Krystal
Dispatch Betty
Every year, we as dispatchers are required by law to spend 5 hours in the flight deck(and some airlines, mine inluded, we must spend an ADDITIONAL 5 hours in the sim.) observing cockpit operations so we "have a better understanding of what goes on." Our pilots, however, do not have such a requirement. This disparity is an often discussed topic among the dispatch group. The Pilot group (namely the Union and the Great Chief) comes up with any number of reasons as to why the pilots cant spend even an hour in SOC either as part of their, initial, recurrent or as part of upgrade.
Unless a pilot takes it upon himself or herself to come to SOC on their day off (There are some who do, however), they do not get to see what we do "behind the scenes" on a typical day, and rarely do they see us on an IRROP day.
Beccause of this, we as dispatchers have a few things that we would like our Pilots, our partners in crime, to know. I think these 21 items sum it up.
Ladies and Gents of the Winged World, please consider this your virtual FAM Flight.
1: We dont control the WX.
2: We understand you are concerned about your flight, but you are not the only flight. While you only need to be concerned with one flight at a time...your own....please try to remember that we can have as many as 15 flights in the air at any given time and that we can handle as many as 60 flights (Or more!) in a 10 hour shift. We wish we had the time to give you our undivided attention. Alas, its not always possible.
3: We dont know dick about your duty and rest requirements. We have a basic understanding of Whitlow but thats all we are really supposed to know. We know nothing about your contractual requirements regarding days off, high speeds, busting 16 hours, etc. Thats schedulings job. They are option #2 on the phone tree when you call SOC. Thanks!
4: We dont control the WX.
5: Dispatchers are not your personal assistants. We understand that delays, mechanical problems, groundstops etc can create total chaos in your personal life, but we have our own headahes we are dealing with. Please dont ACARS us and ask us to call and cancel your doctors appointment, call your childs school, reschedule your hair appointment, take something to the bag room, etc (yes, all of these have been requested before) If were are not up to our necks in release ammendments, we MIGHT be ok with calling your wife or friend to let them know that you just got put into a hold with an EFC of sometime next week and to NOT leave to come pick you up just yet. But please dont expect that we will be able to every time.
6: Im sure that you are very observant and I dont doubt that you were sitting right there when the mechanic signed off on the weird door buzzing or deferred you cup holder, but we wont ammend releases based on your word alone. You have a union to protect you if you take off with an open write up or the wrong MEL on your release. I could lose my job.
7:I can call. I can call. I can call ops a thousand times to remind them that you are holding short of your gate and need a ground crew, or that you have been waiting on a fuel truck for half an hour, or that the Pax are eating the flight attendants because you have been waiting for a push crew since last Christmas. There isnt much I can do from my desk other than call or radio again....that or crash the airport perimeter gate and marshal you in myself but then who would watch my desk?
8: I understand you have been cooling your heels for 3 hours waiting on an update from ATC. It sucks. Anyone who has ever taxied out of LGA at 7 pm on a wednesday night during thunderstorms can relate. But I had to pee 3 hours ago and I have yet to have 30 seonds to get up from my desk. Please dont yell at me to "get you of there." All I can do in these situations is load you up on taxi fuel and watch the clock. Occasionally, I can put on my flirty voice and batt my eyelashes at Center and get you a better EDCT time, but that is asking ALOT of Center and doesnt work very often. I know that, having already sacrificed your FA's, your poor FO is now fending off rabid Pax with the crash axe, but Mothership Airlines is also calling me every 5 minutes threatening to slit my throat with my own dispatch license if I dont get your plane off the ground -RIGHT-NOW- We both have things we would rather be doing (Potty break, for example?)
9: Really, we DONT control the WX!
10: If you send us an ACARS message and we dont respond right away, we promise we arent ignoring you. During peak hours, we sometimes have to prioritize messages from most urgent to least. While there is no excuse for a dispatcher not responding to a message about something that required the use of the QRH (Med emergancies and possible mechanical emergencies are our top priority) bear in mind that if you send me an ACARS asking if you can keep your plane to MOT and I havent responded in a few minutes, there is the possibility that I have might a flight DIVERTING there. Unless its an emergency or it is something time, fuel or safety critical, please be patient with us...and for Gods sake if you are going down in a bean field and we havent responded, call us on the radio or ARINC...it possible we didnt get the message!
