXX," and the "can we get flight level XXX"

 

[Autothrust Blue]

Sorry. We're just trying to coordinate the "can I get direct XXX," and the "can we get flight level XXX"

"Any chance for direct—SQUEE" "No, sorry, the previous eight airplanes that checked in already asked."

 

[Chief Captain]

Why the headbang?

I'm banging my head because the weekend warriors make me want to rip off my headset and throw it on the panel.

"2 Pop Fox wants flight following to Vero.....no.....uhhhhh Saint Pete at ahhhhh, six, no....make that eight five"

 

[TFaudree_ERAU]

I was headed to First Flight one gorgeous afternoon. I made a 10 out call, requested airport advisory etc, etc.

A 210 pilot pipes up with how he was back taxiing runway "zero two" (that's for another rant), and he was going to be departing and then making a right turn to join the shoreline and climbing up to 9,500 to head on over to some podunk town for his first checkpoint and then he'd be calling Washington Center for flight following to head on home. The whole transmission took at least a minute.

When he finally shut up, I asked him if he was going to tell us where home was.

Big mistake. He proceeded to tell me all about his little home town somewhere down in South Carolina.

When he finally shut up, I asked him if his dog was going to meet him at the door when he got home. I don't think he ever got the picture.

 

[MikeD]

The most fun I ever had as a controller was at R.A.F. Lakenheath—my first assignment after ATC Technical Training out of Keesler A.F.B. We'd get a pattern just chock full of F-4D and later, after the 48th TFW transitioned in '76, F-111E. Back then we'd jam those aircraft into the pattern so tight that we'd occasionally have to break them out to one of two VFR reporting points north of the field (Points Alpha and Bravo) and then reenter them. At times I'd have a dozen or more fighters in the pattern simultaneously. What a kick.

After that I was stationed at Davis-Monthan A.F.B., and it was a complete and utter zoo. At that time we were the busiest single-runway operation in the country, and there was no room for any kind of finesse whatsoever. The mix of traffic (A-7, A-10, F-106, C-130, UH-1, CH-53, Customs Citation, O-2, and various Boneyard aircraft) where simply too unforgiving. The slightest mistake forced us to break aircraft out of the pattern for resequencing by Tucson TRACON. That was not so much fun.

Closest I've ever seen to a midair occurred there. Flight of two Navy (why is it always the Navy?) F-8s on initial were instructed, "Break number four following a flight of two A-10s crosswind departure end, advise traffic in sight prior to break." Other aircraft in the pattern were a flight of two A-10s on base, and another flight of two on downwind. The F-8s reported the A-10s crosswind in sight and were instructed to, "Break to follow." What they had in sight were the two A-10s on base (how the heck do you get crosswind confused with base, fer cryin' out loud? not only are thy miles apart, the aircraft on those legs are traveling in opposite directions relative to the friggin' runway!). The F-8s broke midfield right into the flight of two A-10s on downwind. The A-10 lead saw what was happening and yelled out to his wingman, "ClimbClimbClimb." The two F-8s passed almost perfectly stacked between the two A-10s. From high to low it was: A-10, F-8, A-10, F-8, with no daylight any of us in the tower could see between any of the aircraft.

And then there's the occasional fatal crash involving an aircraft that you're controlling.

So, yeah, it can be a real blast, but it can also be a gigantic ulcer that leaves you shaking at the end of a busy shift. After 34+ years in the field, I'm rather glad I'm out of it.

were you at DM in the late '78 timeframe when the A-7 parked into the U of A campus street?

 

[A150K]

I was headed to First Flight one gorgeous afternoon. I made a 10 out call, requested airport advisory etc, etc.

A 210 pilot pipes up with how he was back taxiing runway "zero two" (that's for another rant), and he was going to be departing and then making a right turn to join the shoreline and climbing up to 9,500 to head on over to some podunk town for his first checkpoint and then he'd be calling Washington Center for flight following to head on home. The whole transmission took at least a minute.

When he finally shut up, I asked him if he was going to tell us where home was.

Big mistake. He proceeded to tell me all about his little home town somewhere down in South Carolina.

When he finally shut up, I asked him if his dog was going to meet him at the door when he got home. I don't think he ever got the picture.

Atleast he didn't say he was back taxiing on the "active". Anybody who calls any runway at an uncontrolled field "the active" deserves an ass kicking.

 

[RDoug]

were you at DM in the late '78 timeframe when the A-7 parked into the U of A campus street?

Not only was I at DM, I was working that day—Ground Control if I recall correctly.

