Abusive relationship

Maximillian_Jenius said:
... frack off ... fracking ... crap.




As she is still there with Vagus possibly being abused in simply unimagable ways.



... fracking ... Frack that ... frack you ... who the frack ... fracking ... fracking ...


... FRACKING ... FRACKING ... Fracking ..fracking give a frack, you frack.

... fracking ... fracking ...


If you persist with your constant petty immature barage of insults and bickering toward me. I will be forced to have a moderator intervene on my behalf.
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I must say, you do not represent JetCareers well in this post. Call a moderator?!?! HA! It appears to me they already know about this thread. I would think that if they'll approve of all your fracking, they must allow the words moron and idiot. Now, what were you saying about FlightInfo? And my contributions on JetCareers? Did you contribute to the discussion on atmospheric models?


Once again, it's not about you, Jenius, and it's not about me. It's about Vernetta and her kids, and you still admit she is likely being abused, and that her life is at risk.


Why don't you give the name, cell phone number, and place of employment to someone you trust here on JetCareers, and let them make the phone call? All they need to do is print out this thread and turn it over to the authorities. Then your hands and conscience will be clean.



I'd hate to think of what the family would think were they to read this thread after Vernetta's funeral, to know that someone knew she was in danger, and didn't give her the help she needed.



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Tony,


Listen man, I've been known to be a prick before, and I'll admit it when I am; but you're taking this way too far. Back up off dude.
 
**Update**

The police came out to the house last night to investigate the report filed. Vernetta lied to the police to protect Vagus because of his prior conviction for domestic violence/assult.

The police sensing she was lying ran Vagus name/SSN through the system and he had an outstanding warrant for failure to appear in court. So he is in jail for the Christmas holiday weekend.

She told told the officer that the report was filed by a jealous girlfriend trying to maliously hurt him. So he knows that she has been talking to people and called her from jail and said "its on when he gets out."

Anita said that Vernetta is absolutely heated that she and I did that (as she said) behind her back and hates both of us. She said that we selfishly did that not at all considering her or her childrens safety when he gets out and is scared that he is going to kill her when he gets out.

Anita said she was going to go over there on lunch and again try to convince her to leave before he gets out. Vernetta drove over there after he was arrested last night to confront Anita. She said that during their knock out dragout fight at her house she tried to get her to pack up her stuff and leave but said that she was unwilling to leave. Saying that Vernetta was more interested in smoothing things over with Vagus when he gets out and reassuring him that she played no part in having the police called out to her house and him gettng arrested.

She said that running would only mean she was guilty, cause guilty people have to run and hide but she isn't guilty so she feels no need to run and hide.

*Disclaimer*

Not posting this as a sort of ha ha ha told you so or to be a drama queen as I have been called. Just giving people updates About Vernetta as JC support for her and her situation has been phenominal and you all seem to geniuenly care for her and her kids safety & well being.

-Matthew
 
MQAAord said:
I sure wish she'd take this opportunity to seek safety. :(
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She'd wish she had, when she tries to smooth things over with that knucklehead.

Regarding that told you so comment this is really "showing her the light", better than any past attempts at "showing her the light". Especially if he does something to her after he gets out, providied she doesn't leave. Its all part of helping somebody out and helping should always be done. Sometimes, people don't know how to ask for help or pretend they don't help and kick and scream even though your helping, ie. kids. All in all, this is the best thing anybody could have done for her aside from what she can do for herself.

P.S. - Bringing up the told you so idea was the most childish thing in this thread if you ask me. I find it funny that people say I didnt wanna say I told you so, but....
 
Sprint100 said:
She'd wish she had, when she tries to smooth things over with that knucklehead.

Regarding that told you so comment this is really "showing her the light", better than any past attempts at "showing her the light". Especially if he does something to her after he gets out, providied she doesn't leave. Its all part of helping somebody out and helping should always be done. Sometimes, people don't know how to ask for help or pretend they don't help and kick and scream even though your helping, ie. kids. All in all, this is the best thing anybody could have done for her aside from what she can do for herself.

P.S. - Bringing up the told you so idea was the most childish thing in this thread if you ask me. I find it funny that people say I didnt wanna say I told you so, but....
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Well it should and at least for me has never been about "told ya so." Its always been about helping this women and her children out of a tight spot. I'll admit that I got and still am frustrated by the entire situation with Vernetta.
But she apparently isn't talking to me even though her number has been changed and I don't have the new one. I say whatever...But at least (maybe) her and her kids might now have a nice *normal* christmas!

-Matthew
 
Matthew, this lady needs help. Both to protect her, and to protect her kids.

She is in way over her head, and doesn't see any way out, so she is trying desperately to make it work with this jerk. She is going to get herself, and maybe her kids, seriously hurt or even dead. She acts like she doesn't want help, because all that she can think is that she will lose the one that *loves* her. She doesn't understand that there is a better life out there, she can only see the loss and the down side and the bad things that might happen if she leaves this guy.