11: We as dispatchers are held accountable for every drop of fuel we put on your plane. With the rising cost of jet fuel, airlines are getting more and more strict about "contingency fuel." We are held to very specific guidelines and if we deviate from those guidelines, we have to fill out a full report as to why. Our releases are audited on a daily basis (think of it as a daily "check ride.") and if we have a fuel discrepancy that cant be justified (bad wx, enroute turbulence, altitude restricted etc) we get a strike. Enoguh strikes and we're out. If there is a viable reason why you need the fuel, we are more than willing to defend it in our report (Hell, as a personal rule, if you can realistically justify why you need more fuel, you get it, no questions), However, if its perfect wx, no MEL, no turbulence and calm winds, please dont get angry if I dont release you with enough fuel to fly to Hawaii.
12: While we sometimes can have SOME influence, the following items are generally out of our control: Crew meals, gate swaps, EDCT, Wheels up, and EFC times, hotels in base, ramp closures for lightning, ramp congestion, atc delays or routing...and, of course...the WX!
13: Remember what our job is. We plan flights, monitor WX, monitor your flight and act as a go between for Mothership Airlines. We are not schedulers...if you have a question about your hotel, comp days after your high speed, or you duty time, call scheduling. Not dispatch. We are not mechanics. If you feel that the wrong MEL was applied, please talk to Maintenance Control. Not dispatch. We are not customer service agents. If you have a pax that got on the wrong flight, we will certainly notify the arrival station but please dont expect me to book them on the correct flight. They need customer service...not dispatch.
14: Dont assume we dont know about commuting. While, true, there are far fewer commuting dispatchers than crew, we do exist. Yes, I am one of them. For example, on my "monday" I have a 5 am wakeup call for a 10 hour shift that starts at 6 pm. By the time you talk to me, its possible that I have been awake for 24 hours. On my last day, I am out at 4 am and jumpseating on a different airline at 6 am...unless I get stuck at my desk for a delay. When Im finally home, I hang up my "Dispatch Krystal" lanyard andput on my mom "mom, maid, grocery shopper, dinner maker, litter box cleaner, kid washer and putter to bedder, glas of wine and pass out on the coucher" apron. i know what it is to commute, to miss a commute and to only have a couple of days at home at a time. I feel your pain.
15: Still cant control the WX.
16: Your suspicions are correct. There ARE bad dispatchers out there: The kind who will plan you flight based on the text of the TAF alone, without so much as a glance at NOTAMS, radar, or the FAA OIS page. We hate them because they are usually passing their flights down to us. We try our best to correct their mistakes before departure time but it doesnt always happen. (btw, please check name on the release. If a female answers the phone, dont start screaming at "Bob") Its an unfortunate reality that one bad dispatcher tends to ruin the reputation of the entire dispatch group. Please dont go on and on if another dispatcher srews up. chances are, I already know about it and Ive already had my cursing session with the other dispatchers on the floor.
17: If it seems like you're filed to low, refer to #11. You can always go higher.
18: On average, your flight is release 2 hours before your departure time. This isnt a personal rule. This is a policy instilled by Mothership Airlines to ensure that your release isnt late. We would rather build your flight 45 minutes to departure, with you on the phone giving your imput. Unfortunately, thats not how it work.s The downside to the "no late releases" thing is that 2 hours is a long time in Aviation World. TAFs change, winds shift, and unforecasted Bloody Apocalypse can crop up on your route. Please keep this in mind. The majority of us dont purposly "file you down the throat of the second coming of Jeebus" It is not the goal of dispatch to have you land in a bean field with 12 lbs of fuel left.
19: You are on a recorded line. If you swear at me, threaten me, or call me derogatory names, that tape WILL be turned over to the Great Chief. You are a professional. You wouldnt expect me to behave that way, please show us the same courtesy.
20: Youd be surpised how far a simple "Thank You" will get you. No need for fanfare, ticker tape or steak dinners. (Ok, MAYBE steak dinners!) After we've spent the past 5 hours bending over backwards, starving with our frozen dinner 3 feet away and done the pee-pee dance at our desk for the better part of our shift, a phone call to say thanks makes our entire night
21: The majority of us love our job and worked hard to get where we are. In the end,. pilots and dispatchers will always be mortal enemies. You picture me as a female dog in a headset, passed out at her desk over the remnants of a butler served steak dinner. There are days when I have the mental image of a donkey in a pilot hat, feet propped up on the glare shield, sipping a diet coke and looking at the latest Trade-a-Plane. We would hope, thought, that we can put aside those differences and get back to "living the dream." Above all else, we are partners...whether we like it or not.
