A funny thing happened on my way through security...

ILSstud

Well-Known Member
I thought you guys might find this a little humorific on a Saturday morning...
So I was flying from ATL to Grand Cayman yesterday morning, and I am going through "securrrrrrrity" as they said on Soul Plane...anyways I was waiting in line and I notice a TSA manager or something (in her frickin' sweet new uniform with shiny badge) place a canvas back discretely in front of my bag and run off. This is the exchange I witness:

ATL TSA Agent *frantically starts jumping up and down* : "Gurl...get a manager in here ...shoooot...I found the gun....gurl gets me a manager I am on my game today!!"

TSA Manager: "Chantal...you can't announce these things so loudly, it's a reason of national security that we do these things to keep you guys on your toes."

and here is the kicker...
ATL TSA Agent: "Sorry....it's just that I was ABOUT TO LOOK AWAY FROM THE MONITOR"

Now tell me, don't you feel safe now!? UGH...I guess they can keep strip searching my grandmother and pilots now...
 

JoelT

Well-Known Member
How dare you you expose holes in the screening system! Why do you hate America? (EXTREME :sarcasm:)
 

Velocipede

New Member
Kip Hawley would say she's the screener of the century. After all, 90% of the test items made it past the TSA in EWR and he called that a success.
 

frog_flyer

FredFlyer
Kip Hawley would say she's the screener of the century. After all, 90% of the test items made it past the TSA in EWR and he called that a success.
Anyone hear about the 3 bag test?

Bag 1: Water bottle

Bag 2: Bomb + Machete

Bag 3: Water Bottle


Guess which bags they found?
 

Toria

Well-Known Member
Kip Hawley would say she's the screener of the century. After all, 90% of the test items made it past the TSA in EWR and he called that a success.
On my recent trip to Europe my carry-on cosmetic bag was opened because it contained something not easily identified by the x-ray screener. It was my jewelry. Since when is metal and stones not identifiable on x-ray? The guy laid it all out on the table. Thanks. The reason it was not in my checked bag was to keep it concealed and in my personal possession. All the gel lip gloss I forgot to put in my ziplock, not a word. At least they didn't "strip" search me again. :confused:

Trip to Europe: FANTASTIC!
 

v1valarob

Well-Known Member
I thought you where going to say that on your way through security, you wondered "why the hell did Jetblue get their own security?"
 

flyboywbl

3rd regional in 1 year
Back in my Bachelor days, i took a trip to London (this was Post 911). Of course i chose to pack about an hour before i had to leave for the airport. I could not find my backpack any where. My room mate told me i could use his. like any idiot i did not look through little pockets to make sure there was no contraband in it. I threw my carry one stuff in the big and medium pockets. Laptop, magazines, ipod, sweatshirt, ext. I flew from Bozeman to KMSP and then left the airport to have lunch with my folks ( my flight to Gatwick was not for seven hours). After lunch and hanging out at my folks place i went back through security, got on the plane and flew to Gatwick. I went through customs where they went through my checked bag. I had a great trip seeing all the sites and then when it was time to pack up i went through every pocket of the back pack i had borrowed from my roommate including the small front pocket. What did i find? A bag of Marijuana, a bic lighter and a pack of rolling papers. I freaked out and flushed it down the toilet.

Then it dawned on me. I had made it through two security screenings and Customs!!! I know thats not what they were looking for primarily but still i was really lucky!!!

Any way when i got home i had a talking with my roommate. He said "Oh thats where that stuff was"

I was like "Are you kidding me?!?!?! i could have been arrested for trafficking across state lines as well as into different countries!" I don't think they would of bought "I did not know that was in there" and "this aint my backpack".

I also thought about how lucky i was to have found it before i tried to go back to the US.

Moral to the story? Always ALWAYS check every single pocket of your luggage before you go to the airport. Especially if you are borrowing it from someone else!

Anyway just thought i would share my Scary/Funny encounter about TSA and customs.

-Matt
 

flyboywbl

3rd regional in 1 year
Oh yah i forgot about the Smerf uniform. they unvalued them during the republican national conventions in MSP. I remember every one asking about them while i was back visiting the folks.
 

CoffeeIcePapers

Well-Hung Member
We do Lasergrade testing, which the TSA contracts out to do their computer inverviews. If you saw some of these people, you would be very afraid!! We had one woman who couldn't even take the test because SHE COULDN'T READ ENGLISH!!! We had one 80 year old guy who couldn't take a test BECAUSE HE HAD NEVER USED A COMPUTER BEFORE. We have a lot of people come through that seem to have no high school education. The kicker: These people get upwards of $15/hr.
 

ntbjounin

Well-Known Member
a while back (but still after 9/11/01) i was on a multi city trip involving probably 6 or 7 trips through security. I was taking a backpack that I had just used on a camping trip. There was a small .99cent pocket knife in the bottom of the bag that i was unaware was still there.

I was on the FINAL leg of my trip before it was finally seen and confiscated.

and you know what irks me? they just GIVE all the confiscated things to a private company who then sells them off in bulk. how do i get that company? i'll take free stuff and turn around and sell it. and plenty of it!

who's little brother runs that company?
 

germb747

Well-Known Member


I bet 90% of their "power trip" comes from the notion that they think they're now "officers" and not just "screeners".
 

flyboywbl

3rd regional in 1 year
Do they carry a gun? not an officer in my mind. More like a rent-a-cop. Though i don't like to piss them off. It just makes traveling that much more of a hassle.

Racial Profiling in full swing. I was flying out of KBZN to KMSP and there was this young muslim couple who looked very wealthy. The wife was wearing pink robes and had her faced covered. She had gold every where and a Louis Veton bag (sorry for the spelling, I'm not french) any way, as soon as they got in line about three more TSA guys just showed up out of no where. As they went through the metal detector i hear "Excuse me folks, but you have been randomly selected for additional screening." Randomly selected my ass. I felt bad for them. They were probably just some rich couple visiting Big Sky or something. I swear the rural TSA guys take there job very seriously and love giving people a hard time because there are so few flights. The harshest screenings i get are out of bozeman and great falls and the laxist security are in the major airport hubs. Donno seems kind of off to me.

-Matt
 

bok269

New Member


I bet 90% of their "power trip" comes from the notion that they think they're now "officers" and not just "screeners".
When I was in ROC a few months ago, all of the screeners (non-TSA-ROC is one of the few airports where security is contracted out but under the auspices of the TSA) had ID badges that said "Officer XXXX." If you need to have officer written on your name badge, you probably shouldn't be called officer in the first place. You'd be hard pressed to find a cop with Officer on their nameplate. SGT or DET maybe, but not Officer.
 
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