What she needs to know is that there is hope, and a place of safety, and that her life will be better without him. She really, really needs to hear that from the people that can truly help her. She needs to talk to the people at the domestic abuse agency, because they will understand what she is going through, why she feels the way that she does, and they will know how to show her the way out of her situation.

I am not an expert in this field. The people at the domestic abuse agencies, or the womens' shelters are experts. Please, please get with Anita and the two of you call one of the agencies, tell them the situation, and ask them what they think that you should do. They deal with these things every day. They understand the position that Vernetta is in. They can help by giving good, practical advice to you guys, and hopefully find a way to get Vernetta out of this.

Don't let Vernetta's anger get in the way of doing the right thing. Of course she is going to be angry, all she can think of is that she is going to lose *her man*. She is too emotionally involved to really understand that there is hope, and a way out. Help her to find the way out. Before it is too late.

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
The National Domestic Violence Hotline.





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SteveC said:
Matthew, this lady needs help. Both to protect her, and to protect her kids.

She is in way over her head, and doesn't see any way out, so she is trying desperately to make it work with this jerk. She is going to get herself, and maybe her kids, seriously hurt or even dead. She acts like she doesn't want help, because all that she can think is that she will lose the one that *loves* her. She doesn't understand that there is a better life out there, she can only see the loss and the down side and the bad things that might happen if she leaves this guy.

What she needs to know is that there is hope, and a place of safety, and that her life will be better without him. She really, really needs to hear that from the people that can truly help her. She needs to talk to the people at the domestic abuse agency, because they will understand what she is going through, why she feels the way that she does, and they will know how to show her the way out of her situation.

I am not an expert in this field. The people at the domestic abuse agencies, or the womens' shelters are experts. Please, please get with Anita and the two of you call one of the agencies, tell them the situation, and ask them what they think that you should do. They deal with these things every day. They understand the position that Vernetta is in. They can help by giving good, practical advice to you guys, and hopefully find a way to get Vernetta out of this.

Don't let Vernetta's anger get in the way of doing the right thing. Of course she is going to be angry, all she can think of is that she is going to lose *her man*. She is too emotionally involved to really understand that there is hope, and a way out. Help her to find the way out. Before it is too late.

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
The National Domestic Violence Hotline.
.
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Great advice, Steve. The experts are needed!!!!!!!!!!
 
She has to call the police, that is the grounds for any further action. For example` if she wants to get a restraining order against him there is no way a court will take action unless there is a police report present concerning the same exact case.
Calling the police also helps bringing awarness from the neighbors so if anyone has the guts may even help her if God forbis something bad is bound to happen.
 
Anita should just pick her up and instead of trying to get her to pack her things... just take her over to a shelter so they can talk some sense into this woman!!!

forget the "stuff"...they're just materials...
 
Max

Aside from getting the Police involved & calling a womans shelter for advise, there are not many other options.

I will say one thing though, DO NOT GET INVOVLED, meaning, do not do the macho man thingy & kick the guy's arse, that would get you in some serious trouble & involved in the drama.

You may suggest your friend get some counseling in the future when things have quieted down, you said she was in an abusive relationship before, some women seek out these type of relationships....
 
MJ,

There is a good family shelter I know of in PHX - La Mesita - I worked there as an intern through ASU a few years ago. It is a family shelter at 2254 Main St in Mesa, AZ. Phone # is 834-8723. Good people over there, I think it would be worth a phone call.
There is also a good number she can call - city of phoenix victim witness program - 534-1929 (i think are code is 602). I recommend you even try to make a call yourself if you feel so inclined.
 
To get the police there sooner - all she has to say is she thinks she killed him, a dozen cop cars will be there in 3 minutes!!
 
Call the Po po's. or seriously seek help at a shealter, stay with a friend anything to protect yourself theres plenty of methods to do so, googling it will help.
 
Maximillian_Jenius said:
Hey...just wanted to get some quick advice from peeps in this forum. A friend of mine here at work confided in me couple of weeks ago that she is involved in a domestic violence situation with her current live in boyfriend.
After weeks of arguing and mental abuse and some "light" physical violence as she said. She was fed up and finally put him out this weekend.

Well she just told me that last night after work she came home to a dark house. And as soon as she walked in the door he was there choking her and punching her. He dragged her in to her room and preceeded to continue hititng her.

Then preceeded to sufficate her with a plastic bag. As she said he did it to show her what it feels like to be helpless.

This guy is a total loser. He is 25 and has no job no money and lives up at her house rent free. Drives her car around all day while she is at work and doesn't fill up the tank and hits her for not filling up the tank.
He has completely has taken over her life and her house.