Oh, and we STILL dont control the WX!
Unless a pilot takes it upon himself or herself to come to SOC on their day off (There are some who do, however), they do not get to see what we do "behind the scenes" on a typical day, and rarely do they see us on an IRROP day.
Beccause of this, we as dispatchers have a few things that we would like our Pilots, our partners in crime, to know. I think these 21 items sum it up.
Ladies and Gents of the Winged World, please consider this your virtual FAM Flight.
1: We dont control the WX.
2: We understand you are concerned about your flight, but you are not the only flight. While you only need to be concerned with one flight at a time...your own....please try to remember that we can have as many as 15 flights in the air at any given time and that we can handle as many as 60 flights (Or more!) in a 10 hour shift. We wish we had the time to give you our undivided attention. Alas, its not always possible.
3: We dont know dick about your duty and rest requirements. We have a basic understanding of Whitlow but thats all we are really supposed to know. We know nothing about your contractual requirements regarding days off, high speeds, busting 16 hours, etc. Thats schedulings job. They are option #2 on the phone tree when you call SOC. Thanks!
4: We dont control the WX.
5: Dispatchers are not your personal assistants. We understand that delays, mechanical problems, groundstops etc can create total chaos in your personal life, but we have our own headahes we are dealing with. Please dont ACARS us and ask us to call and cancel your doctors appointment, call your childs school, reschedule your hair appointment, take something to the bag room, etc (yes, all of these have been requested before) If were are not up to our necks in release ammendments, we MIGHT be ok with calling your wife or friend to let them know that you just got put into a hold with an EFC of sometime next week and to NOT leave to come pick you up just yet. But please dont expect that we will be able to every time.
6: Im sure that you are very observant and I dont doubt that you were sitting right there when the mechanic signed off on the weird door buzzing or deferred you cup holder, but we wont ammend releases based on your word alone. You have a union to protect you if you take off with an open write up or the wrong MEL on your release. I could lose my job.
7:I can call. I can call. I can call ops a thousand times to remind them that you are holding short of your gate and need a ground crew, or that you have been waiting on a fuel truck for half an hour, or that the Pax are eating the flight attendants because you have been waiting for a push crew since last Christmas. There isnt much I can do from my desk other than call or radio again....that or crash the airport perimeter gate and marshal you in myself but then who would watch my desk?
8: I understand you have been cooling your heels for 3 hours waiting on an update from ATC. It sucks. Anyone who has ever taxied out of LGA at 7 pm on a wednesday night during thunderstorms can relate. But I had to pee 3 hours ago and I have yet to have 30 seonds to get up from my desk. Please dont yell at me to "get you of there." All I can do in these situations is load you up on taxi fuel and watch the clock. Occasionally, I can put on my flirty voice and batt my eyelashes at Center and get you a better EDCT time, but that is asking ALOT of Center and doesnt work very often. I know that, having already sacrificed your FA's, your poor FO is now fending off rabid Pax with the crash axe, but Mothership Airlines is also calling me every 5 minutes threatening to slit my throat with my own dispatch license if I dont get your plane off the ground -RIGHT-NOW- We both have things we would rather be doing (Potty break, for example?)
9: Really, we DONT control the WX!
10: If you send us an ACARS message and we dont respond right away, we promise we arent ignoring you. During peak hours, we sometimes have to prioritize messages from most urgent to least. While there is no excuse for a dispatcher not responding to a message about something that required the use of the QRH (Med emergancies and possible mechanical emergencies are our top priority) bear in mind that if you send me an ACARS asking if you can keep your plane to MOT and I havent responded in a few minutes, there is the possibility that I have might a flight DIVERTING there. Unless its an emergency or it is something time, fuel or safety critical, please be patient with us...and for Gods sake if you are going down in a bean field and we havent responded, call us on the radio or ARINC...it possible we didnt get the message!