The A-7 was returning from an engine repair job at Tinker. Checked onto the frequency and the first transmission out of his mouth was, "Whateverthecallsignwas—Just had an engine failure." Obviously wasn't repaired well enough, I guess.

A guy named "Smitty" Smith was working Local. Without even thinking (personally, I don't think he heard the whole transmission), he came back with, "Whateverthecallsignwas, DM Tower—Wind whatever, check wheels down, cleared to land."

The pilot came back with something like, "I don't think you understand. One engine is all I have."

By that time we were already on the crash phone and the supervisor was notifying the Tucson 911 operator.

Real shame, the outcome. The pilot steered toward a clear field and waited until almost too late to eject (below 100ft?). Gutsy move. But as soon as he departed the Corsair II, the damned thing veered and struck a vehicle. Two dead, as I recall.

 

[MikeD]

Not only was I at DM, I was working that day—Ground Control if I recall correctly.

The A-7 was returning from an engine repair job at Tinker. Checked onto the frequency and the first transmission out of his mouth was, "Whateverthecallsignwas—Just had an engine failure." Obviously wasn't repaired well enough, I guess.

A guy named "Smitty" Smith was working Local. Without even thinking (personally, I don't think he heard the whole transmission), he came back with, "Whateverthecallsignwas, DM Tower—Wind whatever, check wheels down, cleared to land."

The pilot came back with something like, "I don't think you understand. One engine is all I have."

By that time we were already on the crash phone and the supervisor was notifying the Tucson 911 operator.

Real shame, the outcome. The pilot steered toward a clear field and waited until almost too late to eject (below 100ft?). Gutsy move. But as soon as he departed the Corsair II, the damned thing veered and struck a vehicle. Two dead, as I recall.

Yeah, came down right at the 6th/Highland intersection. The guy steered it right down 6th before punching, but as you say, it took a slight veer. Then a car pulled out from an intersection street onto 6th, and was slammed into by the A-7.

 

[Apophis]

Atleast he didn't say he was back taxiing on the "active". Anybody who calls any runway at an uncontrolled field "the active" deserves an ass kicking.

My personal pet peeve is pilots who scream into an uncontrolled field, begin their initial callouts at 2 miles, ask if any traffic in the area will "please-advise", and then to top it all off, inquire as to whether right or left traffic is in use. This is usually accompanied by incorrect "trucker" style radio phraseology.

 

[A150K]

My personal pet peeve is pilots who scream into an uncontrolled field, begin their initial callouts at 2 miles, ask if any traffic in the area will "please-advise", and then to top it all off, inquire as to whether right or left traffic is in use. This is usually accompanied by incorrect "trucker" style radio phraseology.

"10.4 pal, I'll be makin' right traffic for the active. any traffc in the area please advise me"

 

[amorris311]

About three weeks ago inwasnflying with a guy who thought it would be funny to get wise with ATC. We were doing the standard selinsgrove arrival into IAD when we were supposed to check in with Potomac approach. We checked in and everything was good. We began running checklists and getting involved with the arrival when apparently Potomac was trying to get ahold of us. I missed it as well as my first officer. When we finally heard the anger in the controllers voice my first officer replied with a,"sorry I was on the landline remark". At first I wanted to kill him for saying that but since we were one of two airplanes on the frequency I started to lighten up. The controller came back and laughed but it was still as unprofessional as it could get. I feel bad for controllers from time to time especially as the phraseology has seemed to take a turn for redneck town. This has nothing to do with the OP but I thought I would share.

 

[RDoug]

Good comeback, amorris. I would have come back with, "Then where's my release?"

 

[Chief Captain]

The other day I heard a guy coughing on the radio followed by a non-standard transmission with a southern drawl...


"cough, cough...wow....approach, 5 sugah pop leavin four for five"


no BS. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or get irritated. I think I wound up laughing.

 

[dasleben]

My pet peeve (and I know there are a few others who know exactly what I'm talking about):

We fly lots of weird schedules at my company, usually in the wrong direction everyone else is going over the Atlantic. American, Continental, Delta, etc. are all going east at 3am, but we're just sitting down to dinner westbound on some random routing north of the organized tracks. HF is quiet...no traffic...cross into northern Canada and Gander/Moncton are quiet... Just sitting there in your peaceful cocoon watching the miles tick down and the sun slowly come up.

