and the sunglasses on his head??
AIDS its real
- Thread starter Kingairer
- Start date
aviatorrbt
New Member
[and i thought you meant the virus] sorry about your situation. we all have gone through or will go through one or more of these, keep your head up.
Soul Brotha'
Off to go do Black guy stuff
Sorry to hear about the situation. I've been at my regional for only three months and my wife is already starting to bug. "I'm here all by myself while your gone and blah, blah , blah." I feel bad for her but she knew what we were getting into when I started training. Crap, that's why we got the dog. Any advice to a guy who is doing what he wants to do but the wife is having second thoughts?
Cruise
Well-Known Member
Send her packing! Airplanes are WAY better than women.....in all but one instance that I can think of......
sbe
Well-Known Member
Knowing what one is getting into and actually experiencing it are two different things. Hopefully I can offer some ideas for you. And "send her packing" is not going to be one of them. I really hate today's "throwaway marriage" mentality (look at divorce rate) - what happened to "for better or for worse" and actually making effort to work on issues instead of saying "ok I'm done, she's being a *&%!$" and filing the paperwork. There are times when "sending people packing" IS appropriate (mental/verbal/physical abuse, cheating, addictions, etc etc) but when things are workable...try to work!
Anyway, like I said, knowing what you are getting into and that the other is going to be gone for stretches of time can SEEM ok "on paper", but you actually have to experience it to know how you are going to handle it or not handle it. Did she think to herself, great, I'll spend time with girlfriends, with family, my hobbies? And then when you were gone, think "this sucks" and be lonely?
In a relationship, for it to be balanced each individual has to give 50% in lots of different areas. And each individual has to be happy and complete in themselves for the relationship to succeed. Work, home, relationship, hobbies, family, friends, all that must have equal balance. A lot of people let "relationship" or "work" take over 50, 60% or way more of this 'building block' setup of things that make us whole. When that happens, we become unbalanced as individuals.
I know it's easy to get in a rut and feel lonely when our other half is gone. It's hard to do, but if she doesn't do so, she needs to spend that time having girls nights out, doing the things she loves - shopping, going out, any hobbies she has.
My other half doesn't travel a lot, but when he does, or when work keeps him out all evening or he's busy with his band, I take that time to go ride the horses, clean the barn, fly with my students, schedule a girl's night out, do shopping (or anything else he hates to do!)...or hang out at the house with a glass of wine watching things he hates to watch and doing girly stuff.
I used to fall in the lonely trap. Then I realized I'd moved away from the stuff that made me a complete individual and put too much of my time into the relationship. Gotta keep things for yourself. That you enjoy. And then when YOU are home, you guys can do couple stuff and recharge. And you need to be willing to give her that couple time when you are home, make her feel loved and wanted and know that you think of her and miss her when you are on the road...
...but also, it's her chance to go be who she is as an individual and keep that important life balance.
Hope that helps.
Cruise
Well-Known Member
Send her packing! Airplanes are WAY better than women.....in all but one instance that I can think of......
Ok, guess I should clarify myself and put this in too
It would seem sbe is a little touchy......it was a joke! Get it? Of course I didn't mean he should send her packing......JOKE.
It's always unfortunate when things don't work out the way we intend them to be. I agree, you need to talk to her and discuss your situation....hopefully you two can work out some type of agreement between your personal lives and your professional lives. Talking to each other about it is definitely the way to go....at least for now.
X-Forces
Big Black Guy
I am really sorry to hear about your situation, and I am always sorry to hear about situations such as this in general.
I know that everyone replying is pulling for you in their own personal way, and wish you all the best. I have to admit, however, I am personally horrified when situations like this are made light of.
I guess I am of the same mindset as sbe, or I maybe I am just old fashioned. I figure that most everyone here has been through a break up at one point or another, and we all know that they can be tough. If we are talking about a marriage it can be unbearable and, god forbid, there are kids in the equation I defy anyone to so much as grin at the prospect.
sbe
Well-Known Member
Touchy? Naw, but thanks for playin'.
I was merely using your statement as a way to note that I DO see and hear that mentality all the time. If you reread the paragraph, nowhere does it address your post in particular other than borrowing your phrase - I simply used it as a springboard to discussing the idea of marriage being little more than a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with (sometimes) a shared bank account.
If I had taken offense to what you had written, I would have quoted you directly, addressed you directly, or flat out said so.
Sarah
sbe
Well-Known Member
Absolutely. Hence my belief that while one can say that their spouse/significant other "knew it was coming" when the other became involved in an airline or corporate career, you can't really know what it is going to be like, or how you will handle it, until you experience it firsthand.
I did experience it once when between the two of us were apart most of one month (if he wasn't traveling, I was)...it does kind of suck. My hat is off to all of you who adapt to it successfully!
zmiller4
Well-Known Member
It's true. Commuting to reserve=generally no bueno. But if you find ways to stick it out, it's that much more badass when December bids come in and you find out that you're getting based in your home city with a line that's got 15 days off. That makes things much mo betta.
Unnecessary cheap shot at an airline that's putting almost no one without prior 121 experience in a jet. Why be like that?