As is normally the case this isn't her first time with a violent abusive lover. Her "baby daddy" was violent to her as well when they were married. She of course thought to call the police but she lives in south PHX which to the uninformed is the ghetto of Phoenix. When she was going through her stuff with her ex-husband she called the police on him several times and each time they got there 2-3 hours later.

So she is worried that if he goes through with his many threats and beat her again. As she said maybe next time to the death. If she calls the police it won't matter since they won't arrive till 2-3 hours later and she and her children could be dead by then.

She is so scared and says she has no one to talk to. She says that she is just going to deal with him living there out of fear that he will hurt/kill her or her children and hope that one day soon he will just leave.

I told her he won't. Any any advice that I could give her?

-Matthew
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Horrible. The first few paragraphs make me sick and filled with wrath. I really somtimes wish we could just rack such people or burn them or somthing. It just sickens me such "people" live in the world. I think it is inapt to even call them animals. Animals are higher than that on the hiearchy. Tell her to call the cops by all means. This guy needs to be put away. He is a danger to society. It is the only way to to protect herself and her family. I know it may seem pointless to call the cops, but what is not calling the cops going to do? Nothing for sure. Just allow the abuse to continue. A woman deserves to be loved. Only humans are capable of love. I hope therefore she can find a human being. Sorry for the rant. Things like this really get me fired up. My advice: Call the cops, get professional help like groups for abused women.
 
Theotokos said:
Horrible. The first few paragraphs make me sick and filled with wrath. I really somtimes wish we could just rack such people or burn them or somthing. It just sickens me such "people" live in the world. I think it is inapt to even call them animals. Animals are higher than that on the hiearchy. Tell her to call the cops by all means. This guy needs to be put away. He is a danger to society. It is the only way to to protect herself and her family. I know it may seem pointless to call the cops, but what is not calling the cops going to do? Nothing for sure. Just allow the abuse to continue. A woman deserves to be loved. Only humans are capable of love. I hope therefore she can find a human being. Sorry for the rant. Things like this really get me fired up. My advice: Call the cops, get professional help like groups for abused women.
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Burning them wouldn't fix the problem. How is that any more civil than what you are arguing against anyways?
 
Theotokos said:
Horrible. The first few paragraphs make me sick and filled with wrath. I really somtimes wish we could just rack such people or burn them or somthing. It just sickens me such "people" live in the world. I think it is inapt to even call them animals. Animals are higher than that on the hiearchy. Tell her to call the cops by all means. This guy needs to be put away. He is a danger to society. It is the only way to to protect herself and her family. I know it may seem pointless to call the cops, but what is not calling the cops going to do? Nothing for sure. Just allow the abuse to continue. A woman deserves to be loved. Only humans are capable of love. I hope therefore she can find a human being. Sorry for the rant. Things like this really get me fired up. My advice: Call the cops, get professional help like groups for abused women.
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**Update**

Sometime last month Vernetta called me while I was at work. I didn't get to the phone as I was away from my desk. So I called her phone back and left a message. After getting home I found out that I had a voicemail message. I listened to it and it was from her abusive boyfriend Del Vagus.

He was violently beating her and kicking her in the voicemail message you could vividly and hauntingly hear her cries and screams. Her savage beating was as a result of my phone call. My voicemal message was nothing special. "Vernetta this is Matt sorry missed your call. I was in a meeting call me back."

He warned me in the message that I caused her to get beat. And if I ever called her again he would beat her two times more savagely and that he would roll up to "the spot" (slang for the J-O-B) and take care of me. Well after that I was horrifided for my friend. The next morning I let my supervisor listen to the message and she promply got in contact with HR. Later we let the Tempe police listen to the message who said we needed to call PHX police because she lives in PHX and Tempe didn't have juristicion (sp).

PHX police did a wellness check on her and he (Del Vagus) was promply arrested for assult & battery or domestic violence. He was in jail all weekend and on Monday at his court date he was O.R.'d (released own recognisents-sp) by the judge even though the arresting officer said in the arrest warrant that their were visible signs of abuse. So Vernetta was staying at her parents house after learning he was released because he and his friends were calling her phone like every 10 mins threathening her with violence.

She was supposed to return to work Feb 01st because her disability claim was denied by the insurance company. But as of today she has yet to return to work and Gary her manager hasn't heard from her. Donald one of my co-wrkers and her good friend tried to call her phone number but it was disconnected...
 
get back in touch with phx police and have them go check on her then! as evidence, you could use the disconnected phone thing and tell them she was supposed to be back at work and how many people have been trying to contact her. actually, i'd use HR for that too...

hopefully she just changed her phone number so they couldn't call her anymore. have you talked to her family?

also, does she have a lawyer? if so, maybe through her parents - you can help her with the evidence in the voicemail... ie: make sure you somehow save that voicemail message. it could be used as evidence to help put him away for good....

I have a hard time believing they would release him without a higher bail cost...esp with the past charges and the arrest report.
 
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