And then you cross into the US.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey there center, Yoooonited's 196 with you checkin' on climbin' through two-four-oh for three-seven-oh...good mornin', how's the ri----SCREEEEEEEEE"
"BLOCKED"
"Chautauqua 2253 bumpin' along here at flight level three-four-oh, you got any ride reports?"
"YERRR ON GUARRRRDDDDD"

Head...throbbing.... Mood...quickly deteriorating... And guess what? 4 more hours to go.

 

[derg]

My pet peeve (and I know there are a few others who know exactly what I'm talking about):

We fly lots of weird schedules at my company, usually in the wrong direction everyone else is going over the Atlantic. American, Continental, Delta, etc. are all going east at 3am, but we're just sitting down to dinner westbound on some random routing north of the organized tracks. HF is quiet...no traffic...cross into northern Canada and Gander/Moncton are quiet... Just sitting there in your peaceful cocoon watching the miles tick down and the sun slowly come up.

And then you cross into the US.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey there center, Yoooonited's 196 with you checkin' on climbin' through two-four-oh for three-seven-oh...good mornin', how's the ri----SCREEEEEEEEE"
"BLOCKED"
"Chautauqua 2253 bumpin' along here at flight level three-four-oh, you got any ride reports?"
"YERRR ON GUARRRRDDDDD"

Head...throbbing.... Mood...quickly deteriorating... And guess what? 4 more hours to go.

YES

YES

YESYESYES.

Very well put.

The tracks and Canada are so peaceful, for the most part, then you get the Clampetts once you cross over into the US.

Except, on the tracks, for those danged Brits asking about Cricket scores and the Americans that argue incessantly with them on 123.45.

"Anyone have the score for the match?"

"It's a game"

"Actually, Cricket is a match"

**SCREEEEEE** "That ain't no game!"

"The game was 123 to nil"

"What da hell's a nil?"

"It's a zero, Yank"

"Welp, cawl it a zerr'uh then!"

Aye yi yi. COM2 *deselect*

or my other favorite: "Aircraft east of thirty west, do you have any ride reports?" — ok, there are 20 or so aircraft within VHF range, numerous tracks and flight levels, but Jackwagon wants a ride report.

 

[Apophis]

"10.4 pal, I'll be makin' right traffic for the active. any traffc in the area please advise me"

I seriously LoL'd at this. You nailed it!

The only thing that could make this better, would be to throw in a request for airport advisories from the unicom operator (when the A/FD says "unicom unmonitored" and there is an asos/awos already on the field).

 

[Barty]

My reply whenever that happened was usually, "Calling without checking the frequency first—standby. N123—your transmission was totally blocked by somebody who didn't listen to the frequency before transmitting. Say again, please."

Then, after the retransmission, I would go back and say, "Okay, the person who called without checking the frequency first—now say again."

A lot of times that would be met with several moments of silence because the idiot wouldn't want to self-identify who he was to everyone on frequency, and those who were about to call up didn't want anyone to think it was them.

Ha, I'll have to try that tomorrow. Of course I jinxed myself posting the comment about flight following requests this evening. I hear half of someone's callsign because I'm working a combined sectors with two frequencies, I say "say again callsign requesting flight following" and of course, I get ALL of their information.

People, take a moment to LISTEN to what is being said before you key up the mike!

 

[RobertB]

I absolutely HATE the guys requesting flight following that just start giving all of their information without having been acknowledged first. It is almost always replied to with "say again callsign." Of course, I get the whole thing again, which usually means it takes me at least twice as long to get everything down. Speak at an even pace, ANNUNCIATE clearly, and skip the jargon and jive. It seems like most of the guys asking for flight following also have the worst radios, making everything that much worse.

Trying to get someone's position, altitude, and equipment suffix is like pulling teeth sometimes. When I had my primary training, I was taught to ALWAYS give that information when requesting flight following.

I like when a guy wanting flight following gives me all the information in one conversation so he isn't clogging up with my frequency waiting for me to acknowledge him.

I don't need to hear KILO in front of your destination!

Give me your callsign...Where you are at...Where you are wanting to go...Type aircraft

 

[A150K]

I seriously LoL'd at this. You nailed it!

The only thing that could make this better, would be to throw in a request for airport advisories from the unicom operator (when the A/FD says "unicom unmonitored" and there is an asos/awos already on the field).

I never understood asking for airport advisories at an airport with an ASOS/AWOS...There is one field in my area (GNT) where the airport manager will give them as soon as you make your initial call up if he's in his office, but that's because he's old school and the definition of a badass
(one of those guys that every pilot within a 100nm radius knows).