11: We as dispatchers are held accountable for every drop of fuel we put on your plane. With the rising cost of jet fuel, airlines are getting more and more strict about "contingency fuel." We are held to very specific guidelines and if we deviate from those guidelines, we have to fill out a full report as to why. Our releases are audited on a daily basis (think of it as a daily "check ride.") and if we have a fuel discrepancy that cant be justified (bad wx, enroute turbulence, altitude restricted etc) we get a strike. Enoguh strikes and we're out. If there is a viable reason why you need the fuel, we are more than willing to defend it in our report (Hell, as a personal rule, if you can realistically justify why you need more fuel, you get it, no questions), However, if its perfect wx, no MEL, no turbulence and calm winds, please dont get angry if I dont release you with enough fuel to fly to Hawaii.
12: While we sometimes can have SOME influence, the following items are generally out of our control: Crew meals, gate swaps, EDCT, Wheels up, and EFC times, hotels in base, ramp closures for lightning, ramp congestion, atc delays or routing...and, of course...the WX!
13: Remember what our job is. We plan flights, monitor WX, monitor your flight and act as a go between for Mothership Airlines. We are not schedulers...if you have a question about your hotel, comp days after your high speed, or you duty time, call scheduling. Not dispatch. We are not mechanics. If you feel that the wrong MEL was applied, please talk to Maintenance Control. Not dispatch. We are not customer service agents. If you have a pax that got on the wrong flight, we will certainly notify the arrival station but please dont expect me to book them on the correct flight. They need customer service...not dispatch.
14: Dont assume we dont know about commuting. While, true, there are far fewer commuting dispatchers than crew, we do exist. Yes, I am one of them. For example, on my "monday" I have a 5 am wakeup call for a 10 hour shift that starts at 6 pm. By the time you talk to me, its possible that I have been awake for 24 hours. On my last day, I am out at 4 am and jumpseating on a different airline at 6 am...unless I get stuck at my desk for a delay. When Im finally home, I hang up my "Dispatch Krystal" lanyard andput on my mom "mom, maid, grocery shopper, dinner maker, litter box cleaner, kid washer and putter to bedder, glas of wine and pass out on the coucher" apron. i know what it is to commute, to miss a commute and to only have a couple of days at home at a time. I feel your pain.
15: Still cant control the WX.
16: Your suspicions are correct. There ARE bad dispatchers out there: The kind who will plan you flight based on the text of the TAF alone, without so much as a glance at NOTAMS, radar, or the FAA OIS page. We hate them because they are usually passing their flights down to us. We try our best to correct their mistakes before departure time but it doesnt always happen. (btw, please check name on the release. If a female answers the phone, dont start screaming at "Bob") Its an unfortunate reality that one bad dispatcher tends to ruin the reputation of the entire dispatch group. Please dont go on and on if another dispatcher srews up. chances are, I already know about it and Ive already had my cursing session with the other dispatchers on the floor.
17: If it seems like you're filed to low, refer to #11. You can always go higher.
18: On average, your flight is release 2 hours before your departure time. This isnt a personal rule. This is a policy instilled by Mothership Airlines to ensure that your release isnt late. We would rather build your flight 45 minutes to departure, with you on the phone giving your imput. Unfortunately, thats not how it work.s The downside to the "no late releases" thing is that 2 hours is a long time in Aviation World. TAFs change, winds shift, and unforecasted Bloody Apocalypse can crop up on your route. Please keep this in mind. The majority of us dont purposly "file you down the throat of the second coming of Jeebus" It is not the goal of dispatch to have you land in a bean field with 12 lbs of fuel left.
19: You are on a recorded line. If you swear at me, threaten me, or call me derogatory names, that tape WILL be turned over to the Great Chief. You are a professional. You wouldnt expect me to behave that way, please show us the same courtesy.
20: Youd be surpised how far a simple "Thank You" will get you. No need for fanfare, ticker tape or steak dinners. (Ok, MAYBE steak dinners!) After we've spent the past 5 hours bending over backwards, starving with our frozen dinner 3 feet away and done the pee-pee dance at our desk for the better part of our shift, a phone call to say thanks makes our entire night
21: The majority of us love our job and worked hard to get where we are. In the end,. pilots and dispatchers will always be mortal enemies. You picture me as a female dog in a headset, passed out at her desk over the remnants of a butler served steak dinner. There are days when I have the mental image of a donkey in a pilot hat, feet propped up on the glare shield, sipping a diet coke and looking at the latest Trade-a-Plane. We would hope, thought, that we can put aside those differences and get back to "living the dream." Above all else, we are partners...whether we like it or not.
Oh, and we STILL dont control the WX!